Fic: Understand
Title: Understand
Disclaimer: I don't own em, I if I did glee would probably have to be on a different channel.
Rating: R
Characters: Kurt, Burt, slight Finn and Carole, Santana, and brief mentions of the glee club.
Warnings: Language and violence (mostly implied)
Word count:4436
Summary: Either Kurt's the most understanding person the planet, or he's far to liberal with the word.
A/N: This was done for this prompt for anonymous over at glee_angst-meme. It was filled once already by the awesome Rofro05, but I threw my attempt in there too.
A/N2: Ok so I'm still all sorta drugged up because I'm sick, but I hope you guys like this!
It was Thursday.
Which in and of itself, is nothing particular special, but it was the third Thursday of the month. It was the one day of the entire month that Kurt and his dad did something together. They were currently trying to restore a 69 mustang convertible, and on the third Thursday of every month, the two would clear their schedules to work on it together.
Kurt didn’t enjoy it all that much to be honest, but it was important to his dad, and therefore, it was important to him. It was probably the only time the two had to actually be together and not think about school or work or whether or not someone had tried to smear Kurt across the pavement that day. It was the only time he actually felt close to his dad. That was important to him.
Which is why Kurt couldn’t exactly understand why his dad wasn’t there. He had entered the shop quietly, greeted the few mechanics leaving for the night, and then set about pulling out the tools they would need. After fifteen minutes had passed, he was starting to get worried. Normally his dad would call if he was going to be late. It isn’t until Jimmy, the longest employed mechanic, and his father’s best friend sidles up to him that Kurt finds out the reason.
“I thought you’d be off with your buddies, seeing as your dad was taking his girlfriends kid to that game…” Kurt must have looked stricken, because Jimmy suddenly looks uncomfortable. “Oh shit, you didn’t know?”
“Ah, it’s fine. He probably just left a note or something and I didn’t see it.” Kurt swallows hard around the lump in his throat, and when Jimmy latches a hand around his shoulder, he smiles weakly. “Don’t worry about it Jim, you heading out?”
“Yeah, unless you want some company, maybe a ride home?” Jimmy had known Kurt since he was a baby, since before his momma passed, and he was damn fond of the kid. He frowned a bit reproachfully; surely, Burt hadn’t blown off his own kid to hang out with someone else’s. This has to be a mistake of some sort.
“Nah, I think I’ll just work on it a bit. Have a good night Jim, ok?” Jimmy nodded before slowly leaving the room, part of him aching for the kid inside.
Kurt sighs, but pulled out a few tools and began to tinker around, adjust parts, and make sure nothing was wrong, but his heart wasn’t really in it. His dad had ditched him to take Finn to a game. Really, any other time, he might have felt stung, but gotten over it. But…this was the third Thursday of the month. It was important to them, at least Kurt thought it was. Perhaps, and this made Kurt’s heart sink in his chest a little, it was only important to him, and his father was simply humoring him.
He worked on it for an hour, but his heart just wasn’t in it. So he covered the car and put away the tools before deciding he would just head home. It would take him a while to walk, but it was a nice enough night. Besides it would give him time to clear his head, because the last thing he wanted to do was start in on his dad once he got home.
He tugged his jacket a little closer to him as he switched off the lights and closed everything down. He tried to convince himself it was only one Thursday, that maybe his dad really had just forgotten, that it wouldn’t happen again. The mean little voice in his head, the one that sounds for some reason like Karofsky of all people, is telling him it probably will. His dad found someone he actually had things in common with; of course, he would rather spend time with Finn.
He’s halfway home, and he doesn’t realize he’s being followed until a strong push sends him crashing down onto the sidewalk. His hands grate across the ground and he’s fairly certain their both skinned. He pushes himself upright and turns to face his attackers, but a strong left hook to his face deflects the attempt. He barely manages to keep his balance. He grimaces, and it isn’t until he sees something glinting that he realizes things are about to get a hell of a lot worse.
*****************
When Burt gets home, with Finn and Carole in tow, he calls for Kurt twice before heading downstairs to the basement when he didn’t answer. He figures Kurt might have his earphones in. When he comes back up to the kitchen, he’s frowning.
“What’s wrong?” Carole asks as she swats Finn’s hand away from the fruit bowl.
“He’s not here, he should be home.”
“Well maybe something came up?” Finn asks, and the phone interrupts Burt, he picks it up on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“Burt?” Jimmy’s voice sounds a little tinny over the line.
“Hey Jimmy.”
“Hey, did Kurt make it home?”
“What? Wait, Kurt was at the garage? Why would he…” Burt trails off as he remembers exactly why he would have been there. “Shit.”
“Yeah, I figured you forgot.”
“He’s at the garage then?” Burt says, ignoring the disapproving tone in his friend’s voice.
“Not anymore, I thought I’d swing back around see if he changed his mind about a ride home, it’s kind of a long walk. But everything is put up so I figure he must have taken off already. He’s not home?”
“Shit,” Burt repeats, and Carole gives him a slightly reproachful look while Finn just looks a little amused. “I’ll call you once he’s home Jimmy.” He puts the phone back in the cradle before turning back towards Carole and Finn, who are both watching him at this point.
“What’s going on?” Carole asks and Burt scrubs his hand across his face, feeling absolutely terrible.
“It’s Thursday. I can’t believe I forgot.”
“Ok?” Finn says he wasn’t sure what the big deal was.
