Big Bang Part 2
Title: You're Just a Line in a Song
Pairings: Puck/Kurt, minor Blaine/Kurt in the beginning. Friendships: Kurt/Puck. Kurt/Sam, Kurt/Brittany, Kurt/Santana, Kurt/Quinn.
Characters: Kurt, Puck,
Genre: Angst, AU-ish after Heart
Warnings: Character sickness, angst, jackass glee clubbers, Karofsky?
Author Notes: Thank you to my superawesomemegafoxyhot beta sunflowersdream and to boysinperil for making a awesome fanmix. It's my first bigbang, so I hope you like it!
Word count: 21,186
Summary: During an argument between Blaine and Kurt, Blaine lets it slip what really happened between Kurt and Karofsky. Puck watches as the majority of the glee club turns on Kurt, and decides he wants to find out Kurt's side. He certainly wasn't expecting everything that happened next.
The next time Kurt opened his eyes his Dad was sitting in the chair that Puck had been sitting in, Carole was sitting next to him, and Finn was pouting in the corner. His dad looked worn, and Kurt couldn’t help but feel guilty about that.
“Dad,” He said trying to clear his throat. Both his Dad and Carole shot up at his voice, and Finn jerked a little, surprised at the sound of his voice.
“Hey buddy, how ya feeling?” His dad asked looking relieved to see him awake.
“I’m ok, a little nauseous, could I have some water?” He said and watched as Carole poured him a glass, handing it to him, he sipped it slowly.
“Thank you,” He watched as Finn’s faced settled back into a semi-pout.
“So, Brittany’s mom showed us the list of people approved to visit, are you sure you don’t want to include anyone else?” Burt asked carefully.
“Yeah, like your friends from the glee club.” Finn put in angrily, ignoring the look his mother shot him.
“All my friends from the glee club are on that list.” Kurt replied, leaning his head back a little. Burt nodded, and glanced at Carole.
“Well, why don’t we let you talk to Santana and Sam for a while, she’s been pacing the halls for a while, we’ll go get some coffee.” Burt said and Carole stood, pushing Finn out with them. Moments later, Santana and Sam invaded the room.
“I talked to Brittany and Quinn, they didn’t want to overwhelm you, but the rest of the glee club had the gall not only to show up, but then act all surprised and butt hurt that they weren’t allowed in to see you.” Santana informed him as she hopped up on the foot of his bed.
“I’m not surprised.” Kurt said tiredly.
“So what happened?” Sam asked.
“Ah, well my blood pressure got raised, and I blacked out. I should be ok; they’re going to keep me a couple nights for blood work and observation.” Kurt told them, and when Santana set him with a look he sighed.
“How’d your blood pressure get raised?” Santana asked, and Kurt rubbed the back of his neck.
“That depends, have you spoken to Puck already?” Kurt asked and Sam and Santana exchanged a look.
“Yeah, we have.” Sam said and Kurt smiled a little.
“Then you know the answer.” Kurt replied and Santana looked like she might get off his bed and hunt Finn down.
“You should have seen the others.” Sam said, “They all said they were so worried about you, but for people who claim to be so worried, they sure got pissy when they were told they weren’t allowed to see you.”
“I should have been more specific and said to just call you two.” Kurt said rubbing his head.
“Well considering the task was entrusted to Finn, he would have done whatever he wanted anyway. He apparently told Rachel who called the others, but when they got here, Rachel asked Finn if he was ok, and how scary it must have been for him.” Santana informed him.
“Puck was actually asked to leave the hospital because he caused such a scene losing it on her.” Sam said. “I don’t think he actually left, I think he’s hiding out in the cafeteria.”
“He’s angry; he lost it all over Finn earlier too.” Kurt said, though it felt somewhat like he was making excuses for the other boy.
“Well, he has a right to be. I’m angry too, they can’t treat you the way they have been and they act all surprised when you pull away from them. Rachel didn’t even ask how you were before fawning all over how scary it must have been for Finn. Mike was the only one who actually asked how you were once he got here, and he was the only one who left without protest when they weren’t on the list.” Santana explained, irritating in her voice.
“Of all their supposed apologizes, his was the only one I even half way believed.” Kurt said, and he knew that Mike hadn’t really taken part of ripping him apart. “I might need talk to him once I’m out of the hospital.” He listened as Sam and Santana began telling him about how ridiculous the others had been behaving, and Sam kept up a steady narration as he fell asleep. He barely heard the door close as they left.
Every day that Kurt was in the hospital, Puck, Sam, Santana, Brittany and Quinn came to visit him. Kurt had found out who his real friends actually were, and it made the stay a little bit more bearable.
*********
Kurt stayed in the hospital for two days before being allowed to leave. To his knowledge the glee club showed up both days, and every day acted surprised he hadn’t changed his mind to let them in. Rachel at one point even demanded that she be allowed in to see him, because he didn’t have the right to keep her out. He couldn’t help but laugh when Puck so joyfully told him all about how she was escorted out of the hospital for disrupting other patients.
He returned to school that following Monday, and spent a lot of it trying to hide from the glee club members. Unfortunately, he couldn’t avoid them forever and when Mr. Schue said he needed to talk to him, the last thing he expected was to be ambushed by the rest of the glee club. He turned a betrayed look on his teacher, who looked away guiltily.
“Kurt,” Mercedes began “You’ve been avoiding us, but we, as a group, feel like we should talk.”
“It might have been nice if you had been so willing to talk before.” Kurt replied, and when Puck stepped through the doorway looking furious, the others shifted.
“What the fuck is this?” Puck demanded.
“They want to talk apparently.” Kurt told him flatly.
“Well, you’ve got one minute before I fling Hummel over my shoulder and carry him out of here like a caveman.” Puck said folding his arms across his chest, and ignoring the slightly amused look Tina threw him.
“Look, we just want to talk to you.” Rachel said exasperated. “It shouldn’t be such an ordeal to talk to you. You wouldn’t even let us visit you when you were in the hospital!”
“Why would I want you there?” Kurt asked, and Rachel looked startled, and Kurt found himself growing angry. “None of you except for Mike have given me an apology that was even remotely sincere. Blaine apologized, but honestly Blaine, that felt more like you were trying to make yourself feel better. You wanted an out, and it just happened I was able to provide you with one so you wouldn’t have to be the bad guy by breaking up with me. My being sick gave you a convenient out. You all think that just because I’m sick you can give me some false platitudes and I should just accept it, because what? I couldn’t possibly survive without your so called friendships?”
“I really am sorry for what happened Kurt.” Blaine said softly, but he didn’t argue the point any further.
“We are your friends!” Artie protested, and Kurt actually laughed.
“The only person in this room who is my friend is Puck, and he’s only here because what you were passing by?” Kurt asked sounding angrier than Puck thought was healthy.
“Yup, and Santana is going to go ballistic when she finds out about this.” He agreed.
“Kurt, you’re being unreasonable, we all came to the hospital when we found out you were there.” Rachel argued.
“Who asked you too?” Kurt demanded and she stared at him dumbfounded. “I asked Finn to call Sam and Santana, if he called the rest of you, that’s on him. I certainly didn’t want you there pretending that you were my friends and trying to make yourselves feel better.”
“Kurt, that’s not fair.” Tina said softly, and Puck stiffened.
“Are you people serious? He’s made himself pretty damn clear, how else is he supposed to say to stay the fuck away from him?” Puck demanded.
“This has nothing to do with you Puckerman!” Finn snapped and Kurt straightened up.
“Actually it has nothing to do with you.” Kurt replied and Finn whipped his head around to look at him. “It has nothing to do with any of you. So let’s make this clear, I meant everything I said before, and I am not stupid. I know you are still wrapped up with what happened with Karofsky and really, you just feel guilty that I happened to get sick shortly afterwards. You do not actually feel bad for what you said to me, or how you treated me. Your so called apologizes have made that clear. How you behave now, makes that clear. You feel entitled to know what’s going on in my life, but then turn around and trash me for it later.”
“Kurt,” Mercedes tried to cut in, but he held up a hand to silence her.
“I’ll make this simple, we are not friends.” Kurt said plainly, ignoring the fact that Mercedes and Rachel flinched and that Tina’s eyes were beginning to water. “We were once, and I mourned the loss of our friendships, but we aren’t friends anymore. “
“Kurt, that isn’t fair.” Blaine said softly.
“Hey Hobbit, you don’t have any lines in this play.” Puck snarled, picking up the rather unflattering nickname Santana had for him.
“It might not be fair, but when has fair ever actually mattered? A lot of things aren’t fair, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It’s not fair that when you all found out about Karofsky you weren’t supportive and instead turned on me. It’s not fair that you,” He said pointing at Blaine. “Not only outted everything, but didn’t have to take any of the blame. It’s not fair that I’m sick. None of that is fair, but it happened anyway. So don’t talk to me about fair.”
“I think we’ve had enough for one day.” Puck said snarling, and putting a hand on Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt gave a sharp nod and the pair exited the room, Puck flipping everyone off as he went.
“Giving everyone the finger was a nice touch.” Kurt said dryly and Puck smirked.
“Come on Hummel, I don’t trust them not to give chase. Let’s go find Santana and tell her what happened so we can watch her face turn like seven shades of purple.”
“You have a weird idea of entertainment.” Kurt said good-naturedly but let Puck lead him away, and not a moment too soon because they just turned the corner when they heard Rachel’s shrill voice in the hallway behind them.
*********
Santana had taken up a guard duty with Puck when it came to keeping the others away from Kurt. Puck was big enough to scare most away and Santana was scary enough to keep them at bay. Mike had been the only member of the glee club to actually talk to Kurt and not be chased away. Tina kept giving him these sad looks while Mercedes and Rachel openly stared when he was in the halls. Blaine kept giving him these sad precious moment eyes and Artie had taken to watching him with this calculating look, like he had come to some great epiphany. The only person from the glee club he was forced to deal with was Finn. Puck was more than happy to keep Finn away from him as much as possible at school though. Things went on well enough for a couple of weeks, and while the others might stare and given him sad pathetic looks, his friends kept them at bay.
Kurt hadn’t been feeling particularly well for the past week or so, so he really appreciated the interference. He managed to convince his dad he was well enough for school, and continued on with his days, pretending he wasn’t feeling sicker each day. His chemo dosage had been upped and he assumed his body was just reacting to the chemicals destroying his system.
All was well and good until he found himself in the same restroom as Artie. He thought about leaving, but the sudden violent urge to vomit overcame all other, and he just barely dropped to his knees in the nearest stall before he got sick. He could hear Artie’s chair rolling across the tile and when Kurt was finally done dry heaving, and flushed the toilet twice, he opened the door to find Artie there holding a paper towel and a small bottle of scope.
“We aren’t supposed to have mouthwash on campus, but no one ever asks to check my bag.” Artie said, and after a moment Kurt accepted both.
“Thank you.” He said rinsing his mouth out with water, and then the scope that Artie had offered.
“So, I know you’re pretty angry, and I’ve come to the realization that you have every right to be.” He said and Kurt met his eyes through the mirror. “We were hurt that it felt like you shut us out, but then you really did shut us out. I really took a proper look at the situation, and I think now in hindsight, after the damage has been done, I can see why you wouldn’t consider us your friends anymore. I just wanted to tell you that I really am sorry. You might not be my friend right now, but I’m going to try and make it so you could be again. So I’m going to back off, and if you want to talk to me, you know where to find me ok?”
“Thanks Artie, I appreciate that.” Kurt told him genuinely thankful for that. “Wait, why aren’t we supposed to have mouthwash?”
“Beats the hell out of me man.” Artie said with a laugh before he threw Kurt a wave and rolled out of the room, leaving Kurt standing there hands braced on the sink. He still felt pretty awful and a little lightheaded if he was honest. He stayed like that, breathing through his teeth until the door swung back open and Blaine and Finn walked in. Blaine staggered to a stop in the doorway, but Finn barely glanced at Kurt as he went into one of the stalls.
