(no subject)
i use to have words that just poured out and out and out and then the mist queen would come and let people ride into the mist of the aterfall and everyone wore little ponchos.
but no more.
for some reason.
I don't know if i stopped expressing them.
or stopped having them. the latter scares me far more.
so much of my life for the last 2 years could be summed up with the word repression, but that's something i do to myself. it is my reaction and i can hold no one accountable for it.
well, except me . . . of course.
i long for the words. they were like friends and brothers and jolly grandparents and you get the picture.
we claim to be growing and evolving, but i find myself longing for slivers of my past self. perhaps it's just my tendency towards romanticization. just give everything a nice rosy golden glow and all the world's alright.
it's funny. so much of my life is changing right now. just right on its head, and my computer is broken. i can't watch anime on youtube. i can't play video games. i can't spend ungodly amounts of time crawling the internet. basically, i can't avoid. i can't repress.
i have to confront all these feelings.
i found some canvases yesterday. i had forgotten that i had them.
i think it's time to decorate them. time to get some words out.
but no more.
for some reason.
I don't know if i stopped expressing them.
or stopped having them. the latter scares me far more.
so much of my life for the last 2 years could be summed up with the word repression, but that's something i do to myself. it is my reaction and i can hold no one accountable for it.
well, except me . . . of course.
i long for the words. they were like friends and brothers and jolly grandparents and you get the picture.
we claim to be growing and evolving, but i find myself longing for slivers of my past self. perhaps it's just my tendency towards romanticization. just give everything a nice rosy golden glow and all the world's alright.
it's funny. so much of my life is changing right now. just right on its head, and my computer is broken. i can't watch anime on youtube. i can't play video games. i can't spend ungodly amounts of time crawling the internet. basically, i can't avoid. i can't repress.
i have to confront all these feelings.
i found some canvases yesterday. i had forgotten that i had them.
i think it's time to decorate them. time to get some words out.