“Kurt and I have a project we’re working on; we were supposed to do it today. I forgot all about it.”
“Oh Burt, you didn’t.” Carole says in dismay but he just shakes his head.
“Listen, I’m gonna go swing by and see if he’s still walking home. Could you stay here and wait incase he makes it home before I do?”
“Of course.” Carole tells him.
When forty-five minutes pass and Burt returns with still no sign of Kurt, Carole gently suggests they call the police. Burt argues with the officer on the phone about how he doesn’t give a damn if it hasn’t been twenty four hours yet, no on knows where his damn kid is, and Kurt wouldn‘t just take off, it‘s to dangerous for him to just take off. Either the officer takes pity on Burt or stops trying to persuade him otherwise, because he assures him that he’ll put word out, so if anyone sees him they can bring him home. Finn pulls out his cell phone and begins to call the members of the glee club.
*****************
Santana couldn’t actually remember why she thought a dog was a good pet. He was so damn needy! He was kind of big and strong too, so they just went where he wanted to go. He was pulling desperately at his leash, making whining noises, and finally Santana gave in and let him lead her down the ally.
“Stupid mutt, you’re gonna get me killed.” She muttered. “Come on you stupid-oh god!” She watched in horror as the dog nudged at someone sprawled out across the pavement. She began to panic even more when she realized she recognized the person, those clothes, she’d seen them just earlier that day.
“Kurt.” She demands, as if her voice will just make him get up and be ok. He doesn’t even twitch. Her dog whines again, and before she even knows she’s doing it, Santana is kneeling down next to him. Kurt’s twisted awkwardly on his side, left arm stretched out and he’s laying on the right one, his legs are twisted and until then she thinks perhaps he just got beat up.
Then she sees the blood.
It’s everywhere, all over him, on the ground, someone slashed him up. She’s pressing her hands against him before she even has a chance to think 'ew blood.' She keeps switching up her hands because she doesn’t know just where the deepest wounds are, but he’s bled too much. She rakes her eyes over him, she’s afraid to move him, but she tries to categorize his injuries. His face is bruised, and his side is bleeding, his face, and his neck, that one makes her shudder, his chest and arms. Looks like he fought back at least. She keeps one hand against the bleeding gash on his neck, because that’s the one that scares her. She needs to get him help, right now. She just managed to get her cell phone out with a blood-slicked hand when it goes off.
“What?” She shrieks a little hysterically, not bothering to check the ID.
“Uh, hey Santana, it’s Finn, listen have you see Kurt, his dad is-”
“Oh god, Oh god Finn, he’s bleeding and I can’t get it to stop, and I don’t know what the hell to do!” There’s silence for a few moments before Finn speaks again.
“What do you mean Santana? Who won’t stop bleeding?”
“Kurt, you moron! I was walking my dog and he dragged me into the ally, and I couldn’t just leave him here, but he’s bleeding all over the damn place, I should probably call 911!” and she hangs up before Finn can say anything else. She’ll call him back. She dials with shaking fingers, can’t answer many questions, because no she doesn’t know what happened, and no she has no idea where the fuck they are. All she can really tell them is his name, and to stress that they need to find them.
It takes less than five minutes for the ambulance to arrive. Santana thinks it must be some kind of record. She lets the officers take her dog and she clamors in after Kurt, because they may not have been friends, (even if she did kind of like him) but he did get a blood stain out of her favorite sweater once, she figures she kind of owes him one. Besides, she’s not really such a cold-hearted bitch, she couldn’t leave him alone like that, but she admits that to no one.
*****************
When Burt bursts into the emergency room, somehow he knows exactly who Santana is, because as soon as he’s done screaming at the front desk for information he’s standing in front of her. She’s shaking a little, and her hands are smeared with blood, it’s on her jeans and the sleeves of her sweater, she looks up at him with slightly watery eyes.
“I was just walking my dog.”
“You probably saved my kids life.” He tells her, and she’s crying before she knows it. Later, she’ll blame it on the stress of the situation. Burt has her checked out by a doctor, just in case she’s going into shock. Later, once her parents come to get her, and she’s been given the ok to leave, she refuses to go unless someone calls to tell her about Kurt. Burt promises to, and she leaves, sandwiched between her parents.
Carole and Finn pass them as their leaving, and once they reach Burt, they know there’s no news yet by the way he sinks down into his chair. Carole sits beside him, and takes his hand while Finn sits next to his mother, wondering what the hell happened. While he and Burt were out having a good time, Kurt was lying in an ally somewhere bleeding. That just…wasn’t fair.
When Burt is finally asked for, he’s out of his seat and in motion before the doctor is finished saying his last name. Carole trails behind and Finn hesitates for just a moment before joining them.
“Mr. Hummel, your son is suffering from some blood loss, we’re currently transfusing him some, have the police spoken to you?” And Burt nods his head, because yeah they had called while Kurt had been taken in. “It appears that a switch blade was used. Only one of his wounds was deep enough to cause worry for later complications, and only two others were deep enough that they need to be closed. The rest seem to be superficial, made to bleed and hurt, but not necessarily to injure. Barring any major infections, he should make a full recovery.”
“He won’t scar will he?” Finn suddenly asks, because he’s thinking of Kurt’ unmarred skin, and how devastating it would be to see visible disfigurements.
“It’s hard to say, hopefully not.”
“Can I see him?” Burt asks, and the doctor seems to know better than to keep Burt away for one second longer.