“Are you ok?” Blaine asked hesitantly. Kurt looked pale and a little gray in his face, and Blaine was no doctor but he was sure that couldn’t be good. When Kurt turned to answer him, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he pitched forward. If it wasn’t for Blaine’s quick reflexes, he would have smashed his face on the ground.
“KURT!” His voice echoed around the room and Finn stuttered a few curses as he tried to finish up in a hurry. “Finn, call an ambulance!” Finn stumbled out of the stall, phone already in hand.
“What the hell happened?!” He demanded frantically pushing buttons on his phone.
“I don’t know, I asked him if he was ok, he looked really pale and gray and then he just passed out!” Blaine said trying to adjust his hold on Kurt as he dangled rather lifelessly from his arms. For a brief terrifying moment, Blaine thought Kurt just died right there, but he could feel him breathing still, and felt foolish for panicking. He managed to adjust his hold and ease them both to the ground. He vaguely heard Finn yelling into his cell phone and when a passing student poked their head into the room, they saw Kurt sprawled out in Blaine’s lap and Finn barking information into his cell phone and disappeared.
Blaine would forever be thankful to that nameless kid when Mr. Schue, Coach Sylvester and Coach Beiste hurried into the room. His arms were suddenly empty and he was pushed back to stand next to Finn as the adults did whatever they could to bring Kurt back around. When the EMT’s finally arrived, Blaine watched as everything went like it was in fast forward, Kurt’s on a stretcher, people were yelling over each other, and suddenly he’s standing there alone, Finn having been ushered alongside the gurney to give whatever medical information he could.
Feeling like he was in a fog, Blaine ended up calling Puck. He called him eight times before the bigger boy finally picked up demanding to know why the fuck he’s calling. Blaine barely stammered out an explanation before Puck hung up on him. Blaine stood there for what feels like an eternity, and he only left when Mike came to retrieve him.
*********
Finn would be lying if he said he had been surprised when Puck showed up. In fact he would have been more surprised if he hadn’t showed up. They weren’t speaking to each other, but Puck was pacing around the small space like a wild animal. Finn wished his mother and Burt were here, but they were in DC, and Finn had to leave a message since neither was answering their cell phones. Blaine had trailed in quietly after Puck, and while he was physically sitting next to Finn, he doubted the other boy was really there. Blaine’s eyes were blank, and Finn thinks he probably freaked out so badly that he’s trying to rationalize it in his head.
Slowly, Santana, Brittany, Sam, Quinn, and Rachel trickled into the room. Rachel plastered herself on Finn’s opposite side, with the other four tried to get Puck to settle down some. After a moment, Santana turned a rather hostile look at the other three.
“I get why Frankenteen is here, but what the hell are the dwarf and hobbit doing here? Shouldn’t you be defending middle earth or something?” She demanded.
“I…I just wanted to make sure he’s ok, he just…he just collapsed, it was so fast.” Blaine murmured and Santana’s harsh glare softened the slightest bit.
“Why do you care,” Rachel snapped back. “We have every right to be here, Kurt might be able to keep us out of his room with his stupid lists, but he can’t keep us from sitting in the waiting room.”
“Mom,” Brittany said suddenly, cutting off Santana’s reply and the rest of the group turned to see a blond woman, obviously Mrs. Peirce.
“Hello kids,” She greeted. “I just spoke with Kurt’s doctor, he’s awake.” Finn began to stand up but she held up a hand to stall him. “He’s asking for Blaine, is he here?”
“I’m Blaine.” He replied, looking startled. She motioned for him to come with her, and he did so barely sparing a glance at the others as he went. He poked his head through the door, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but Kurt didn’t look like someone who was inches from death. He looked pale and tired, but he didn’t look in any immediate danger of dropping dead.
“Hey,” He greeted and Blaine tried to smile, but he wasn’t sure if he managed it. “Thanks for breaking my fall.”
“God Kurt,” Blaine moaned, sinking into a nearby chair. “The last thing I was expecting when I asked if you were ok was for you to prove you were really not ok.”
“Guess I was a little sicker than I thought.” Kurt said with a mild shrug. Blaine wanted to laugh, but he just couldn’t. There were so many things Blaine wanted to say, but he couldn’t seem to vocalize anything that seemed worth saying.
“I miss you.” Was what he ended up blurting out and then continued before Kurt could say anything in response. “I miss us, and you had a point, I blabbed your information to give and I didn’t have to take any of the blame for it. I’m sorry, I know you’re probably sick of hearing it, but I really am sorry about everything.”
“I know Blaine,” Kurt assured him. “I believe you’re sorry, but…I can’t give you anything right now. I can’t absolve your guilt or pretend that everything’s ok. It’s not ok, but maybe one day we could be friends again like we used to be.”
“I’d like that.” Blaine said, because he didn’t really have anything else to say. “Do you think I might be able to visit you? Not in the hospital if you don’t want, but maybe when you’re home?”
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to add your name to the list. I suggest you come visit with Finn though, or Maybe Quinn. I don’t think the others will be particularly accommodating.”
“Whatever you want me to do.” Blaine said managing a little bit more genuine smile. “I should go; I think Puck might start dismantling walls if he doesn’t get to see you right this second.” He stood, and slipped from the room.
“Puck, I think he wants to see you next.” Blaine said, and quickly dodged to the side to avoid being run over by Puck.
“Is he ok?” Finn asked, and Blaine rubbed the back of his neck a little.
“He seems ok, I mean he seems tired and kinda pale, but he didn’t seem like he was in really bad shape or anything.” Blaine replied. “He said I could visit him with you.” He added softly, in hopes that Santana would not overhear.
“Oh, well good. I need someone who’s on my side.” Finn said with a nod.
“I’m not on anyone’s side Finn.” Blaine said with a sigh, but Finn obviously wasn’t listening since he was now turned towards Rachel as she yammered on about how it just wasn’t fair for him to keep the others out. He rolled his eyes and slumped down in his seat, he wouldn’t leave just yet.
*********
When Puck had finally answered the phone and found out what had happened, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared. All he heard was Kurt had passed out and had been taken to the hospital. So he had ditched the rest of his classes and made his way to the hospital. Once he got there it dawned on him he should probably tell the others. He blasted off a text to Santana, and barely noticed when Blaine slinked in behind him.
In the time that had passed, Puck came to think of Kurt as his best friend. He wasn’t sure if the other boy felt the same way, but in the time they’d spent together, Puck found he genuinely liked Kurt. It had gone from thinking the others were being ridiculous to actually enjoying being in the other boys company. So now he was scared, what if he best friend couldn’t win this fight? Then he shook himself because, this was Kurt he was talking about. He ignored Finn and Blaine, and while he had been surprised when Kurt asked for Blaine, he had been far less surprised when Blaine said he was asking for him.
“You gotta stop doing this shit.” He informed Kurt as he flopped down in the chair Blaine had vacated. “Seriously, I’m running out of underwear because you keep ruining them when you scare the shit out of me.”
“I apologize for your lack of underwear.” Kurt replied, and Puck couldn’t help but grin.
“Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t decide to go commando today.” And Kurt can’t help but laugh, shaking his head.
“I’m sorry though, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Hell, I think you scared the hobbit so bad he actually might be trying to invent a time machine so he can go back in time and sew his lips together.” Puck replied and Kurt laughed again.
“I think Blaine is sorry for starting this whole thing with the club.” Kurt admitted, “I’m still angry with him, but I think I could get over it.”
“Yeah, he seemed pretty freaked. I guess anyone would be if they were talking to you one minute, and the next they were trying to keep you from smashing your face on the floor.” Puck replied, he supposed he could feel at least a little bad for the kids scare.
“Yeah it was so surreal. One moment I’m talking to Artie and he’s giving me contraband mouthwash and apologizing and telling me he’ll back off and wait for me to come to him if I want too, the next, Blaine’s there and everything is tunnel visioning.” Kurt said suddenly looking tired.
“Have the doctors said anything?” Puck ventured to ask and Kurt sighed.
“I think they’re going to keep me in the hospital until my chemo is done. My doctor said it would be best, he thinks school might be adding undue stress. Once we get a hold of my parents, I’ll see about having my school work brought to me here I guess.”
“Is that a bad sign?” Puck asked, suddenly feeling sick. “That they’re keeping you here?”
“Eh, maybe? I’m not really sure; it could just be to avoid any extra stress. I admit it’ll be a nice reprieve from the looks from the glee club.”
“Oh yeah, Rachel’s here by the way, I’m sure she’s contacted the others.”
“Only Mike’s been added officially, and I told Blaine he could come with Finn, since he asked if he could visit, and then offered to wait until I was out of the hospital to do it. So the rest of them can show up, but they still won’t be allowed in.”
“Probably best to tell him to visit with Finn, not sure if any of us would be all that keen on having him around.” Puck replied, and Kurt shrugged.
“I don’t expect you guys do forgive anyone just because I happen too, and while there’s still some work to be done, I think eventually I’ll be able to forgive those who try to earn it.” Kurt said.
“But I can still be an ass right?” Puck joked and Kurt smirked a little.
“Like anyone’s ever been able to stop you from being an ass before.” Kurt replied, and Puck grinned before settling back into his seat a little.
“How much do you want to bet that Rachel will have another fit about not being allowed it?” Puck asked and Kurt sighed.
“I don’t know there’s probably a really good chance of it happening. It sucks; I thought we had become such good friends, jokes on me.” He said shaking his head.
“Well hell, you’ve got Santana wrapped around your finger, you snap and she’d probably kill someone for you.” Puck said trying to lighten the mood.
“Well, that’s something.” Kurt said before yawning. “I should tell you, the Chemo is getting kind of bad, I’m sick a lot, I know you kind of have a thing about vomit, so I could have people report back to you if I’m having a particularly vomit filled day.”
“Dude,” Puck said blinking. “I’ll deal with the barf, no problem.”
“If you say so.” Kurt said and Puck snorted.
“You already nearly threw up on my shoes once.” He said and Kurt smirked.
“Yeah, and you nearly threw up on me in return.” Kurt replied and Puck laughed. “I think I’m going to get some rest while I can, it’s only a matter of time before my Dad and Carole get the messages that were left for them.”
“Sure thing, I’ll hang around for a while.” Puck replied, and after Kurt drifted off, he didn’t bother to leave even after Finn joined in him the room, the pair sitting in awkward silence before Finn spoke.
“I do care you know.” Finn said, breaking the silence.
“Whatever lets you sleep at night.” Puck replied shrugging.
“You really don’t have any reason to keep being such a prick.” Finn said annoyance in his voice. “It’s not like we’ve done anything wrong.”
“Finn,” Puck said slowly, drawing the name out and making it sound like an insult. “You are not a bright boy, everyone is aware of this, so I’ll make sure to use real little words. You have done nothing but be wrong since this whole thing began. You and your harpy have done nothing but make backhanded remarks since he quit the club. If you really think you haven’t done anything wrong, you aren’t just dumb; you are a complete and total waste of human space.”
“Like you have any room to talk,” Finn snarled. “You seem to think you’re so much better. You threw him in the trash. You nailed his lawn furniture to his roof, you threw slushies in his face, and you called him horrible names. What makes you so much better?”
“I stopped.” Puck said flatly. “I stopped doing those things, and if you think you never did anything like that to him, then you really are a dumbass. I’m not the one who told him he brought to much attention to himself. I’m not the one who told him that he shouldn’t sing with Sam because it would make other people not want to join the club. I’m not the one who continues to hurt him. None of that was me that was all you. I’m the one who stuck with him. I’m the one who listened to his side and I’m the one who is here by choice.”
“Shut up, you have no idea…”
“Why don’t you both shut up?” Kurt asked tiredly from the bed. “Seriously, am I going to have to separate you like you’re in kindergarten? Because if I chose between you, Finn you are not going to like the outcome.”
“I’m your brother!” Finn protested and Kurt shook his head.
