(no subject)
mend this porcelain heart.
i once was fragile, like a china person in dorothy's dream. i was taken care of with gentle, loving hands. but i was held too tightly, and i crumpled under the pressure. i'm irreplaceable. gluing these pieces together does not complete. the cracks and fractures will show, will remain. and like all other products of the hands that made me, i am unique and can not simply have another to take my place. who am i?
i was taken up in a cyclone. plopped me in the middle of a foreign land. left all the comforts of home, let me have no choice in where i go. you tried to control which path i take. it won't work.
i wandered through dark and scary forests, perception distorted, green spectacles that i was forced into wearing, keeping the key to the lock only until i realize i see a lie. a twisted, horrible, utterly inhumane lie.
then you came. you seemed so strong. you held me tight. you led me. but then i realized that you were the one that brought me to this place. you led me. my poor heart could only follow. and then it was pierced by one sharp spear that you sent into the air, rained down on me. and that one crack created veins that broke into a thousand million pieces.
my eyes, my deceiving eyes, still saw nothing but care in yours. but my mind, my gullible self, told me it was wrong. i didn't know. i couldn't tell.
through the long night. what happened. i was left here, alone laying on the brick ground. what more is there to say? who will take my broken self? i have given up hope.
i waited forty hours without moving.
now, hands come as my eyes shut to sleep, lift me up off the floor. no glue, no puzzle. simply mold me into something new. not the same as before, better. those hands, they have no harsh touch. just a warm glow, a comfort in itself. a dove flies overhead to bring me the good news.
i peer into a looking glass, lo and behold! i am better than before. reinforced and made like new. i am reborn. i am renewed.
the hands lift up my glass chin. cry no more, they said to me, you shall survive.
a single crystal tear streams down my face, leaving a shiny trickly trace. i do not sob, i do not cry. i have hope, i say. and that is all i ever needed.
the hands reply, you have more than hope. you are made anew. you have a destiny, if only you'll come with me. i will take you to fields of gold, and you've only but to trust in me.
cautiously, apprehensively, i reply that i am still hurt and still feel broken, though my appearance shows no sign. i hang my head low to see my palms, shaky and quivering, the left clutching the right, and the right clamping the left.
you have no need to fear, for all that has hurt you in the past is simply that. your future is ahead. you only need to head in that direction without straying from that narrow path, and you will be set free from all which you have endured before.
and i take one cautious step with my newly built legs. and one more. and soon, realizing that they do not crumble, i begin to walk, with each step raising my head higher to the sky and confidence building.
now i walk. i have no more fears. no more. i surrender to the way. the smile that i thought would never reappear on my face grows. there is a new way for me to go. and i shall hurt no more.