“Yes, but he’s sleeping. We’ve sedated him to let his body catch up with what’s happened. He’ll probably sleep until the morning. We would like to keep him for a few days for observation though.” Burt turns to Carole and Finn, before offering a weak smile.
“You should go home, there’s nothing you can do here, and maybe you could come in the morning?”
“Of course.” Carole says and Finn opens his mouth to protest, Kurt’s his friend, but a look from his mother silences any protests he has. He just sulks the entire way home instead.
When Burt arrives to Kurt’s room, he draws in a deep breath and pushes open the door. For the first moment his brain doesn’t connect that, the person who looks so small and who is covered in gauze, is his son. It’s the white bandage that’s taped to the side of his neck that draws Burt out of his stupor and with a strangled groan; he sinks into the chair by Kurt’s bed, sliding his hand under Kurt’s.
“I’m sorry…god I’m so sorry.” Burt murmurs, over and over, until his voice gives a little, and then he’s just silent.
*****************
The next morning comes, and while Kurt does wake up briefly, he just makes some incoherent pained noises before passing back out. That scared Burt more than anything else, but the doctors assured him he’s so drugged up Kurt probably isn’t aware of much. Carole and Finn come arrive around ten. Kurt sleeps on, but they remain in his room, in a silent vigil. That is until his eyes flicker open, then everyone’s in motion. Kurt blinks a few times to clear his vision, but almost instantly flinches away when Burt and Finn loom up over him, their relieved faces falling slightly at the reaction.
“Give him some space guys.” Carole scolds, pushing Finn back into his chair. Burt takes a step back, and Carole leans over the railing gently trying to guide Kurt’s face to see her. “Hey Kurt,” she coos gently, and it takes a minute before recognition flashes through his eyes. He then searches the room until his eyes land on his dad. “Come on Finn, let’s go get a soda.” Carole says and Finn starts to protest, but his mother is surprisingly strong, and drags him out.
“Hey Buddy.” Burt says gently.
“Dad” It comes out like a wheeze, and Burt’s heart clenches slightly.
“I’m so sorry Kurt.” He offers Kurt a sip of some water, and it soothes his throat a little.
“I’m in the hospital.” Kurt says after a moment, like he isn’t quite sure how he got there. So Burt gently tells him what he knows, that he was found in an alleyway and had been rather diced up.
“But no one knows what happened before that except you kiddo.” Kurt picks at the blanket covering his legs for a moment as he thinks, before his eyes cut to his dad.
“It was Thursday.” Kurt says finally. “You forgot.” The words aren’t accusing like Burt thought they would be, they are just kind of, well, sad.
“I did. And I’m really sorry that I did, that’s important, I can’t believe I forgot it.”
“I’m sure the game was important too.” Kurt tells him, but he’s not looking at Burt anymore. “I mean, you need to bond with Finn, because it’s important that he likes you, you really like Carole. I understand.” Burt’s silent a little to stung to actually formulate words at that moment. He feels incredibly guilty, and before he does get a chance to figure out what exactly to say to make this better, Kurt’s talking again, misunderstanding the silence.
“It really is ok.” Kurt says again, but he’s still not looking at Burt. “I mean, if you don’t want to work on it anymore, that’s fine…or if you don’t want to work on it with me anymore, I’ll understand.” However, he sounds like he might cry, and obviously he doesn’t understand.
“Kurt!” It’s much harsher than Burt intends, and he pretends not to see the little flinch it causes. “Kurt, do you even like working on the car?”
“I don’t see how-”
“Just answer the question.” Burt says, because he’s feeling sick to his stomach, and he thinks he already knows the answer.
“No.” Kurt answers him honestly. “No, I don’t really enjoy it.”
“Then why do it? Why is it important?” And this time, Kurt does look at him, but he looks so incredulously hurt that Burt begins to think maybe he’s pushed a bit too far.
“Why? Because it’s important to you, you like doing it, and I like doing things with you.” Kurt leans back against the pillows and lets out a frustrated sigh, his eyes flickering up to the ceiling. “I don’t know dad, it’s like the one time we don’t have to think about anything else, I can just be the son you wanted, not the one you have.”
“What?” Burt’s voice sounds strangled even to his own ears, and Kurt keeps staring at the ceiling.
“You’re not exactly subtle dad. Oh, I know you love me, and I’m really lucky you’ve accepted me for who I am, but this isn’t what you wanted. You don’t know what to do, and it’s only natural you’d want to spend time with someone you do have things in common with. It’s fine, really, I understand.”
Burt thinks Kurt is being far too liberal with the word understand, because honestly, he doesn’t see how anyone could understand the feeling that their being replaced. He’s staring for a moment, doing a mighty good impression of a fish out of water, before he begins to wonder just what exactly Kurt was on that was letting him be so very forth coming. Normally getting anything out of Kurt was like pulling teeth. It’s refreshing, if not painful, to actually know what his son is thinking.
“No, I don’t think you do.” Burt finally says, but Kurt doesn’t appear to be listening to him.
“I never saw their faces you know.” Burt’s head comes up at that, and he leans forward a little. “After about an hour, I decided I couldn’t work on it anymore, so I cleaned up and started walking home. I probably could have called someone, but it was nice outside, I didn’t really think it would be a big deal. It came from behind, and then every time I tried to look it was avoided. All I know is that there were three of them. I can probably describe their shoes, but nothing that would actually be helpful.” Burt doesn’t have anything to say to that. Nothing he could say will take this away.
