(no subject)
So I guess I am kind of figuring some things out. Its funny what one question can do to you. Melissa asked me why, simply why do I do that, what am I doing when _____ happens. this ____ is when I react badly to a male getting angry, hitting, or yelling at me. Well I guess I've kind of realized that it happens when I'm mad at myself. When somethings going wrong with me/myself, then I get freaked out by them. I guess its kind of like that punishment for bad behavior. If that makes sense. I don't know, honestly, if I really care. I feel as if I deserve it. I am throughly mad at myself right now, I broke a rule and didn't care. I honestly didn't think about it. All it was was being alone with a guy. I was going to watch a movie with a couple people and all of them bailed but one guy. So there we where, it didn't matter, I mean hes like a brother but by mission its wrong. Its frustrating but its true. God called me here and I have to abide by their rules. Anyway, I'm feeling really mad at myself right now because I just ignored the rule until someone came in and brought it up. I decided to leave and came over here to go online. Sitting here Erich came over and hit me over the head I had a small shock in my body and then was like... yeah... I deserved it. I don't know, I'm upset right now so I'm probably just over exaggerating this whole thing. So... I'm going to shut up, the main point is me... feel bad... react badly...
Thats it...
I love you all
Muah! ~Teri
Simple solution
Thats it...
I love you all
Muah! ~Teri
Simple solution