“You’ve been a pretty bad brother lately.” Kurt said flatly and Finn flinched. “You said you really did care, so prove it to me. Stop making things harder, if you really can’t get over this whole thing with Karofsky, then do us both a favor, and don’t visit me. Don’t talk to me, pretend I don’t exist. If you care, then stop making it worse for me.”
“Ok man, just take it easy.” Finn said holding his hands out in a placating manner. “Do you want me to call for the doctor or a nurse?”
“No, I’m alright. I just need to rest, I’m really tired.”
“Rest, I’m going to text Santana and promise her you are in fact still alive.” Puck said and Kurt drifted off before Puck even had his phone out of his pocket. Finn sat silently beside him for a few moments before sighing and rubbing his eyes.
“I’ll be back; I’m going to try my mom again.” He said before he left the room. Puck barely grunted in response and once he was finished with his text, he sat back in his chair and closed his eyes. He might as well get some rest too.
*********
The following week was a bit of a blur for Kurt. Between tests and visits from his friends and the awkward visits with Finn and Blaine and his father having more than one mini freak out, the days blurred into one another. It was Saturday when things took a turn for the weird. Finn and Blaine were sitting with him, making awkward stilted conversation when the door opened slowly and Dave Karofsky poked his head into the room.
“What the hell are you doing here? Get the hell out!” Finn screeched and Blaine flinched at the sound.
“I heard Kurt was sick and I wanted to visit.” Karofsky said simply and ignored Finn completely when Kurt motioned him in.
“Santana called?” Kurt asked and Karofsky nodded setting down a basket of flowers he brought.
“Yeah, thought I’d want to know. How ya feeling?” He asked and Finn sputtered. Kurt almost laughed at the expression on his face.
“I’m alright.” Kurt told him and Karofsky glanced over at the other two.
“Hudson, shut your mouth, you’ll catch fly’s.” Karofsky said and Blaine actually snorted out a laugh.
“So I hear that you got Lopez wrapped around your finger, nice work.” Karofsky said with a wink and Kurt laughed.
“So Puck says.”
“I would have been by sooner, but I wasn’t sure how welcome I’d be.” Karofsky admitted taking a seat.
“You’re more welcome than a lot of people.” Blaine said honestly, and Karofsky raised an eyebrow.
“Long story, I’ll fill you in later.” Kurt answered the unasked question.
“Wait, Wait!” Finn protested. “You won’t let your friends from the glee club in, but you’ll let him in?!”
“I let my friends from the glee club in.” Kurt said simply. “My friends are the people who stood by me and didn’t pretend to be apologetic when I got sick.”
“Sounds like a lot has been happening,” Karofsky said with a frown. Before Kurt could answer he turned very, very pale. Blaine reacted quickly and shoved an empty basin under him, just getting there in time as Kurt heaved. Finn’s nose wrinkled and Karofsky hesitated just for a moment before fetching water from the opposite side of the room.
“Sorry,” Kurt said wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “The chemo is getting rougher.” He took a sip of the water that Karofsky held out to him.
“Don’t apologize, it happens.” Blaine replied and Karofsky nodded.
“Puckerman said he’d be by later, try not to barf, he has a thing about it.” Karofsky teased and Kurt gave a small laugh.
“He told me he could handle it. I have to give him credit, I almost did throw up on him once, and he didn’t throw up himself.”
“That is an accomplishment.” Karofsky said grinning. Kurt smiled weakly in return before sagging against his pillows.
“That’s what three times today? “ Kurt asked, and Blaine nodded. “That’s better than yesterday.”
“You seemed wiped, so I won’t stay. I just wanted to check in on you. You have my cell number, text or call if you need anything.” Karofsky gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before turning to leave. He gave Finn a rather disapproving calculating look before a deep frown etched onto his face and he left the room, pulling his cell phone out as he went.
“That’s bullshit Kurt,” Finn snapped. “You won’t let the others in, but you’ll see him?”
“Why wouldn’t he?” Blaine cut in before Kurt could. “He and Karofsky have made amends. The rest of the club really hasn’t done much to try and earn his forgiveness. Telling him things happen and then in the same breath telling him that if he had just talked to you things would have been different is not an apology. I am well aware that I screwed up this whole thing. I started it, I acted like a jerk, and the only people who are holding me responsible are Kurt’s friends. That’s why they are his friends.”
“That is exactly why I’m trying to forgive you.” Kurt said with a sad smile.
“I’m trying to deserve it.” Blaine replied, and Kurt leaned back shutting his eyes.
“Finn, you may want to calm down, my dad and your mom will be here soon enough to take you out for dinner.” Kurt said he had made his father promise to take Carole and Finn out for the evening and not worry about him. Puck was coming to stay with him, it was fine.
“I’m not worked up!” Finn snapped and Blaine raised an eyebrow.
“The angry voice begs to differ.” He pointed out and Finn let out an exasperated sigh.
“I thought you were supposed to be on my side.” Finn pouted.
“I told you before; I’m on no one’s side.” Blaine said rolling his eyes, and taking the basin into the bathroom to rinse it out.
“Quinn was on no one’s side, you’re on your own side.” Puck said striding into the room and taking the seat that Karofsky had been in, dragging it up to the side of Kurt’s bed.
“Dude, you should have seen the smack down during glee yesterday.” Puck told him and Finn frowned.
“Puck, that isn’t…” He started to protest.
“Rachel was harping on how we were completely unprepared for Nationals and how she needed some people in the club, meaning you know, Team Kurt, to and I quote ‘get our acts together’ and stop letting outside influences distract us.” Puck went on as if he hadn’t heard.
“Team Kurt?” Blaine echoed sounding amused.
“Yeah, the people who weren’t being self-absorbed pricks before he got sick.” Puck replied, Kurt could try and forgive Blaine, but Puck had no plans to make nice with him anytime soon.
“Ah, ok. Continue.” Blaine said with a nod, and it startled Puck the slightest bit he was being so laid back about his attitude towards him.
“And Santana was really gearing up, you know that thing she does right before she gets super mad, well she was doing that and Artie jumps in before she can get started and really tore Rachel a new one. You should have heard it, it was-“
“Completely out of line.” Finn interrupted frowning and crossing his arms across his chest angrily.
“Actually,” Puck said rolling his eyes. “Artie had a couple good points. Especially when he said that if she was so considered about it maybe she should spend less time complaining and more time being proactive. Maybe you guys could shut the hell up more about what we’re doing and actually live your lives instead of trying to control other people’s lives for a while.”
“Stop,” Kurt said when he saw Finn’s mouth beginning to open. “If you are going to argue, take it outside. I’m tired and don’t want to hear it right now.” Before Finn had a chance to reply, Puck started talking again.
“Anyway, I brought your work like you asked, but seriously I’m pretty sure this would get you a get out of homework free card.” Puck said putting the stack down on the nightstand.
“Probably, but I don’t want to fall behind.” Kurt said, he ran a hand through his hair and when a clump of hair came out he stilled.
“It’s just your hair.” Finn said, trying to smile. “We knew it could happen remember?”
“Yeah,” Kurt said quietly, and Puck frowned.
“It’s just some Kurt, it could just be thinning.” Blaine said in an attempt to cheer him up.
“Maybe,” Kurt said doubtfully. “But it’s probably just falling out. It’s…It’s ok, hair grows back.”
“Well, just wait and see.” Blaine said, and when Carole popped her head into the room, she frowned a little.
“Kurt, are you ok sweetheart?” She asked and when Kurt nodded and attempted to smile she hesitated.
“We don’t have to go out, we can reschedule.” She offered.
“No, no I want you guys to go out. I’m fine, really.” Kurt said with a more genuine smile.
“Ok,” Carole said after a moment of hesitation. “We’ll be back later tonight.” She ushered Finn out and after a few moments Blaine stood as well.
“I should go too; I’ll be back in a couple days. I’ll text or call you first.” Blaine said before taking his leave as well.
“Dude, I know you’re bummed about your hair. We could shave it off first if you like.” Puck offered and Kurt hesitated.
“Sounds like a good idea; I’ll have my dad bring me some bandanas or something. Some hats, things like that.”
“I saw Karofsky in the lobby.” Puck said trying to change the subject for the time being.
“Yeah, Santana called and told him what was going on. He stopped by to visit and see how I was doing. I thought a vein in Finn’s head was going to pop.”
“Well, I’m sure he just can’t wrap that peanut sized mind around the fact you’ll let him but you won’t let his harpy in.” Puck said with a shrug.
“You really should stop calling her a harpy.” Kurt said, but he laughed none the less.
“I’ll stop calling her a harpy when she stops being one.” Puck replied defiantly.
“I received a card from Tina. She had Quinn deliver it; she didn’t want to put Mike in a bad spot I guess. She was very apologetic in the card, but of course it’s kind of hard to tell tone when it comes to writing…”
“Yeah she agreed with a lot of what Artie was saying. I think she and Artie took what you said about not being friends to heart. I’m surprised Aretha hasn’t started poking around. She isn’t saying anything about it really, so either she’s smart enough to keep her opinions to herself, or she’s you know, processing or whatever.”
“I meant what I said, I did mourn the loss of our friendships, but when it came down to it, I didn’t need them like I thought I would. People I didn’t expect stepped up, and the support I needed was there.” Kurt said.
“Well,” Puck said throwing a deck of cards down on the bed between them. “I’m going to win my money back tonight.”
“Puck, we don’t play for money, last time we played for the marshmallow type things in lucky charms.”
“Yeah, well I’m winning that back then.” Puck said before dealing the hand. He knew he would come to regret teaching Kurt poker, and he had. Kurt was good at the game, and Puck wasn’t sure if he was being hustled or not. Still they spent the evening playing poker until Kurt fell asleep. Puck sat next to the bed, resisting the urge to adjust the sheets around Kurt’s chest.
Puck was leery to admit to it, but he was starting to have like, actual feelings for Kurt. Like the kind of feelings he was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to be having. Somehow, Kurt had gone from being his best friend, to something more. Something Puck was afraid to define. Still, he knew that the last thing Kurt needed to be dealing with on top of being sick was Puck’s sudden new found puppy love. So he kept his big mouth shut. He could totally get over it. He was sure of it. Well, maybe.
*********
Kurt only had one more round of Chemo, and while he was thrilled part of him felt nervous that it wouldn’t be enough. He and Puck had shaved the rest of his hair off when it became apparent it wasn’t just thinning out. He had one minor breakdown about it; thankfully the only people in the room at the time had been Quinn and Sam. Quinn had just climbed into the bed with him and let him be upset. Sam had been silent, but afterwards informed him that Kurt would look bitchin bald, it had made him laugh so he supposed that was something. He had almost gotten used to the sight, since it had been a few weeks since they shaved it all off.
He asked to see Tina and Artie both in turn; he wanted to speak to them both. Artie had given him the space he wanted and he hadn’t pushed. More importantly once he got into the hospital room, he just greeted Kurt with a simple hi and after they talked and Kurt really knew Artie had been sincere, he began to forgive him. He didn’t say it out loud, but in his head where it mattered, he forgave Artie, and when he left, he accepted the fist bump Artie offered.
Tina had cried when she saw him. Once she managed to compose herself, she gave him a genuine apology. She had been more surprised that he dealt with so much alone, and she had been angrier with herself for being a bad friend than him, but she took it out on him because it was easier. She then offered him a scarf that she made and even though it tapered off into a triangle at the end, he wore it anyway. At the end of both visits they were added to the list.
He was surprised that on his last day of Chemo, not only did Puck show up, but Karofsky was there too. Santana who was going to be there had to go talk to her Abuela, and Kurt hoped that meant they were going to work things out.
“Hey,” He greeted and Puck threw himself down in a chair while Karofsky threw him a wave.
“Puckerman here said he wouldn’t throw me out on my ass, so I figured I’d keep you company.” Karofsky said and Puck snorted.
“I was more generous than that.” He said and Karofsky rolled his eyes. “You nervous?”
“Yeah, I am.” Kurt admitted. “It might not work and then I’ll have to do this all over again, and I don’t think I can do it.”