So instead, he just stands up and pulls Kurt gently to him, wrapping his arms around him. Kurt hisses for a moment, as one of his cuts stretch slightly, but Burt feels him dig gauze wrapped hands around his shirt, and when he feels wetness, he doesn’t say anything, he just holds on tighter. It’s all he can do.
*****************
Over the next few days, Kurt has a parade of visitors. His friends from the Glee club, even the acquaintances from the glee club swing by. His spirits seem to brighten when they come around, and Burt is just glad that someone can make his son happy, considering he’s been doing a piss poor job of it lately. Kurt had spoken to the police twice, but couldn’t seem to give them anything to go on. Really, he’d just seen flashes of clothing and had an up close and personal viewing of shoes.
Finally, Kurt was given the ok to leave. Carole and Finn had come all smiles and warmth, and Kurt appreciated it, he did. When Carole leans over and gave him a gentle hug and assured him they’d have dinner in a few days, he smiled, when Finn with awkward gentleness put a hand on his shoulder and told him they‘d hang out later, he nodded. It wasn’t until they were gone that the smile falters and falls. When Burt arrives with the wheelchair, Kurt looks at it disdainfully, but puts up no protest as he sinks down into it.
“You ready to go?” Burt asks, and Kurt nods, a little more enthusiastically than before. He hated hospitals, they were awful, and he would be happy to be back home in his basement. “The hospital pharmacy already filled your prescription, so we can go right home, unless you want to stop and get some real food.”
“No thanks, I’m not really hungry.” Burt just nods and pushes him out to the parking lot. Once he’s loaded up in the car, the drive home is quiet. There is a lot Burt wants to say, but he can’t seem to find the words for it. It isn’t until they get home and Kurt’s easing himself out of the car that Burt realizes he has to say something, because this has gone on long enough already.
“Sit down, we need to talk.” He tells him as Kurt starts to head towards his room. He casts a longing look towards the basement door, but sits on the sofa as his father requested. He’s almost amused at how his dad fusses, almost.
“Dad, stop I’m ok.” So Burt backs off and sits in the chair next to the sofa. He hates feeling this way, that he doesn’t know what to say, that he knows he hurts Kurt just as much as other people do, only it probably cuts deeper because it’s him. He sighs before leaning forward in his chair slightly.
“What happened on Thursday,” He starts, and tries to ignore how Kurt tenses up. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am Kurt…that was just a horrible lapse of judgment on my part, and it won’t happen again.”
“It’s ok, I understand it‘s-” Burt cuts him off, because he’s not giving Kurt a chance to retreat.
“No, it’s not ok. I forgot something that was important to you, to us, and I don’t even know how to begin to make that up to you. But you don’t understand Kurt, not really.” Kurt looks at him then, really looks over at his dad, and Burt hurries to speak before Kurt cuts in.
“You were right, I don’t always understand you. I try, but you are so different. So much like your mom. With Finn, it’s easy, because it doesn’t take a lot. But that doesn’t mean I value our time any less. And I’m sorry if I made you think I did.”
“You’re in a new relationship, the first one since mom.” Kurt shifts slightly. “I understand that, and you really like Carole, I totally get it if I need to take a backseat for a while, I just want you to be happy Dad. I can’t think of the last time you were.” Kurt’s crying, though he’s trying to hide it and Burt feels so guilty, so incredibly bad, that he kind of wants to cry too. He doesn’t, instead he moves to the sofa and gently pulls Kurt to him.
“That may have been one of the most ridiculous things you’ve ever said, and you’ve said some pretty ridiculous things.” Burt chides, but it’s gentle and Kurt doesn’t move. “You really think I’m not happy?”
“I think you are now.”
“But not before?”
“Why would you be? Mom was gone; I’m always doing something that’s causing you pain-”
“Stop right there.” Burt cuts in, his voice a little harder than he wants it to be, but he’s feeling a little stung that Kurt really thinks like this, and he feels even worse that he just didn’t figure this out. “You really think that don’t you. You really think that the shit other people pull because you’re just you reflects how I think?”
“Dad-”
“No, no Kurt.” Burt’s arms tighten around his son, and he wishes for the umpteenth time that his wife was here. He’s not good at this, he doesn’t know what to say, how to make this better. Instead, he feels Kurt’s breathing hitch and pulls him closer. He doesn’t know how it got this bad, but he’s going to fix it.
“I don’t care what those assholes think Kurt. I care that it hurts you. It‘s not that I‘m unhappy, I‘m angry on your behalf, for what you go through, and I do know things, even some of the stuff you don‘t tell me because you have some misguided notion I need to be protected.”
“I can handle it dad.” The unspoken, ‘you can’t’ is still heard loud and clear though. “You shouldn’t have to, and I’m sorry that you do.”
“I’m not.” It seems to have been what Kurt needed to hear because a little more weight settles against Burt’s chest.
“I’m sorry I implied-”
“Kurt, just be quiet for a little while.” It’s spoken so fondly though, that Kurt can’t help but smile. So they sit in silence for a while, until Kurt fidgets and pulls away from his dad to sit upright.
“Dad, do you…do you think we could work on the car tomorrow?” and it’s so timidly hopeful that Burt’s heart breaks a little bit more. “I mean…unless you have other plans, you probably do, don’t worry about it-”
“No...That sounds like a really good idea.”
It’s not much really, not considering the amount of ground Burt thinks he has to make up for, but it’s a step in the right direction.
