big decisions - postponed!

[totalfantasy]

So last night I was giving myself a bunch of crap for not knowing what the fuck I wanted to do with myself or my future. I kept thinking "You've got all these plans! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THEM! WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH YOUR LIFE?!?!? WHAT IS THE CAREER YOU NEED

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Re: is this mic on? check one, two...

[totalfantasy]

Yeah... right now what I'm sort of kicking myself over is the internship deal. I mean, it went really terribly, but what it comes down to is I could've handled it so much better, because now I can't use it as a reference.

Also, I honestly have no clue if that's what I even want anymore. What I see for myself in the future is a mishmash of all sorts of things, which is frustrating to me. There's no one "career" I want. It's all side gigs put together. Which I suppose can work... I just need to start making it work.

Right now the main priority is getting my school stuff back on track. Once I get some direction with that, then I can start looking into more internships and what not. In the degree plan that I'm already on, there's like three internships I need to do as it is.

There's so much changing for me right now, and I'm struggling trying to balance everything. And then figuring out what to do with the rest of my life? Gah! I feel like if I think about it too much, I'm going to drop the huge stack of books I've got on my head.

One step at a time, I guess.

And I really appreciate your advice, Mary. Thank you.