“Well, if you have to, you’ll do it. You’re Kurt, if you survived everything I’ve thrown at you, you’ll get through this.” Karofsky said confidently and Kurt smiled wanly.
“Thanks.” Kurt said before taking in a deep breath. “I’m already starting to feel sick.”
“Well, you want me to tell you about the latest debacle that was a glee club meeting?” Puck asked and Kurt nodded, and Karofsky glanced over in interest.
“Well, Rachel found out that Artie and Tina had switched sides and that you even went as far as talking to both of them, she lost her mind.” Puck began. “She accused them of just feeling bad for you and falling for your sad cancer eyes.”
“His what?!” Karofsky demanded, but Kurt snorted out a laugh.
“Sad cancer eyes,” Kurt said. “During a visit once Santana was relating a story about how Finn was talking about my sad cancer eyes, we thought it was funny, it’s kind of an inside joke among Puck, Santana, and I, but Rachel and Finn seem to think it’s an actual thing.”
“Wow, you people are insane.” Karofsky said with a chuckle.
“Well anyway, Tina told her that she was so disgusted with her behavior that she didn’t think she even wanted to be part of a club with her in it anymore. Rachel started to gear up for another lecture, but Artie interrupted then. He pointed out that you talked to them because they were genuinely remorseful for what had happened. They weren’t going to harp on you about a stupid competition; they were going to be there for you. Rachel starts crying and whining how everyone is against her, it was all very dramatic. So of course, Finn tries to give everyone some speech, but Mike of all people stood up and walked out. The rest of Team Kurt followed.”
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Kurt groaned. “The club is falling apart at the seams.”
“Yeah, well when people are shitty, shitty things happen.” Puck said with a shrug. Kurt shook his head but leaned back against the pillows. He wanted to ask Karofsky how he was doing, but he wasn’t sure how appreciated it would be with Puck in the room.
“What else has been going on?” Kurt asked and Puck thought for a moment.
“Well, Karofsky joined Team Kurt,” He offered though that was pretty clear. “And Brittany wants to make t-shirts.” Kurt shook his head a small smile on his face, and settled back to listen as Karofsky and Puck traded off on telling him stories to keep him occupied. When he only threw up twice during the session, he counted it as a victory, even if Puck nearly threw up too. At the end of the evening, Burt showed up, and the pair left. Once they were in the parking lot Karofsky paused by Puck.
“Puckerman,” He said and Puck glanced at him. “I see the way you look at him.” And Puck startled a little. “I blew my chance a long time ago, don’t blow yours.” And with that, he was gone, leaving Puck to contemplate what he had said.
*********
Kurt was released from the hospital two days after his final dose of Chemo. He was told to rest, but he could return part time to school. If another round of Chemo was going to become required they would see about school. Puck, Santana, Artie, and Tina met him at the door.
“Sup,” Artie greeted holding his fist out to bump.
“Hey.” Kurt replied bumping his fist and accepted a hug from Tina, before glancing at the others. “Should I be worried at the lack of glee club members?”
“Nope,” Santana assured him. “Quinn, Sam, and Brittany are taking care of it.”
“That sounds strangely foreboding.” Kurt said with a laugh.
“Yes well, Quinn can be scary when she wants to be.” Puck said, throwing an arm around Kurt and leading him through the halls. Blaine greeted him as he passed, but made no move to join the group. Kurt paused in the doorframe of the rehearsal room and a sad sort of nostalgia overwhelmed him.
“You could always join again, when you’re ready.” Tina said gently and Kurt nodded.
“I did work on a song with Quinn when I felt up to it.” Kurt admitted.
“Well, maybe you could share it.” Mr. Schue said surprising them as he came up behind. He smiled at Kurt but didn’t attempt to touch him. “It’s good to have you back. If you ever want too, you know where the choir room is.” With that, he left, not wanting to push or overstay his welcome. The first bell rang and Kurt separated from most of the others to head to his first class. He almost didn’t even notice that Puck’s arm was still around his shoulders.
Towards the end of Kurt’s day he knew the glee club was going to have a meeting. He had spoken to Quinn who had encouraged him to sing with her if he missed it, and Kurt did miss it. He missed singing, he might not miss the glee club necessarily, but he had missed singing. He was feeling fairly decent for the first time in a long time. Sure he was still a little wiped from what he went through, but he was feeling well enough to sing. So he waited for Quinn to fetch him for their song.
“I’ve been working on this song for a long time.” Quinn said as an introduction. “When Kurt was feeling well enough to work on it, we did.” She motioned him into the room, and Brad actually smiled at him. Kurt couldn’t remember Brad actually smiling at anyone before, let alone him. They handed over the sheet music and when the music started Kurt took a seat on the stool that Quinn had pulled up.
“In this proud land we grew up strong
we were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail
no fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I've changed my face, I've changed my name
but no one wants you when you lose” Kurt sang softly, a little sadly.
“Don't give up
'cos you have friends
don't give up
you're not beaten yet
don't give up
I know you can make it good” Quinn sang and the others weren’t sure if they had ever heard her sound quite so haunting. Kurt picked up the next few verses.
“Though I saw it all around
never thought I could be affected
thought that we'd be the last to go
it is so strange the way things turn
drove the night toward my home
the place that I was born, on the lakeside
as daylight broke, I saw the earth
the trees had burned down to the ground” Quinn reached over and picked up Kurt’s hand before starting her verses.
“Don't give up
you still have us
don't give up
we don't need much of anything
don't give up
'cause somewhere there's a place
where we belong
rest your head
you worry too much
it's going to be alright
when times get rough
you can fall back on us
don't give up
please don't give up…” Kurt interlocked their fingers, looking at the people he once considered to be his friends.
“'Got to walk out of here
I can't take anymore
going to stand on that bridge
keep my eyes down below
whatever may come
and whatever may go
that river's flowing
that river's flowing
moved on to another town
tried hard to settle down
for every job, so many men
so many men no-one needs” Kurt noticed that Tina was crying, and Mercedes was sniffling her eyes a little misty.
“Don't give up
'cause you have friends
don't give up
you're not the only one
don't give up
no reason to be ashamed
don't give up
you still have us
don't give up now
we're proud of who you are
don't give up
you know it's never been easy
don't give up
'cause I believe there's the a place
there's a place where we belong.” Quinn finished softly, and after the music died out the room erupted into noise. Kurt took a moment to look around. Rachel looked someone devastated, and Mercedes was wiping her eyes.
“Damn Hummel.” Puck said shaking his head and Kurt shrugged before getting off his stool.
“Quinn actually introduced me to the song, and it just…you know fit.” Kurt said before gathering his belongings. “Anyway, I’m heading home, but I just wanted to sing, I’ve missed it.”
“Then come back.” Mercedes said softly and Kurt glanced at her. “Come back to the club. We’re sorry, we treated you badly, and when you really needed us we abandoned you. We’re sorry.”
“I can’t right now.” Kurt said softly. “You guys hurt me pretty bad, and I’m not invincible. I’m not stone. You cut me and I bled, and now I’m healing. Maybe one day I’ll come back, but not now.” With that, Kurt took his leave. The rest of the meeting was much more subdued.
*********
When Kurt called to tell Puck that his test results had come in, Puck hurried over. He was not surprised to see Sam, Santana, Quinn, and Brittany there. He was a little surprised to see Mike, Tina, and Artie. He was really surprised to see the Hob-Blaine, there, standing next to Finn.
“So, what did the doctor say?” Finn asked finally and Kurt smiled.
“They think they got it all, it looks like I’m going into remission.” The whoop that Sam let out before darting forward and sweeping Kurt up into a hug that not only took him off his feet slightly, but spun him in a circle made Santana laugh. Santana, Quinn and Brittany descended hugs and kisses to his cheeks. Tina, Mike, and Artie were more subdued, still not quite sure where they stood with him. He accepted the hug from Tina, and the clasp on the shoulder from Mike. He grinned when Artie bumped his hip with the chair.
“I’m glad you’re ok.” Finn said and he sagged a little. “You have no idea, I’m so glad.”
“Me too,” Blaine said softly and smiled in the way that Kurt used to love. Puck finally seemed to be knocked out of his stupor at the news that Kurt in fact, was not going to die, and swooped down, lifting Kurt off his feet in a bone crushing hug. Kurt squawked a little at the feeling of Puck’s arms around him, not preparing to throw him in the trash.
“Go out with me.” Puck murmured into Kurt’s ear and the other boy jerked a little in surprise.
“What?”
“You heard me, go out with me. Uh, Please.” Puck said, putting Kurt down on the ground. Kurt stared at him for a few moments, and Puck decided they should probably talk without the others standing there.
“Be right back!” He announced, before swinging Kurt over his shoulder. Kurt sort of, well, shrieked, but Puck thought it was pretty damn funny. Finn made to follow but Santana held out a hand to stop him.
“Give them a minute.” She demanded, and the others stood awkwardly wondering just what the hell was going on. Once Puck got the other boy away from the others he put him back on the ground and Kurt looked kinda pissed.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Kurt demanded and Puck had to smile.
“I want you to go out with me. You’re getting better, that’s awesome. So go out with me so we can celebrate, I-shit Kurt; I just want to date you.” Kurt was staring at him like he had grown extra appendages. Puck realized this probably was really out of left field for the other boy, but damn it, if Karofsky of all people noticed, Puck figured he probably act before someone like Quinn or Santana did, because they would harp on him until the end of time to do something about it.
“Puck…” He started, but Puck cut back in.
“This isn’t because you were sick, and now you’re not. This is because I’ve gotten to know you, and like you, and then I started to like you in a way that was probably completely inappropriate, and I’m actually going to take advice for once, and I’m not going to blow a chance if I got one, so I’m asking you, please give me a chance, and go out with me.” Kurt studied him for a few moments before nodding.
“Ok.”
“Yeah?” Puck asked a little surprised that Kurt agreed.
“Yeah.” Puck grinned before throwing Kurt back over his shoulder, this time getting a muffled laugh and toting him back to the others.
“Back, now I believe a celebration is in order.”
“Pizza?” Finn suggested and Santana looked to Kurt.
“Sounds fine by me, I’m exhausted.” Kurt replied with a smile. The rest of the evening was spent watching movies and eating pizza. It was the most fun Kurt had had in a long time.
*********
Their first date was somewhat of a disaster. The movie had been completely sold out, their dinner reservations had somehow gotten lost, and it rained. Still, as they stood dripping wet on the front porch of Kurt’s new home, Kurt laughed and said he had fun. So Puck asked for a second date. The second date went smoother. That lead to a third, and before Puck really knew it, he was dating a dude. He was Puckzilla, he was a stud, be his date male or female.
When he told the others, Santana had given him a no duh look, which made him think maybe she had known all along. The others were surprised, but generally accepting and happy for them. Every once in a while, Puck would catch Blaine watching Kurt with some sort of sad regret, but it would eventually pass. The day Kurt decided to rejoin glee, he stood outside the classroom nervously breathing between his teeth.
“I don’t know if I should do this after all.” Kurt admitted. “After everything that’s happened, and what if the cancer comes back? What if-“ Puck cut Kurt off with a gentle nudge on his shoulder.
“You’ll be fine. You got me, you got your friends. Besides, if anyone starts anything, I’ll take care of it, always.” Puck promised and Kurt smiled before nodding.
“Right, you’re right.”
“If you could just remember that, things would be so much easier…” Puck kidded.
“But it happens so rarely,” Kurt replied giggling as Puck took a gentle swipe at him.
“Ready?” Puck asked, holding out his hand, and after a moment, Kurt slid his hand into it.
“Ready.” Hand encased tightly in his own, Puck lead the pair into the choir room. Somehow with everything that had happened, when all was said and done, the two most unlikely people found each other. Puck wasn’t complaining; Kurt was superawesomemegafoxyhot, and more importantly he was his. He planned to keep it that way for as long as Kurt would have him. They could get through the glee club, they could get through the rest of high school, they could get through anything, because they were Puck and they were Kurt, and they loved each other.