Disclaimer: I don't own em, I if I did glee would probably have to be on a different channel.
Rating: R
Characters: Kurt, Burt, slight Finn and Carole, Santana, and brief mentions of the glee club.
Warnings: Language and violence (mostly implied)
Word count:4436
Summary: Either Kurt's the most understanding person the planet, or he's far to liberal with the word.
A/N: This was done for this prompt for anonymous over at glee_angst-meme. It was filled once already by the awesome Rofro05, but I threw my attempt in there too.
A/N2: Ok so I'm still all sorta drugged up because I'm sick, but I hope you guys like this!
It was Thursday.
Which in and of itself, is nothing particular special, but it was the third Thursday of the month. It was the one day of the entire month that Kurt and his dad did something together. They were currently trying to restore a 69 mustang convertible, and on the third Thursday of every month, the two would clear their schedules to work on it together.
Kurt didn’t enjoy it all that much to be honest, but it was important to his dad, and therefore, it was important to him. It was probably the only time the two had to actually be together and not think about school or work or whether or not someone had tried to smear Kurt across the pavement that day. It was the only time he actually felt close to his dad. That was important to him.
Which is why Kurt couldn’t exactly understand why his dad wasn’t there. He had entered the shop quietly, greeted the few mechanics leaving for the night, and then set about pulling out the tools they would need. After fifteen minutes had passed, he was starting to get worried. Normally his dad would call if he was going to be late. It isn’t until Jimmy, the longest employed mechanic, and his father’s best friend sidles up to him that Kurt finds out the reason.
“I thought you’d be off with your buddies, seeing as your dad was taking his girlfriends kid to that game…” Kurt must have looked stricken, because Jimmy suddenly looks uncomfortable. “Oh shit, you didn’t know?”
“Ah, it’s fine. He probably just left a note or something and I didn’t see it.” Kurt swallows hard around the lump in his throat, and when Jimmy latches a hand around his shoulder, he smiles weakly. “Don’t worry about it Jim, you heading out?”
“Yeah, unless you want some company, maybe a ride home?” Jimmy had known Kurt since he was a baby, since before his momma passed, and he was damn fond of the kid. He frowned a bit reproachfully; surely, Burt hadn’t blown off his own kid to hang out with someone else’s. This has to be a mistake of some sort.
“Nah, I think I’ll just work on it a bit. Have a good night Jim, ok?” Jimmy nodded before slowly leaving the room, part of him aching for the kid inside.
Kurt sighs, but pulled out a few tools and began to tinker around, adjust parts, and make sure nothing was wrong, but his heart wasn’t really in it. His dad had ditched him to take Finn to a game. Really, any other time, he might have felt stung, but gotten over it. But…this was the third Thursday of the month. It was important to them, at least Kurt thought it was. Perhaps, and this made Kurt’s heart sink in his chest a little, it was only important to him, and his father was simply humoring him.
He worked on it for an hour, but his heart just wasn’t in it. So he covered the car and put away the tools before deciding he would just head home. It would take him a while to walk, but it was a nice enough night. Besides it would give him time to clear his head, because the last thing he wanted to do was start in on his dad once he got home.
He tugged his jacket a little closer to him as he switched off the lights and closed everything down. He tried to convince himself it was only one Thursday, that maybe his dad really had just forgotten, that it wouldn’t happen again. The mean little voice in his head, the one that sounds for some reason like Karofsky of all people, is telling him it probably will. His dad found someone he actually had things in common with; of course, he would rather spend time with Finn.
He’s halfway home, and he doesn’t realize he’s being followed until a strong push sends him crashing down onto the sidewalk. His hands grate across the ground and he’s fairly certain their both skinned. He pushes himself upright and turns to face his attackers, but a strong left hook to his face deflects the attempt. He barely manages to keep his balance. He grimaces, and it isn’t until he sees something glinting that he realizes things are about to get a hell of a lot worse.
*****************
When Burt gets home, with Finn and Carole in tow, he calls for Kurt twice before heading downstairs to the basement when he didn’t answer. He figures Kurt might have his earphones in. When he comes back up to the kitchen, he’s frowning.
“What’s wrong?” Carole asks as she swats Finn’s hand away from the fruit bowl.
“He’s not here, he should be home.”
“Well maybe something came up?” Finn asks, and the phone interrupts Burt, he picks it up on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“Burt?” Jimmy’s voice sounds a little tinny over the line.
“Hey Jimmy.”
“Hey, did Kurt make it home?”
“What? Wait, Kurt was at the garage? Why would he…” Burt trails off as he remembers exactly why he would have been there. “Shit.”
“Yeah, I figured you forgot.”
“He’s at the garage then?” Burt says, ignoring the disapproving tone in his friend’s voice.
“Not anymore, I thought I’d swing back around see if he changed his mind about a ride home, it’s kind of a long walk. But everything is put up so I figure he must have taken off already. He’s not home?”
“Shit,” Burt repeats, and Carole gives him a slightly reproachful look while Finn just looks a little amused. “I’ll call you once he’s home Jimmy.” He puts the phone back in the cradle before turning back towards Carole and Finn, who are both watching him at this point.
“What’s going on?” Carole asks and Burt scrubs his hand across his face, feeling absolutely terrible.
“It’s Thursday. I can’t believe I forgot.”
“Ok?” Finn says he wasn’t sure what the big deal was.
“Kurt and I have a project we’re working on; we were supposed to do it today. I forgot all about it.”
