the curse of the $5 taco
ok kids, gather round and hear a tale...a tale of a fateful trip. To taco bell. For a $5 taco.
This terrifying tale begins as Lisa and I were, being the awesome super cool kids we are, playing Dungeons and Dragons with Daniel, Lacy, Jake, and Sam. I was looking through my pockets to see how much money I had, and I found a $5 bill.
"Awesome!" I said, "I have five dollars. I'm going to buy a five dollar taco."
"Where are you going to get a five dollar taco?" inquired daniel, still obviously stoked at having slain an orc.
"I'm going to go to taco bell and just ask the to keep adding stuff to a taco until it costs five dollars." I said, my brilliant comic timing amplified by the confidence boost I received after rolling a 19 and executing a totally metal critical hit on a fire demon.
"laugh laugh" everyone said.
Anyway, having managed to hang out at daniel's house without getting sick on bourbon, lisa and I drove home. I jokingly suggested that we get a taco. At that moment, the thunder rolled, the lightning struck, a restless taco mad demon laughed, and the curse of the $5 taco grabbed hold of Lisa's car. We coasted into the taco bell parking lot and walked home down may avenue, past such neighborhood anchors as Smoke-4-Less, the liquor store with the senior citizen's discount, and the Bali-Hai Lounge, which actually didn't look nearly as seedy on the inside as I had imagined it while driving by during the day. Despite that dissapointment, we got home safely and resolved to deal with it the next day.
So yesterday we went and got a new battery for her car, but little did we know that the taco curse had spread into the very heart of her car, killing her alternator, causing her crank shaft to leak, bursting the universal magma calibrators (lisa owns the world's first geothermal hybrid car), and throwing the flux capacitor way out of whack. (If you were to take the flux capacitor out of her nissan and put it in a delorian at this point, it wouldn't send you back in time, but rather make you do a bunch of coke and go to jail.)
Anyway, lisa's car ended up breaking down AGAIN on I-44 as we were driving home from doing mothers day stuff, so we called my dad and he came and picked us up. My dad proved once again to be the alpha nerd by talking about an early word processor he worked on that required you to enter HTML type tags for everything you typed, and explaining in detail how he's set up his unix box to automatically tape shows off of NPR, compress them to MP3, and upload them to the internet so that he can burn them onto a CDRW and listen to them on his MP3CD player in his car. (All of this to avoid paying for http://www.audible.com) Anyway, it looks like everything will be ok, but that fucking taco curse made me miss the Rilo Kiley show tonight, which I really wanted to go to. So fuck you, five dollar taco. You better not make me miss Of Montreal.
This terrifying tale begins as Lisa and I were, being the awesome super cool kids we are, playing Dungeons and Dragons with Daniel, Lacy, Jake, and Sam. I was looking through my pockets to see how much money I had, and I found a $5 bill.
"Awesome!" I said, "I have five dollars. I'm going to buy a five dollar taco."
"Where are you going to get a five dollar taco?" inquired daniel, still obviously stoked at having slain an orc.
"I'm going to go to taco bell and just ask the to keep adding stuff to a taco until it costs five dollars." I said, my brilliant comic timing amplified by the confidence boost I received after rolling a 19 and executing a totally metal critical hit on a fire demon.
"laugh laugh" everyone said.
Anyway, having managed to hang out at daniel's house without getting sick on bourbon, lisa and I drove home. I jokingly suggested that we get a taco. At that moment, the thunder rolled, the lightning struck, a restless taco mad demon laughed, and the curse of the $5 taco grabbed hold of Lisa's car. We coasted into the taco bell parking lot and walked home down may avenue, past such neighborhood anchors as Smoke-4-Less, the liquor store with the senior citizen's discount, and the Bali-Hai Lounge, which actually didn't look nearly as seedy on the inside as I had imagined it while driving by during the day. Despite that dissapointment, we got home safely and resolved to deal with it the next day.
So yesterday we went and got a new battery for her car, but little did we know that the taco curse had spread into the very heart of her car, killing her alternator, causing her crank shaft to leak, bursting the universal magma calibrators (lisa owns the world's first geothermal hybrid car), and throwing the flux capacitor way out of whack. (If you were to take the flux capacitor out of her nissan and put it in a delorian at this point, it wouldn't send you back in time, but rather make you do a bunch of coke and go to jail.)
Anyway, lisa's car ended up breaking down AGAIN on I-44 as we were driving home from doing mothers day stuff, so we called my dad and he came and picked us up. My dad proved once again to be the alpha nerd by talking about an early word processor he worked on that required you to enter HTML type tags for everything you typed, and explaining in detail how he's set up his unix box to automatically tape shows off of NPR, compress them to MP3, and upload them to the internet so that he can burn them onto a CDRW and listen to them on his MP3CD player in his car. (All of this to avoid paying for http://www.audible.com) Anyway, it looks like everything will be ok, but that fucking taco curse made me miss the Rilo Kiley show tonight, which I really wanted to go to. So fuck you, five dollar taco. You better not make me miss Of Montreal.