In the end, Puck supposed that was all that really mattered.
Pairings: Puck/Kurt, minor Blaine/Kurt in the beginning. Friendships: Kurt/Puck. Kurt/Sam, Kurt/Brittany, Kurt/Santana, Kurt/Quinn.
Characters: Kurt, Puck,
Genre: Angst, AU-ish after Heart
Warnings: Character sickness, angst, jackass glee clubbers, Karofsky?
Author Notes: Thank you to my superawesomemegafoxyhot beta sunflowersdream and to boysinperil for making a awesome fanmix. It's my first bigbang, so I hope you like it!
Word count: 21,186
Summary: During an argument between Blaine and Kurt, Blaine lets it slip what really happened between Kurt and Karofsky. Puck watches as the majority of the glee club turns on Kurt, and decides he wants to find out Kurt's side. He certainly wasn't expecting everything that happened next.
The next time Kurt opened his eyes his Dad was sitting in the chair that Puck had been sitting in, Carole was sitting next to him, and Finn was pouting in the corner. His dad looked worn, and Kurt couldn’t help but feel guilty about that.
“Dad,” He said trying to clear his throat. Both his Dad and Carole shot up at his voice, and Finn jerked a little, surprised at the sound of his voice.
“Hey buddy, how ya feeling?” His dad asked looking relieved to see him awake.
“I’m ok, a little nauseous, could I have some water?” He said and watched as Carole poured him a glass, handing it to him, he sipped it slowly.
“Thank you,” He watched as Finn’s faced settled back into a semi-pout.
“So, Brittany’s mom showed us the list of people approved to visit, are you sure you don’t want to include anyone else?” Burt asked carefully.
“Yeah, like your friends from the glee club.” Finn put in angrily, ignoring the look his mother shot him.
“All my friends from the glee club are on that list.” Kurt replied, leaning his head back a little. Burt nodded, and glanced at Carole.
“Well, why don’t we let you talk to Santana and Sam for a while, she’s been pacing the halls for a while, we’ll go get some coffee.” Burt said and Carole stood, pushing Finn out with them. Moments later, Santana and Sam invaded the room.
“I talked to Brittany and Quinn, they didn’t want to overwhelm you, but the rest of the glee club had the gall not only to show up, but then act all surprised and butt hurt that they weren’t allowed in to see you.” Santana informed him as she hopped up on the foot of his bed.
“I’m not surprised.” Kurt said tiredly.
“So what happened?” Sam asked.
“Ah, well my blood pressure got raised, and I blacked out. I should be ok; they’re going to keep me a couple nights for blood work and observation.” Kurt told them, and when Santana set him with a look he sighed.
“How’d your blood pressure get raised?” Santana asked, and Kurt rubbed the back of his neck.
“That depends, have you spoken to Puck already?” Kurt asked and Sam and Santana exchanged a look.
“Yeah, we have.” Sam said and Kurt smiled a little.
“Then you know the answer.” Kurt replied and Santana looked like she might get off his bed and hunt Finn down.
“You should have seen the others.” Sam said, “They all said they were so worried about you, but for people who claim to be so worried, they sure got pissy when they were told they weren’t allowed to see you.”
“I should have been more specific and said to just call you two.” Kurt said rubbing his head.
“Well considering the task was entrusted to Finn, he would have done whatever he wanted anyway. He apparently told Rachel who called the others, but when they got here, Rachel asked Finn if he was ok, and how scary it must have been for him.” Santana informed him.
“Puck was actually asked to leave the hospital because he caused such a scene losing it on her.” Sam said. “I don’t think he actually left, I think he’s hiding out in the cafeteria.”
“He’s angry; he lost it all over Finn earlier too.” Kurt said, though it felt somewhat like he was making excuses for the other boy.
“Well, he has a right to be. I’m angry too, they can’t treat you the way they have been and they act all surprised when you pull away from them. Rachel didn’t even ask how you were before fawning all over how scary it must have been for Finn. Mike was the only one who actually asked how you were once he got here, and he was the only one who left without protest when they weren’t on the list.” Santana explained, irritating in her voice.
“Of all their supposed apologizes, his was the only one I even half way believed.” Kurt said, and he knew that Mike hadn’t really taken part of ripping him apart. “I might need talk to him once I’m out of the hospital.” He listened as Sam and Santana began telling him about how ridiculous the others had been behaving, and Sam kept up a steady narration as he fell asleep. He barely heard the door close as they left.
Every day that Kurt was in the hospital, Puck, Sam, Santana, Brittany and Quinn came to visit him. Kurt had found out who his real friends actually were, and it made the stay a little bit more bearable.
*********
Kurt stayed in the hospital for two days before being allowed to leave. To his knowledge the glee club showed up both days, and every day acted surprised he hadn’t changed his mind to let them in. Rachel at one point even demanded that she be allowed in to see him, because he didn’t have the right to keep her out. He couldn’t help but laugh when Puck so joyfully told him all about how she was escorted out of the hospital for disrupting other patients.
He returned to school that following Monday, and spent a lot of it trying to hide from the glee club members. Unfortunately, he couldn’t avoid them forever and when Mr. Schue said he needed to talk to him, the last thing he expected was to be ambushed by the rest of the glee club. He turned a betrayed look on his teacher, who looked away guiltily.
“Kurt,” Mercedes began “You’ve been avoiding us, but we, as a group, feel like we should talk.”
“It might have been nice if you had been so willing to talk before.” Kurt replied, and when Puck stepped through the doorway looking furious, the others shifted.
“What the fuck is this?” Puck demanded.
“They want to talk apparently.” Kurt told him flatly.
“Well, you’ve got one minute before I fling Hummel over my shoulder and carry him out of here like a caveman.” Puck said folding his arms across his chest, and ignoring the slightly amused look Tina threw him.
“Look, we just want to talk to you.” Rachel said exasperated. “It shouldn’t be such an ordeal to talk to you. You wouldn’t even let us visit you when you were in the hospital!”
“Why would I want you there?” Kurt asked, and Rachel looked startled, and Kurt found himself growing angry. “None of you except for Mike have given me an apology that was even remotely sincere. Blaine apologized, but honestly Blaine, that felt more like you were trying to make yourself feel better. You wanted an out, and it just happened I was able to provide you with one so you wouldn’t have to be the bad guy by breaking up with me. My being sick gave you a convenient out. You all think that just because I’m sick you can give me some false platitudes and I should just accept it, because what? I couldn’t possibly survive without your so called friendships?”
“I really am sorry for what happened Kurt.” Blaine said softly, but he didn’t argue the point any further.
“We are your friends!” Artie protested, and Kurt actually laughed.
“The only person in this room who is my friend is Puck, and he’s only here because what you were passing by?” Kurt asked sounding angrier than Puck thought was healthy.
“Yup, and Santana is going to go ballistic when she finds out about this.” He agreed.
“Kurt, you’re being unreasonable, we all came to the hospital when we found out you were there.” Rachel argued.
“Who asked you too?” Kurt demanded and she stared at him dumbfounded. “I asked Finn to call Sam and Santana, if he called the rest of you, that’s on him. I certainly didn’t want you there pretending that you were my friends and trying to make yourselves feel better.”
“Kurt, that’s not fair.” Tina said softly, and Puck stiffened.
“Are you people serious? He’s made himself pretty damn clear, how else is he supposed to say to stay the fuck away from him?” Puck demanded.
“This has nothing to do with you Puckerman!” Finn snapped and Kurt straightened up.
“Actually it has nothing to do with you.” Kurt replied and Finn whipped his head around to look at him. “It has nothing to do with any of you. So let’s make this clear, I meant everything I said before, and I am not stupid. I know you are still wrapped up with what happened with Karofsky and really, you just feel guilty that I happened to get sick shortly afterwards. You do not actually feel bad for what you said to me, or how you treated me. Your so called apologizes have made that clear. How you behave now, makes that clear. You feel entitled to know what’s going on in my life, but then turn around and trash me for it later.”
“Kurt,” Mercedes tried to cut in, but he held up a hand to silence her.
“I’ll make this simple, we are not friends.” Kurt said plainly, ignoring the fact that Mercedes and Rachel flinched and that Tina’s eyes were beginning to water. “We were once, and I mourned the loss of our friendships, but we aren’t friends anymore. “
“Kurt, that isn’t fair.” Blaine said softly.
“Hey Hobbit, you don’t have any lines in this play.” Puck snarled, picking up the rather unflattering nickname Santana had for him.
“It might not be fair, but when has fair ever actually mattered? A lot of things aren’t fair, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It’s not fair that when you all found out about Karofsky you weren’t supportive and instead turned on me. It’s not fair that you,” He said pointing at Blaine. “Not only outted everything, but didn’t have to take any of the blame. It’s not fair that I’m sick. None of that is fair, but it happened anyway. So don’t talk to me about fair.”
“I think we’ve had enough for one day.” Puck said snarling, and putting a hand on Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt gave a sharp nod and the pair exited the room, Puck flipping everyone off as he went.
“Giving everyone the finger was a nice touch.” Kurt said dryly and Puck smirked.
“Come on Hummel, I don’t trust them not to give chase. Let’s go find Santana and tell her what happened so we can watch her face turn like seven shades of purple.”
“You have a weird idea of entertainment.” Kurt said good-naturedly but let Puck lead him away, and not a moment too soon because they just turned the corner when they heard Rachel’s shrill voice in the hallway behind them.
*********
Santana had taken up a guard duty with Puck when it came to keeping the others away from Kurt. Puck was big enough to scare most away and Santana was scary enough to keep them at bay. Mike had been the only member of the glee club to actually talk to Kurt and not be chased away. Tina kept giving him these sad looks while Mercedes and Rachel openly stared when he was in the halls. Blaine kept giving him these sad precious moment eyes and Artie had taken to watching him with this calculating look, like he had come to some great epiphany. The only person from the glee club he was forced to deal with was Finn. Puck was more than happy to keep Finn away from him as much as possible at school though. Things went on well enough for a couple of weeks, and while the others might stare and given him sad pathetic looks, his friends kept them at bay.
Kurt hadn’t been feeling particularly well for the past week or so, so he really appreciated the interference. He managed to convince his dad he was well enough for school, and continued on with his days, pretending he wasn’t feeling sicker each day. His chemo dosage had been upped and he assumed his body was just reacting to the chemicals destroying his system.
All was well and good until he found himself in the same restroom as Artie. He thought about leaving, but the sudden violent urge to vomit overcame all other, and he just barely dropped to his knees in the nearest stall before he got sick. He could hear Artie’s chair rolling across the tile and when Kurt was finally done dry heaving, and flushed the toilet twice, he opened the door to find Artie there holding a paper towel and a small bottle of scope.
“We aren’t supposed to have mouthwash on campus, but no one ever asks to check my bag.” Artie said, and after a moment Kurt accepted both.
“Thank you.” He said rinsing his mouth out with water, and then the scope that Artie had offered.
“So, I know you’re pretty angry, and I’ve come to the realization that you have every right to be.” He said and Kurt met his eyes through the mirror. “We were hurt that it felt like you shut us out, but then you really did shut us out. I really took a proper look at the situation, and I think now in hindsight, after the damage has been done, I can see why you wouldn’t consider us your friends anymore. I just wanted to tell you that I really am sorry. You might not be my friend right now, but I’m going to try and make it so you could be again. So I’m going to back off, and if you want to talk to me, you know where to find me ok?”
“Thanks Artie, I appreciate that.” Kurt told him genuinely thankful for that. “Wait, why aren’t we supposed to have mouthwash?”
“Beats the hell out of me man.” Artie said with a laugh before he threw Kurt a wave and rolled out of the room, leaving Kurt standing there hands braced on the sink. He still felt pretty awful and a little lightheaded if he was honest. He stayed like that, breathing through his teeth until the door swung back open and Blaine and Finn walked in. Blaine staggered to a stop in the doorway, but Finn barely glanced at Kurt as he went into one of the stalls.