“Oh Burt, you didn’t.” Carole says in dismay but he just shakes his head.
“Listen, I’m gonna go swing by and see if he’s still walking home. Could you stay here and wait incase he makes it home before I do?”
“Of course.” Carole tells him.
When forty-five minutes pass and Burt returns with still no sign of Kurt, Carole gently suggests they call the police. Burt argues with the officer on the phone about how he doesn’t give a damn if it hasn’t been twenty four hours yet, no on knows where his damn kid is, and Kurt wouldn‘t just take off, it‘s to dangerous for him to just take off. Either the officer takes pity on Burt or stops trying to persuade him otherwise, because he assures him that he’ll put word out, so if anyone sees him they can bring him home. Finn pulls out his cell phone and begins to call the members of the glee club.
*****************
Santana couldn’t actually remember why she thought a dog was a good pet. He was so damn needy! He was kind of big and strong too, so they just went where he wanted to go. He was pulling desperately at his leash, making whining noises, and finally Santana gave in and let him lead her down the ally.
“Stupid mutt, you’re gonna get me killed.” She muttered. “Come on you stupid-oh god!” She watched in horror as the dog nudged at someone sprawled out across the pavement. She began to panic even more when she realized she recognized the person, those clothes, she’d seen them just earlier that day.
“Kurt.” She demands, as if her voice will just make him get up and be ok. He doesn’t even twitch. Her dog whines again, and before she even knows she’s doing it, Santana is kneeling down next to him. Kurt’s twisted awkwardly on his side, left arm stretched out and he’s laying on the right one, his legs are twisted and until then she thinks perhaps he just got beat up.
Then she sees the blood.
It’s everywhere, all over him, on the ground, someone slashed him up. She’s pressing her hands against him before she even has a chance to think 'ew blood.' She keeps switching up her hands because she doesn’t know just where the deepest wounds are, but he’s bled too much. She rakes her eyes over him, she’s afraid to move him, but she tries to categorize his injuries. His face is bruised, and his side is bleeding, his face, and his neck, that one makes her shudder, his chest and arms. Looks like he fought back at least. She keeps one hand against the bleeding gash on his neck, because that’s the one that scares her. She needs to get him help, right now. She just managed to get her cell phone out with a blood-slicked hand when it goes off.
“What?” She shrieks a little hysterically, not bothering to check the ID.
“Uh, hey Santana, it’s Finn, listen have you see Kurt, his dad is-”
“Oh god, Oh god Finn, he’s bleeding and I can’t get it to stop, and I don’t know what the hell to do!” There’s silence for a few moments before Finn speaks again.
“What do you mean Santana? Who won’t stop bleeding?”
“Kurt, you moron! I was walking my dog and he dragged me into the ally, and I couldn’t just leave him here, but he’s bleeding all over the damn place, I should probably call 911!” and she hangs up before Finn can say anything else. She’ll call him back. She dials with shaking fingers, can’t answer many questions, because no she doesn’t know what happened, and no she has no idea where the fuck they are. All she can really tell them is his name, and to stress that they need to find them.
It takes less than five minutes for the ambulance to arrive. Santana thinks it must be some kind of record. She lets the officers take her dog and she clamors in after Kurt, because they may not have been friends, (even if she did kind of like him) but he did get a blood stain out of her favorite sweater once, she figures she kind of owes him one. Besides, she’s not really such a cold-hearted bitch, she couldn’t leave him alone like that, but she admits that to no one.
*****************
When Burt bursts into the emergency room, somehow he knows exactly who Santana is, because as soon as he’s done screaming at the front desk for information he’s standing in front of her. She’s shaking a little, and her hands are smeared with blood, it’s on her jeans and the sleeves of her sweater, she looks up at him with slightly watery eyes.
“I was just walking my dog.”
“You probably saved my kids life.” He tells her, and she’s crying before she knows it. Later, she’ll blame it on the stress of the situation. Burt has her checked out by a doctor, just in case she’s going into shock. Later, once her parents come to get her, and she’s been given the ok to leave, she refuses to go unless someone calls to tell her about Kurt. Burt promises to, and she leaves, sandwiched between her parents.
Carole and Finn pass them as their leaving, and once they reach Burt, they know there’s no news yet by the way he sinks down into his chair. Carole sits beside him, and takes his hand while Finn sits next to his mother, wondering what the hell happened. While he and Burt were out having a good time, Kurt was lying in an ally somewhere bleeding. That just…wasn’t fair.
When Burt is finally asked for, he’s out of his seat and in motion before the doctor is finished saying his last name. Carole trails behind and Finn hesitates for just a moment before joining them.
“Mr. Hummel, your son is suffering from some blood loss, we’re currently transfusing him some, have the police spoken to you?” And Burt nods his head, because yeah they had called while Kurt had been taken in. “It appears that a switch blade was used. Only one of his wounds was deep enough to cause worry for later complications, and only two others were deep enough that they need to be closed. The rest seem to be superficial, made to bleed and hurt, but not necessarily to injure. Barring any major infections, he should make a full recovery.”
“He won’t scar will he?” Finn suddenly asks, because he’s thinking of Kurt’ unmarred skin, and how devastating it would be to see visible disfigurements.
“It’s hard to say, hopefully not.”
“Can I see him?” Burt asks, and the doctor seems to know better than to keep Burt away for one second longer.
