(no subject)
you know what? ive just noticed something, and it really upset me. im bored, so naturally i found myself contemplating total crap and depressing myself YET AGAIN for no apparent reason. the thing i noticed is that i still feel like everyone hates me. it creeped back into me brain again when i randomly read j's faceparty profile, then a few other close friends, and i realized that i don't exist so much to them. i'm not mentioned anywhere. its like i'm not really here.
and juli, i know if your reading this (which you won't be) we had that whole chat on why i feel so damn ignored and we decided to turn over a new leaf, but i still feel really unnecessary. and i feel like i'm forcing myself into your lives. every time i want to do something or go somewhere with someone, it feels like i have to make you go.
and when you do invite me places i feel like i shouldn't be there and you just want me to leave you alone.
i know i'm a hard person to get along with and i can be incredibly bitchy sometimes but...am i really that bad?
for fucks sake..
and juli, i know if your reading this (which you won't be) we had that whole chat on why i feel so damn ignored and we decided to turn over a new leaf, but i still feel really unnecessary. and i feel like i'm forcing myself into your lives. every time i want to do something or go somewhere with someone, it feels like i have to make you go.
and when you do invite me places i feel like i shouldn't be there and you just want me to leave you alone.
i know i'm a hard person to get along with and i can be incredibly bitchy sometimes but...am i really that bad?
for fucks sake..