“Are you ok?” Blaine asked hesitantly. Kurt looked pale and a little gray in his face, and Blaine was no doctor but he was sure that couldn’t be good. When Kurt turned to answer him, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he pitched forward. If it wasn’t for Blaine’s quick reflexes, he would have smashed his face on the ground.
“KURT!” His voice echoed around the room and Finn stuttered a few curses as he tried to finish up in a hurry. “Finn, call an ambulance!” Finn stumbled out of the stall, phone already in hand.
“What the hell happened?!” He demanded frantically pushing buttons on his phone.
“I don’t know, I asked him if he was ok, he looked really pale and gray and then he just passed out!” Blaine said trying to adjust his hold on Kurt as he dangled rather lifelessly from his arms. For a brief terrifying moment, Blaine thought Kurt just died right there, but he could feel him breathing still, and felt foolish for panicking. He managed to adjust his hold and ease them both to the ground. He vaguely heard Finn yelling into his cell phone and when a passing student poked their head into the room, they saw Kurt sprawled out in Blaine’s lap and Finn barking information into his cell phone and disappeared.
Blaine would forever be thankful to that nameless kid when Mr. Schue, Coach Sylvester and Coach Beiste hurried into the room. His arms were suddenly empty and he was pushed back to stand next to Finn as the adults did whatever they could to bring Kurt back around. When the EMT’s finally arrived, Blaine watched as everything went like it was in fast forward, Kurt’s on a stretcher, people were yelling over each other, and suddenly he’s standing there alone, Finn having been ushered alongside the gurney to give whatever medical information he could.
Feeling like he was in a fog, Blaine ended up calling Puck. He called him eight times before the bigger boy finally picked up demanding to know why the fuck he’s calling. Blaine barely stammered out an explanation before Puck hung up on him. Blaine stood there for what feels like an eternity, and he only left when Mike came to retrieve him.
*********
Finn would be lying if he said he had been surprised when Puck showed up. In fact he would have been more surprised if he hadn’t showed up. They weren’t speaking to each other, but Puck was pacing around the small space like a wild animal. Finn wished his mother and Burt were here, but they were in DC, and Finn had to leave a message since neither was answering their cell phones. Blaine had trailed in quietly after Puck, and while he was physically sitting next to Finn, he doubted the other boy was really there. Blaine’s eyes were blank, and Finn thinks he probably freaked out so badly that he’s trying to rationalize it in his head.
Slowly, Santana, Brittany, Sam, Quinn, and Rachel trickled into the room. Rachel plastered herself on Finn’s opposite side, with the other four tried to get Puck to settle down some. After a moment, Santana turned a rather hostile look at the other three.
“I get why Frankenteen is here, but what the hell are the dwarf and hobbit doing here? Shouldn’t you be defending middle earth or something?” She demanded.
“I…I just wanted to make sure he’s ok, he just…he just collapsed, it was so fast.” Blaine murmured and Santana’s harsh glare softened the slightest bit.
“Why do you care,” Rachel snapped back. “We have every right to be here, Kurt might be able to keep us out of his room with his stupid lists, but he can’t keep us from sitting in the waiting room.”
“Mom,” Brittany said suddenly, cutting off Santana’s reply and the rest of the group turned to see a blond woman, obviously Mrs. Peirce.
“Hello kids,” She greeted. “I just spoke with Kurt’s doctor, he’s awake.” Finn began to stand up but she held up a hand to stall him. “He’s asking for Blaine, is he here?”
“I’m Blaine.” He replied, looking startled. She motioned for him to come with her, and he did so barely sparing a glance at the others as he went. He poked his head through the door, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but Kurt didn’t look like someone who was inches from death. He looked pale and tired, but he didn’t look in any immediate danger of dropping dead.
“Hey,” He greeted and Blaine tried to smile, but he wasn’t sure if he managed it. “Thanks for breaking my fall.”
“God Kurt,” Blaine moaned, sinking into a nearby chair. “The last thing I was expecting when I asked if you were ok was for you to prove you were really not ok.”
“Guess I was a little sicker than I thought.” Kurt said with a mild shrug. Blaine wanted to laugh, but he just couldn’t. There were so many things Blaine wanted to say, but he couldn’t seem to vocalize anything that seemed worth saying.
“I miss you.” Was what he ended up blurting out and then continued before Kurt could say anything in response. “I miss us, and you had a point, I blabbed your information to give and I didn’t have to take any of the blame for it. I’m sorry, I know you’re probably sick of hearing it, but I really am sorry about everything.”
“I know Blaine,” Kurt assured him. “I believe you’re sorry, but…I can’t give you anything right now. I can’t absolve your guilt or pretend that everything’s ok. It’s not ok, but maybe one day we could be friends again like we used to be.”
“I’d like that.” Blaine said, because he didn’t really have anything else to say. “Do you think I might be able to visit you? Not in the hospital if you don’t want, but maybe when you’re home?”
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to add your name to the list. I suggest you come visit with Finn though, or Maybe Quinn. I don’t think the others will be particularly accommodating.”
“Whatever you want me to do.” Blaine said managing a little bit more genuine smile. “I should go; I think Puck might start dismantling walls if he doesn’t get to see you right this second.” He stood, and slipped from the room.
“Puck, I think he wants to see you next.” Blaine said, and quickly dodged to the side to avoid being run over by Puck.
“Is he ok?” Finn asked, and Blaine rubbed the back of his neck a little.
“He seems ok, I mean he seems tired and kinda pale, but he didn’t seem like he was in really bad shape or anything.” Blaine replied. “He said I could visit him with you.” He added softly, in hopes that Santana would not overhear.
“Oh, well good. I need someone who’s on my side.” Finn said with a nod.
“I’m not on anyone’s side Finn.” Blaine said with a sigh, but Finn obviously wasn’t listening since he was now turned towards Rachel as she yammered on about how it just wasn’t fair for him to keep the others out. He rolled his eyes and slumped down in his seat, he wouldn’t leave just yet.
*********
When Puck had finally answered the phone and found out what had happened, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared. All he heard was Kurt had passed out and had been taken to the hospital. So he had ditched the rest of his classes and made his way to the hospital. Once he got there it dawned on him he should probably tell the others. He blasted off a text to Santana, and barely noticed when Blaine slinked in behind him.
In the time that had passed, Puck came to think of Kurt as his best friend. He wasn’t sure if the other boy felt the same way, but in the time they’d spent together, Puck found he genuinely liked Kurt. It had gone from thinking the others were being ridiculous to actually enjoying being in the other boys company. So now he was scared, what if he best friend couldn’t win this fight? Then he shook himself because, this was Kurt he was talking about. He ignored Finn and Blaine, and while he had been surprised when Kurt asked for Blaine, he had been far less surprised when Blaine said he was asking for him.
“You gotta stop doing this shit.” He informed Kurt as he flopped down in the chair Blaine had vacated. “Seriously, I’m running out of underwear because you keep ruining them when you scare the shit out of me.”
“I apologize for your lack of underwear.” Kurt replied, and Puck couldn’t help but grin.
“Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t decide to go commando today.” And Kurt can’t help but laugh, shaking his head.
“I’m sorry though, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Hell, I think you scared the hobbit so bad he actually might be trying to invent a time machine so he can go back in time and sew his lips together.” Puck replied and Kurt laughed again.
“I think Blaine is sorry for starting this whole thing with the club.” Kurt admitted, “I’m still angry with him, but I think I could get over it.”
“Yeah, he seemed pretty freaked. I guess anyone would be if they were talking to you one minute, and the next they were trying to keep you from smashing your face on the floor.” Puck replied, he supposed he could feel at least a little bad for the kids scare.
“Yeah it was so surreal. One moment I’m talking to Artie and he’s giving me contraband mouthwash and apologizing and telling me he’ll back off and wait for me to come to him if I want too, the next, Blaine’s there and everything is tunnel visioning.” Kurt said suddenly looking tired.
“Have the doctors said anything?” Puck ventured to ask and Kurt sighed.
“I think they’re going to keep me in the hospital until my chemo is done. My doctor said it would be best, he thinks school might be adding undue stress. Once we get a hold of my parents, I’ll see about having my school work brought to me here I guess.”
“Is that a bad sign?” Puck asked, suddenly feeling sick. “That they’re keeping you here?”
“Eh, maybe? I’m not really sure; it could just be to avoid any extra stress. I admit it’ll be a nice reprieve from the looks from the glee club.”
“Oh yeah, Rachel’s here by the way, I’m sure she’s contacted the others.”
“Only Mike’s been added officially, and I told Blaine he could come with Finn, since he asked if he could visit, and then offered to wait until I was out of the hospital to do it. So the rest of them can show up, but they still won’t be allowed in.”
“Probably best to tell him to visit with Finn, not sure if any of us would be all that keen on having him around.” Puck replied, and Kurt shrugged.
“I don’t expect you guys do forgive anyone just because I happen too, and while there’s still some work to be done, I think eventually I’ll be able to forgive those who try to earn it.” Kurt said.
“But I can still be an ass right?” Puck joked and Kurt smirked a little.
“Like anyone’s ever been able to stop you from being an ass before.” Kurt replied, and Puck grinned before settling back into his seat a little.
“How much do you want to bet that Rachel will have another fit about not being allowed it?” Puck asked and Kurt sighed.
“I don’t know there’s probably a really good chance of it happening. It sucks; I thought we had become such good friends, jokes on me.” He said shaking his head.
“Well hell, you’ve got Santana wrapped around your finger, you snap and she’d probably kill someone for you.” Puck said trying to lighten the mood.
“Well, that’s something.” Kurt said before yawning. “I should tell you, the Chemo is getting kind of bad, I’m sick a lot, I know you kind of have a thing about vomit, so I could have people report back to you if I’m having a particularly vomit filled day.”
“Dude,” Puck said blinking. “I’ll deal with the barf, no problem.”
“If you say so.” Kurt said and Puck snorted.
“You already nearly threw up on my shoes once.” He said and Kurt smirked.
“Yeah, and you nearly threw up on me in return.” Kurt replied and Puck laughed. “I think I’m going to get some rest while I can, it’s only a matter of time before my Dad and Carole get the messages that were left for them.”
“Sure thing, I’ll hang around for a while.” Puck replied, and after Kurt drifted off, he didn’t bother to leave even after Finn joined in him the room, the pair sitting in awkward silence before Finn spoke.
“I do care you know.” Finn said, breaking the silence.
“Whatever lets you sleep at night.” Puck replied shrugging.
“You really don’t have any reason to keep being such a prick.” Finn said annoyance in his voice. “It’s not like we’ve done anything wrong.”
“Finn,” Puck said slowly, drawing the name out and making it sound like an insult. “You are not a bright boy, everyone is aware of this, so I’ll make sure to use real little words. You have done nothing but be wrong since this whole thing began. You and your harpy have done nothing but make backhanded remarks since he quit the club. If you really think you haven’t done anything wrong, you aren’t just dumb; you are a complete and total waste of human space.”
“Like you have any room to talk,” Finn snarled. “You seem to think you’re so much better. You threw him in the trash. You nailed his lawn furniture to his roof, you threw slushies in his face, and you called him horrible names. What makes you so much better?”
“I stopped.” Puck said flatly. “I stopped doing those things, and if you think you never did anything like that to him, then you really are a dumbass. I’m not the one who told him he brought to much attention to himself. I’m not the one who told him that he shouldn’t sing with Sam because it would make other people not want to join the club. I’m not the one who continues to hurt him. None of that was me that was all you. I’m the one who stuck with him. I’m the one who listened to his side and I’m the one who is here by choice.”
“Shut up, you have no idea…”
“Why don’t you both shut up?” Kurt asked tiredly from the bed. “Seriously, am I going to have to separate you like you’re in kindergarten? Because if I chose between you, Finn you are not going to like the outcome.”
“I’m your brother!” Finn protested and Kurt shook his head.
“You’ve been a pretty bad brother lately.” Kurt said flatly and Finn flinched. “You said you really did care, so prove it to me. Stop making things harder, if you really can’t get over this whole thing with Karofsky, then do us both a favor, and don’t visit me. Don’t talk to me, pretend I don’t exist. If you care, then stop making it worse for me.”