“Yes, but he’s sleeping. We’ve sedated him to let his body catch up with what’s happened. He’ll probably sleep until the morning. We would like to keep him for a few days for observation though.” Burt turns to Carole and Finn, before offering a weak smile.
“You should go home, there’s nothing you can do here, and maybe you could come in the morning?”
“Of course.” Carole says and Finn opens his mouth to protest, Kurt’s his friend, but a look from his mother silences any protests he has. He just sulks the entire way home instead.
When Burt arrives to Kurt’s room, he draws in a deep breath and pushes open the door. For the first moment his brain doesn’t connect that, the person who looks so small and who is covered in gauze, is his son. It’s the white bandage that’s taped to the side of his neck that draws Burt out of his stupor and with a strangled groan; he sinks into the chair by Kurt’s bed, sliding his hand under Kurt’s.
“I’m sorry…god I’m so sorry.” Burt murmurs, over and over, until his voice gives a little, and then he’s just silent.
*****************
The next morning comes, and while Kurt does wake up briefly, he just makes some incoherent pained noises before passing back out. That scared Burt more than anything else, but the doctors assured him he’s so drugged up Kurt probably isn’t aware of much. Carole and Finn come arrive around ten. Kurt sleeps on, but they remain in his room, in a silent vigil. That is until his eyes flicker open, then everyone’s in motion. Kurt blinks a few times to clear his vision, but almost instantly flinches away when Burt and Finn loom up over him, their relieved faces falling slightly at the reaction.
“Give him some space guys.” Carole scolds, pushing Finn back into his chair. Burt takes a step back, and Carole leans over the railing gently trying to guide Kurt’s face to see her. “Hey Kurt,” she coos gently, and it takes a minute before recognition flashes through his eyes. He then searches the room until his eyes land on his dad. “Come on Finn, let’s go get a soda.” Carole says and Finn starts to protest, but his mother is surprisingly strong, and drags him out.
“Hey Buddy.” Burt says gently.
“Dad” It comes out like a wheeze, and Burt’s heart clenches slightly.
“I’m so sorry Kurt.” He offers Kurt a sip of some water, and it soothes his throat a little.
“I’m in the hospital.” Kurt says after a moment, like he isn’t quite sure how he got there. So Burt gently tells him what he knows, that he was found in an alleyway and had been rather diced up.
“But no one knows what happened before that except you kiddo.” Kurt picks at the blanket covering his legs for a moment as he thinks, before his eyes cut to his dad.
“It was Thursday.” Kurt says finally. “You forgot.” The words aren’t accusing like Burt thought they would be, they are just kind of, well, sad.
“I did. And I’m really sorry that I did, that’s important, I can’t believe I forgot it.”
“I’m sure the game was important too.” Kurt tells him, but he’s not looking at Burt anymore. “I mean, you need to bond with Finn, because it’s important that he likes you, you really like Carole. I understand.” Burt’s silent a little to stung to actually formulate words at that moment. He feels incredibly guilty, and before he does get a chance to figure out what exactly to say to make this better, Kurt’s talking again, misunderstanding the silence.
“It really is ok.” Kurt says again, but he’s still not looking at Burt. “I mean, if you don’t want to work on it anymore, that’s fine…or if you don’t want to work on it with me anymore, I’ll understand.” However, he sounds like he might cry, and obviously he doesn’t understand.
“Kurt!” It’s much harsher than Burt intends, and he pretends not to see the little flinch it causes. “Kurt, do you even like working on the car?”
“I don’t see how-”
“Just answer the question.” Burt says, because he’s feeling sick to his stomach, and he thinks he already knows the answer.
“No.” Kurt answers him honestly. “No, I don’t really enjoy it.”
“Then why do it? Why is it important?” And this time, Kurt does look at him, but he looks so incredulously hurt that Burt begins to think maybe he’s pushed a bit too far.
“Why? Because it’s important to you, you like doing it, and I like doing things with you.” Kurt leans back against the pillows and lets out a frustrated sigh, his eyes flickering up to the ceiling. “I don’t know dad, it’s like the one time we don’t have to think about anything else, I can just be the son you wanted, not the one you have.”
“What?” Burt’s voice sounds strangled even to his own ears, and Kurt keeps staring at the ceiling.
“You’re not exactly subtle dad. Oh, I know you love me, and I’m really lucky you’ve accepted me for who I am, but this isn’t what you wanted. You don’t know what to do, and it’s only natural you’d want to spend time with someone you do have things in common with. It’s fine, really, I understand.”
Burt thinks Kurt is being far too liberal with the word understand, because honestly, he doesn’t see how anyone could understand the feeling that their being replaced. He’s staring for a moment, doing a mighty good impression of a fish out of water, before he begins to wonder just what exactly Kurt was on that was letting him be so very forth coming. Normally getting anything out of Kurt was like pulling teeth. It’s refreshing, if not painful, to actually know what his son is thinking.
“No, I don’t think you do.” Burt finally says, but Kurt doesn’t appear to be listening to him.
“I never saw their faces you know.” Burt’s head comes up at that, and he leans forward a little. “After about an hour, I decided I couldn’t work on it anymore, so I cleaned up and started walking home. I probably could have called someone, but it was nice outside, I didn’t really think it would be a big deal. It came from behind, and then every time I tried to look it was avoided. All I know is that there were three of them. I can probably describe their shoes, but nothing that would actually be helpful.” Burt doesn’t have anything to say to that. Nothing he could say will take this away.
