First Date From Hell
So I met this girl friday night. And we made plans for tonight, that I would pick her up from work - she doesn't drive - and we'd do something. An unspecified something. Intellectually stimulating conversation, a moonlit sushi picnic, carnal pleasures, whatever floats your imaginary boat.
The catch was, apparently - and this was explained to me outside the restaurant she works at - that she's not allowed out after work. So the plan, as had worked so many times before, was for her to /sneak out/ after her parents thought she was asleep. OK, fine, no problem; I park the trusty cop car off to the side of her house and wait patiently.
Five minutes go by.
Does she emerge from the window? No. But DAD comes out the front door with both little Yorkshire terriers, taking them for a late-evening walk.
'Well, fuck,' I say to myself, always one for understatements.
As he rounds the corner, she climbs out the window, gets halfway to my car before realizing her mistake, and runs back into some hedges. Now Daddy is suspicious, both from the noise and the police interceptor parked off to the side of his house. He checks out the car first - thank God for heavily tinted windows - and then moves on to investigate the hedges.
I see him disappear behind the hedges, and the next thing I see is the girl running towards the car. I prepare for a speedy getaway, but it appears she's already been found out:
"I am so grounded."
And then she's back in the house, Daddy is giving me a dirty look, and for shits and giggles I turn on my dashlight and speed away down the empty residential street.
At least the sushi was good?
The catch was, apparently - and this was explained to me outside the restaurant she works at - that she's not allowed out after work. So the plan, as had worked so many times before, was for her to /sneak out/ after her parents thought she was asleep. OK, fine, no problem; I park the trusty cop car off to the side of her house and wait patiently.
Five minutes go by.
Does she emerge from the window? No. But DAD comes out the front door with both little Yorkshire terriers, taking them for a late-evening walk.
'Well, fuck,' I say to myself, always one for understatements.
As he rounds the corner, she climbs out the window, gets halfway to my car before realizing her mistake, and runs back into some hedges. Now Daddy is suspicious, both from the noise and the police interceptor parked off to the side of his house. He checks out the car first - thank God for heavily tinted windows - and then moves on to investigate the hedges.
I see him disappear behind the hedges, and the next thing I see is the girl running towards the car. I prepare for a speedy getaway, but it appears she's already been found out:
"I am so grounded."
And then she's back in the house, Daddy is giving me a dirty look, and for shits and giggles I turn on my dashlight and speed away down the empty residential street.
At least the sushi was good?