“Ok man, just take it easy.” Finn said holding his hands out in a placating manner. “Do you want me to call for the doctor or a nurse?”
“No, I’m alright. I just need to rest, I’m really tired.”
“Rest, I’m going to text Santana and promise her you are in fact still alive.” Puck said and Kurt drifted off before Puck even had his phone out of his pocket. Finn sat silently beside him for a few moments before sighing and rubbing his eyes.
“I’ll be back; I’m going to try my mom again.” He said before he left the room. Puck barely grunted in response and once he was finished with his text, he sat back in his chair and closed his eyes. He might as well get some rest too.
*********
The following week was a bit of a blur for Kurt. Between tests and visits from his friends and the awkward visits with Finn and Blaine and his father having more than one mini freak out, the days blurred into one another. It was Saturday when things took a turn for the weird. Finn and Blaine were sitting with him, making awkward stilted conversation when the door opened slowly and Dave Karofsky poked his head into the room.
“What the hell are you doing here? Get the hell out!” Finn screeched and Blaine flinched at the sound.
“I heard Kurt was sick and I wanted to visit.” Karofsky said simply and ignored Finn completely when Kurt motioned him in.
“Santana called?” Kurt asked and Karofsky nodded setting down a basket of flowers he brought.
“Yeah, thought I’d want to know. How ya feeling?” He asked and Finn sputtered. Kurt almost laughed at the expression on his face.
“I’m alright.” Kurt told him and Karofsky glanced over at the other two.
“Hudson, shut your mouth, you’ll catch fly’s.” Karofsky said and Blaine actually snorted out a laugh.
“So I hear that you got Lopez wrapped around your finger, nice work.” Karofsky said with a wink and Kurt laughed.
“So Puck says.”
“I would have been by sooner, but I wasn’t sure how welcome I’d be.” Karofsky admitted taking a seat.
“You’re more welcome than a lot of people.” Blaine said honestly, and Karofsky raised an eyebrow.
“Long story, I’ll fill you in later.” Kurt answered the unasked question.
“Wait, Wait!” Finn protested. “You won’t let your friends from the glee club in, but you’ll let him in?!”
“I let my friends from the glee club in.” Kurt said simply. “My friends are the people who stood by me and didn’t pretend to be apologetic when I got sick.”
“Sounds like a lot has been happening,” Karofsky said with a frown. Before Kurt could answer he turned very, very pale. Blaine reacted quickly and shoved an empty basin under him, just getting there in time as Kurt heaved. Finn’s nose wrinkled and Karofsky hesitated just for a moment before fetching water from the opposite side of the room.
“Sorry,” Kurt said wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “The chemo is getting rougher.” He took a sip of the water that Karofsky held out to him.
“Don’t apologize, it happens.” Blaine replied and Karofsky nodded.
“Puckerman said he’d be by later, try not to barf, he has a thing about it.” Karofsky teased and Kurt gave a small laugh.
“He told me he could handle it. I have to give him credit, I almost did throw up on him once, and he didn’t throw up himself.”
“That is an accomplishment.” Karofsky said grinning. Kurt smiled weakly in return before sagging against his pillows.
“That’s what three times today? “ Kurt asked, and Blaine nodded. “That’s better than yesterday.”
“You seemed wiped, so I won’t stay. I just wanted to check in on you. You have my cell number, text or call if you need anything.” Karofsky gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before turning to leave. He gave Finn a rather disapproving calculating look before a deep frown etched onto his face and he left the room, pulling his cell phone out as he went.
“That’s bullshit Kurt,” Finn snapped. “You won’t let the others in, but you’ll see him?”
“Why wouldn’t he?” Blaine cut in before Kurt could. “He and Karofsky have made amends. The rest of the club really hasn’t done much to try and earn his forgiveness. Telling him things happen and then in the same breath telling him that if he had just talked to you things would have been different is not an apology. I am well aware that I screwed up this whole thing. I started it, I acted like a jerk, and the only people who are holding me responsible are Kurt’s friends. That’s why they are his friends.”
“That is exactly why I’m trying to forgive you.” Kurt said with a sad smile.
“I’m trying to deserve it.” Blaine replied, and Kurt leaned back shutting his eyes.
“Finn, you may want to calm down, my dad and your mom will be here soon enough to take you out for dinner.” Kurt said he had made his father promise to take Carole and Finn out for the evening and not worry about him. Puck was coming to stay with him, it was fine.
“I’m not worked up!” Finn snapped and Blaine raised an eyebrow.
“The angry voice begs to differ.” He pointed out and Finn let out an exasperated sigh.
“I thought you were supposed to be on my side.” Finn pouted.
“I told you before; I’m on no one’s side.” Blaine said rolling his eyes, and taking the basin into the bathroom to rinse it out.
“Quinn was on no one’s side, you’re on your own side.” Puck said striding into the room and taking the seat that Karofsky had been in, dragging it up to the side of Kurt’s bed.
“Dude, you should have seen the smack down during glee yesterday.” Puck told him and Finn frowned.
“Puck, that isn’t…” He started to protest.
“Rachel was harping on how we were completely unprepared for Nationals and how she needed some people in the club, meaning you know, Team Kurt, to and I quote ‘get our acts together’ and stop letting outside influences distract us.” Puck went on as if he hadn’t heard.
“Team Kurt?” Blaine echoed sounding amused.
“Yeah, the people who weren’t being self-absorbed pricks before he got sick.” Puck replied, Kurt could try and forgive Blaine, but Puck had no plans to make nice with him anytime soon.
“Ah, ok. Continue.” Blaine said with a nod, and it startled Puck the slightest bit he was being so laid back about his attitude towards him.
“And Santana was really gearing up, you know that thing she does right before she gets super mad, well she was doing that and Artie jumps in before she can get started and really tore Rachel a new one. You should have heard it, it was-“
“Completely out of line.” Finn interrupted frowning and crossing his arms across his chest angrily.
“Actually,” Puck said rolling his eyes. “Artie had a couple good points. Especially when he said that if she was so considered about it maybe she should spend less time complaining and more time being proactive. Maybe you guys could shut the hell up more about what we’re doing and actually live your lives instead of trying to control other people’s lives for a while.”
“Stop,” Kurt said when he saw Finn’s mouth beginning to open. “If you are going to argue, take it outside. I’m tired and don’t want to hear it right now.” Before Finn had a chance to reply, Puck started talking again.
“Anyway, I brought your work like you asked, but seriously I’m pretty sure this would get you a get out of homework free card.” Puck said putting the stack down on the nightstand.
“Probably, but I don’t want to fall behind.” Kurt said, he ran a hand through his hair and when a clump of hair came out he stilled.
“It’s just your hair.” Finn said, trying to smile. “We knew it could happen remember?”
“Yeah,” Kurt said quietly, and Puck frowned.
“It’s just some Kurt, it could just be thinning.” Blaine said in an attempt to cheer him up.
“Maybe,” Kurt said doubtfully. “But it’s probably just falling out. It’s…It’s ok, hair grows back.”
“Well, just wait and see.” Blaine said, and when Carole popped her head into the room, she frowned a little.
“Kurt, are you ok sweetheart?” She asked and when Kurt nodded and attempted to smile she hesitated.
“We don’t have to go out, we can reschedule.” She offered.
“No, no I want you guys to go out. I’m fine, really.” Kurt said with a more genuine smile.
“Ok,” Carole said after a moment of hesitation. “We’ll be back later tonight.” She ushered Finn out and after a few moments Blaine stood as well.
“I should go too; I’ll be back in a couple days. I’ll text or call you first.” Blaine said before taking his leave as well.
“Dude, I know you’re bummed about your hair. We could shave it off first if you like.” Puck offered and Kurt hesitated.
“Sounds like a good idea; I’ll have my dad bring me some bandanas or something. Some hats, things like that.”
“I saw Karofsky in the lobby.” Puck said trying to change the subject for the time being.
“Yeah, Santana called and told him what was going on. He stopped by to visit and see how I was doing. I thought a vein in Finn’s head was going to pop.”
“Well, I’m sure he just can’t wrap that peanut sized mind around the fact you’ll let him but you won’t let his harpy in.” Puck said with a shrug.
“You really should stop calling her a harpy.” Kurt said, but he laughed none the less.
“I’ll stop calling her a harpy when she stops being one.” Puck replied defiantly.
“I received a card from Tina. She had Quinn deliver it; she didn’t want to put Mike in a bad spot I guess. She was very apologetic in the card, but of course it’s kind of hard to tell tone when it comes to writing…”
“Yeah she agreed with a lot of what Artie was saying. I think she and Artie took what you said about not being friends to heart. I’m surprised Aretha hasn’t started poking around. She isn’t saying anything about it really, so either she’s smart enough to keep her opinions to herself, or she’s you know, processing or whatever.”
“I meant what I said, I did mourn the loss of our friendships, but when it came down to it, I didn’t need them like I thought I would. People I didn’t expect stepped up, and the support I needed was there.” Kurt said.
“Well,” Puck said throwing a deck of cards down on the bed between them. “I’m going to win my money back tonight.”
“Puck, we don’t play for money, last time we played for the marshmallow type things in lucky charms.”
“Yeah, well I’m winning that back then.” Puck said before dealing the hand. He knew he would come to regret teaching Kurt poker, and he had. Kurt was good at the game, and Puck wasn’t sure if he was being hustled or not. Still they spent the evening playing poker until Kurt fell asleep. Puck sat next to the bed, resisting the urge to adjust the sheets around Kurt’s chest.
Puck was leery to admit to it, but he was starting to have like, actual feelings for Kurt. Like the kind of feelings he was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to be having. Somehow, Kurt had gone from being his best friend, to something more. Something Puck was afraid to define. Still, he knew that the last thing Kurt needed to be dealing with on top of being sick was Puck’s sudden new found puppy love. So he kept his big mouth shut. He could totally get over it. He was sure of it. Well, maybe.
*********
Kurt only had one more round of Chemo, and while he was thrilled part of him felt nervous that it wouldn’t be enough. He and Puck had shaved the rest of his hair off when it became apparent it wasn’t just thinning out. He had one minor breakdown about it; thankfully the only people in the room at the time had been Quinn and Sam. Quinn had just climbed into the bed with him and let him be upset. Sam had been silent, but afterwards informed him that Kurt would look bitchin bald, it had made him laugh so he supposed that was something. He had almost gotten used to the sight, since it had been a few weeks since they shaved it all off.
He asked to see Tina and Artie both in turn; he wanted to speak to them both. Artie had given him the space he wanted and he hadn’t pushed. More importantly once he got into the hospital room, he just greeted Kurt with a simple hi and after they talked and Kurt really knew Artie had been sincere, he began to forgive him. He didn’t say it out loud, but in his head where it mattered, he forgave Artie, and when he left, he accepted the fist bump Artie offered.
Tina had cried when she saw him. Once she managed to compose herself, she gave him a genuine apology. She had been more surprised that he dealt with so much alone, and she had been angrier with herself for being a bad friend than him, but she took it out on him because it was easier. She then offered him a scarf that she made and even though it tapered off into a triangle at the end, he wore it anyway. At the end of both visits they were added to the list.
He was surprised that on his last day of Chemo, not only did Puck show up, but Karofsky was there too. Santana who was going to be there had to go talk to her Abuela, and Kurt hoped that meant they were going to work things out.
“Hey,” He greeted and Puck threw himself down in a chair while Karofsky threw him a wave.
“Puckerman here said he wouldn’t throw me out on my ass, so I figured I’d keep you company.” Karofsky said and Puck snorted.
“I was more generous than that.” He said and Karofsky rolled his eyes. “You nervous?”
“Yeah, I am.” Kurt admitted. “It might not work and then I’ll have to do this all over again, and I don’t think I can do it.”