So instead, he just stands up and pulls Kurt gently to him, wrapping his arms around him. Kurt hisses for a moment, as one of his cuts stretch slightly, but Burt feels him dig gauze wrapped hands around his shirt, and when he feels wetness, he doesn’t say anything, he just holds on tighter. It’s all he can do.
*****************
Over the next few days, Kurt has a parade of visitors. His friends from the Glee club, even the acquaintances from the glee club swing by. His spirits seem to brighten when they come around, and Burt is just glad that someone can make his son happy, considering he’s been doing a piss poor job of it lately. Kurt had spoken to the police twice, but couldn’t seem to give them anything to go on. Really, he’d just seen flashes of clothing and had an up close and personal viewing of shoes.
Finally, Kurt was given the ok to leave. Carole and Finn had come all smiles and warmth, and Kurt appreciated it, he did. When Carole leans over and gave him a gentle hug and assured him they’d have dinner in a few days, he smiled, when Finn with awkward gentleness put a hand on his shoulder and told him they‘d hang out later, he nodded. It wasn’t until they were gone that the smile falters and falls. When Burt arrives with the wheelchair, Kurt looks at it disdainfully, but puts up no protest as he sinks down into it.
“You ready to go?” Burt asks, and Kurt nods, a little more enthusiastically than before. He hated hospitals, they were awful, and he would be happy to be back home in his basement. “The hospital pharmacy already filled your prescription, so we can go right home, unless you want to stop and get some real food.”
“No thanks, I’m not really hungry.” Burt just nods and pushes him out to the parking lot. Once he’s loaded up in the car, the drive home is quiet. There is a lot Burt wants to say, but he can’t seem to find the words for it. It isn’t until they get home and Kurt’s easing himself out of the car that Burt realizes he has to say something, because this has gone on long enough already.
“Sit down, we need to talk.” He tells him as Kurt starts to head towards his room. He casts a longing look towards the basement door, but sits on the sofa as his father requested. He’s almost amused at how his dad fusses, almost.
“Dad, stop I’m ok.” So Burt backs off and sits in the chair next to the sofa. He hates feeling this way, that he doesn’t know what to say, that he knows he hurts Kurt just as much as other people do, only it probably cuts deeper because it’s him. He sighs before leaning forward in his chair slightly.
“What happened on Thursday,” He starts, and tries to ignore how Kurt tenses up. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am Kurt…that was just a horrible lapse of judgment on my part, and it won’t happen again.”
“It’s ok, I understand it‘s-” Burt cuts him off, because he’s not giving Kurt a chance to retreat.
“No, it’s not ok. I forgot something that was important to you, to us, and I don’t even know how to begin to make that up to you. But you don’t understand Kurt, not really.” Kurt looks at him then, really looks over at his dad, and Burt hurries to speak before Kurt cuts in.
“You were right, I don’t always understand you. I try, but you are so different. So much like your mom. With Finn, it’s easy, because it doesn’t take a lot. But that doesn’t mean I value our time any less. And I’m sorry if I made you think I did.”
“You’re in a new relationship, the first one since mom.” Kurt shifts slightly. “I understand that, and you really like Carole, I totally get it if I need to take a backseat for a while, I just want you to be happy Dad. I can’t think of the last time you were.” Kurt’s crying, though he’s trying to hide it and Burt feels so guilty, so incredibly bad, that he kind of wants to cry too. He doesn’t, instead he moves to the sofa and gently pulls Kurt to him.
“That may have been one of the most ridiculous things you’ve ever said, and you’ve said some pretty ridiculous things.” Burt chides, but it’s gentle and Kurt doesn’t move. “You really think I’m not happy?”
“I think you are now.”
“But not before?”
“Why would you be? Mom was gone; I’m always doing something that’s causing you pain-”
“Stop right there.” Burt cuts in, his voice a little harder than he wants it to be, but he’s feeling a little stung that Kurt really thinks like this, and he feels even worse that he just didn’t figure this out. “You really think that don’t you. You really think that the shit other people pull because you’re just you reflects how I think?”
“Dad-”
“No, no Kurt.” Burt’s arms tighten around his son, and he wishes for the umpteenth time that his wife was here. He’s not good at this, he doesn’t know what to say, how to make this better. Instead, he feels Kurt’s breathing hitch and pulls him closer. He doesn’t know how it got this bad, but he’s going to fix it.
“I don’t care what those assholes think Kurt. I care that it hurts you. It‘s not that I‘m unhappy, I‘m angry on your behalf, for what you go through, and I do know things, even some of the stuff you don‘t tell me because you have some misguided notion I need to be protected.”
“I can handle it dad.” The unspoken, ‘you can’t’ is still heard loud and clear though. “You shouldn’t have to, and I’m sorry that you do.”
“I’m not.” It seems to have been what Kurt needed to hear because a little more weight settles against Burt’s chest.
“I’m sorry I implied-”
“Kurt, just be quiet for a little while.” It’s spoken so fondly though, that Kurt can’t help but smile. So they sit in silence for a while, until Kurt fidgets and pulls away from his dad to sit upright.
“Dad, do you…do you think we could work on the car tomorrow?” and it’s so timidly hopeful that Burt’s heart breaks a little bit more. “I mean…unless you have other plans, you probably do, don’t worry about it-”
“No...That sounds like a really good idea.”
It’s not much really, not considering the amount of ground Burt thinks he has to make up for, but it’s a step in the right direction.