“Well, if you have to, you’ll do it. You’re Kurt, if you survived everything I’ve thrown at you, you’ll get through this.” Karofsky said confidently and Kurt smiled wanly.
“Thanks.” Kurt said before taking in a deep breath. “I’m already starting to feel sick.”
“Well, you want me to tell you about the latest debacle that was a glee club meeting?” Puck asked and Kurt nodded, and Karofsky glanced over in interest.
“Well, Rachel found out that Artie and Tina had switched sides and that you even went as far as talking to both of them, she lost her mind.” Puck began. “She accused them of just feeling bad for you and falling for your sad cancer eyes.”
“His what?!” Karofsky demanded, but Kurt snorted out a laugh.
“Sad cancer eyes,” Kurt said. “During a visit once Santana was relating a story about how Finn was talking about my sad cancer eyes, we thought it was funny, it’s kind of an inside joke among Puck, Santana, and I, but Rachel and Finn seem to think it’s an actual thing.”
“Wow, you people are insane.” Karofsky said with a chuckle.
“Well anyway, Tina told her that she was so disgusted with her behavior that she didn’t think she even wanted to be part of a club with her in it anymore. Rachel started to gear up for another lecture, but Artie interrupted then. He pointed out that you talked to them because they were genuinely remorseful for what had happened. They weren’t going to harp on you about a stupid competition; they were going to be there for you. Rachel starts crying and whining how everyone is against her, it was all very dramatic. So of course, Finn tries to give everyone some speech, but Mike of all people stood up and walked out. The rest of Team Kurt followed.”
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Kurt groaned. “The club is falling apart at the seams.”
“Yeah, well when people are shitty, shitty things happen.” Puck said with a shrug. Kurt shook his head but leaned back against the pillows. He wanted to ask Karofsky how he was doing, but he wasn’t sure how appreciated it would be with Puck in the room.
“What else has been going on?” Kurt asked and Puck thought for a moment.
“Well, Karofsky joined Team Kurt,” He offered though that was pretty clear. “And Brittany wants to make t-shirts.” Kurt shook his head a small smile on his face, and settled back to listen as Karofsky and Puck traded off on telling him stories to keep him occupied. When he only threw up twice during the session, he counted it as a victory, even if Puck nearly threw up too. At the end of the evening, Burt showed up, and the pair left. Once they were in the parking lot Karofsky paused by Puck.
“Puckerman,” He said and Puck glanced at him. “I see the way you look at him.” And Puck startled a little. “I blew my chance a long time ago, don’t blow yours.” And with that, he was gone, leaving Puck to contemplate what he had said.
*********
Kurt was released from the hospital two days after his final dose of Chemo. He was told to rest, but he could return part time to school. If another round of Chemo was going to become required they would see about school. Puck, Santana, Artie, and Tina met him at the door.
“Sup,” Artie greeted holding his fist out to bump.
“Hey.” Kurt replied bumping his fist and accepted a hug from Tina, before glancing at the others. “Should I be worried at the lack of glee club members?”
“Nope,” Santana assured him. “Quinn, Sam, and Brittany are taking care of it.”
“That sounds strangely foreboding.” Kurt said with a laugh.
“Yes well, Quinn can be scary when she wants to be.” Puck said, throwing an arm around Kurt and leading him through the halls. Blaine greeted him as he passed, but made no move to join the group. Kurt paused in the doorframe of the rehearsal room and a sad sort of nostalgia overwhelmed him.
“You could always join again, when you’re ready.” Tina said gently and Kurt nodded.
“I did work on a song with Quinn when I felt up to it.” Kurt admitted.
“Well, maybe you could share it.” Mr. Schue said surprising them as he came up behind. He smiled at Kurt but didn’t attempt to touch him. “It’s good to have you back. If you ever want too, you know where the choir room is.” With that, he left, not wanting to push or overstay his welcome. The first bell rang and Kurt separated from most of the others to head to his first class. He almost didn’t even notice that Puck’s arm was still around his shoulders.
Towards the end of Kurt’s day he knew the glee club was going to have a meeting. He had spoken to Quinn who had encouraged him to sing with her if he missed it, and Kurt did miss it. He missed singing, he might not miss the glee club necessarily, but he had missed singing. He was feeling fairly decent for the first time in a long time. Sure he was still a little wiped from what he went through, but he was feeling well enough to sing. So he waited for Quinn to fetch him for their song.
“I’ve been working on this song for a long time.” Quinn said as an introduction. “When Kurt was feeling well enough to work on it, we did.” She motioned him into the room, and Brad actually smiled at him. Kurt couldn’t remember Brad actually smiling at anyone before, let alone him. They handed over the sheet music and when the music started Kurt took a seat on the stool that Quinn had pulled up.
“In this proud land we grew up strong
we were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail
no fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I've changed my face, I've changed my name
but no one wants you when you lose” Kurt sang softly, a little sadly.
“Don't give up
'cos you have friends
don't give up
you're not beaten yet
don't give up
I know you can make it good” Quinn sang and the others weren’t sure if they had ever heard her sound quite so haunting. Kurt picked up the next few verses.
“Though I saw it all around
never thought I could be affected
thought that we'd be the last to go
it is so strange the way things turn
drove the night toward my home
the place that I was born, on the lakeside
as daylight broke, I saw the earth
the trees had burned down to the ground” Quinn reached over and picked up Kurt’s hand before starting her verses.
“Don't give up
you still have us
don't give up
we don't need much of anything
don't give up
'cause somewhere there's a place
where we belong
rest your head
you worry too much
it's going to be alright
when times get rough
you can fall back on us
don't give up
please don't give up…” Kurt interlocked their fingers, looking at the people he once considered to be his friends.
“'Got to walk out of here
I can't take anymore
going to stand on that bridge
keep my eyes down below
whatever may come
and whatever may go
that river's flowing
that river's flowing
moved on to another town
tried hard to settle down
for every job, so many men
so many men no-one needs” Kurt noticed that Tina was crying, and Mercedes was sniffling her eyes a little misty.
“Don't give up
'cause you have friends
don't give up
you're not the only one
don't give up
no reason to be ashamed
don't give up
you still have us
don't give up now
we're proud of who you are
don't give up
you know it's never been easy
don't give up
'cause I believe there's the a place
there's a place where we belong.” Quinn finished softly, and after the music died out the room erupted into noise. Kurt took a moment to look around. Rachel looked someone devastated, and Mercedes was wiping her eyes.
“Damn Hummel.” Puck said shaking his head and Kurt shrugged before getting off his stool.
“Quinn actually introduced me to the song, and it just…you know fit.” Kurt said before gathering his belongings. “Anyway, I’m heading home, but I just wanted to sing, I’ve missed it.”
“Then come back.” Mercedes said softly and Kurt glanced at her. “Come back to the club. We’re sorry, we treated you badly, and when you really needed us we abandoned you. We’re sorry.”
“I can’t right now.” Kurt said softly. “You guys hurt me pretty bad, and I’m not invincible. I’m not stone. You cut me and I bled, and now I’m healing. Maybe one day I’ll come back, but not now.” With that, Kurt took his leave. The rest of the meeting was much more subdued.
*********
When Kurt called to tell Puck that his test results had come in, Puck hurried over. He was not surprised to see Sam, Santana, Quinn, and Brittany there. He was a little surprised to see Mike, Tina, and Artie. He was really surprised to see the Hob-Blaine, there, standing next to Finn.
“So, what did the doctor say?” Finn asked finally and Kurt smiled.
“They think they got it all, it looks like I’m going into remission.” The whoop that Sam let out before darting forward and sweeping Kurt up into a hug that not only took him off his feet slightly, but spun him in a circle made Santana laugh. Santana, Quinn and Brittany descended hugs and kisses to his cheeks. Tina, Mike, and Artie were more subdued, still not quite sure where they stood with him. He accepted the hug from Tina, and the clasp on the shoulder from Mike. He grinned when Artie bumped his hip with the chair.
“I’m glad you’re ok.” Finn said and he sagged a little. “You have no idea, I’m so glad.”
“Me too,” Blaine said softly and smiled in the way that Kurt used to love. Puck finally seemed to be knocked out of his stupor at the news that Kurt in fact, was not going to die, and swooped down, lifting Kurt off his feet in a bone crushing hug. Kurt squawked a little at the feeling of Puck’s arms around him, not preparing to throw him in the trash.
“Go out with me.” Puck murmured into Kurt’s ear and the other boy jerked a little in surprise.
“What?”
“You heard me, go out with me. Uh, Please.” Puck said, putting Kurt down on the ground. Kurt stared at him for a few moments, and Puck decided they should probably talk without the others standing there.
“Be right back!” He announced, before swinging Kurt over his shoulder. Kurt sort of, well, shrieked, but Puck thought it was pretty damn funny. Finn made to follow but Santana held out a hand to stop him.
“Give them a minute.” She demanded, and the others stood awkwardly wondering just what the hell was going on. Once Puck got the other boy away from the others he put him back on the ground and Kurt looked kinda pissed.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Kurt demanded and Puck had to smile.
“I want you to go out with me. You’re getting better, that’s awesome. So go out with me so we can celebrate, I-shit Kurt; I just want to date you.” Kurt was staring at him like he had grown extra appendages. Puck realized this probably was really out of left field for the other boy, but damn it, if Karofsky of all people noticed, Puck figured he probably act before someone like Quinn or Santana did, because they would harp on him until the end of time to do something about it.
“Puck…” He started, but Puck cut back in.
“This isn’t because you were sick, and now you’re not. This is because I’ve gotten to know you, and like you, and then I started to like you in a way that was probably completely inappropriate, and I’m actually going to take advice for once, and I’m not going to blow a chance if I got one, so I’m asking you, please give me a chance, and go out with me.” Kurt studied him for a few moments before nodding.
“Ok.”
“Yeah?” Puck asked a little surprised that Kurt agreed.
“Yeah.” Puck grinned before throwing Kurt back over his shoulder, this time getting a muffled laugh and toting him back to the others.
“Back, now I believe a celebration is in order.”
“Pizza?” Finn suggested and Santana looked to Kurt.
“Sounds fine by me, I’m exhausted.” Kurt replied with a smile. The rest of the evening was spent watching movies and eating pizza. It was the most fun Kurt had had in a long time.
*********
Their first date was somewhat of a disaster. The movie had been completely sold out, their dinner reservations had somehow gotten lost, and it rained. Still, as they stood dripping wet on the front porch of Kurt’s new home, Kurt laughed and said he had fun. So Puck asked for a second date. The second date went smoother. That lead to a third, and before Puck really knew it, he was dating a dude. He was Puckzilla, he was a stud, be his date male or female.
When he told the others, Santana had given him a no duh look, which made him think maybe she had known all along. The others were surprised, but generally accepting and happy for them. Every once in a while, Puck would catch Blaine watching Kurt with some sort of sad regret, but it would eventually pass. The day Kurt decided to rejoin glee, he stood outside the classroom nervously breathing between his teeth.
“I don’t know if I should do this after all.” Kurt admitted. “After everything that’s happened, and what if the cancer comes back? What if-“ Puck cut Kurt off with a gentle nudge on his shoulder.
“You’ll be fine. You got me, you got your friends. Besides, if anyone starts anything, I’ll take care of it, always.” Puck promised and Kurt smiled before nodding.
“Right, you’re right.”
“If you could just remember that, things would be so much easier…” Puck kidded.
“But it happens so rarely,” Kurt replied giggling as Puck took a gentle swipe at him.
“Ready?” Puck asked, holding out his hand, and after a moment, Kurt slid his hand into it.
“Ready.” Hand encased tightly in his own, Puck lead the pair into the choir room. Somehow with everything that had happened, when all was said and done, the two most unlikely people found each other. Puck wasn’t complaining; Kurt was superawesomemegafoxyhot, and more importantly he was his. He planned to keep it that way for as long as Kurt would have him. They could get through the glee club, they could get through the rest of high school, they could get through anything, because they were Puck and they were Kurt, and they loved each other.
In the end, Puck supposed that was all that really mattered.