(no subject)
Do you know that I can't breathe when I read your words? They release chemicals in my brain, and the chemicals feel like water in my lungs. I'm sitting here trying to learn German and gasping for air.
I read them because they are my only connection to you now. I check everyday, half-hoping there won't be any news because it inevitably knocks the wind out me, sticks to my ribs for days and days. But I have to check. I have to.
Do you know how this love feels now? It's more like a sickness, hot like too much Tequila. Yesterday, she went through my phone while I was at class and found an old text message I sent you. She got upset, and when I asked why, she said "I just want you to say that to me."
But, I will never love you like that, I thought.
It's only for you. I don't give a shit how horrible I've been. I love you. I love you. I love you.
I read them because they are my only connection to you now. I check everyday, half-hoping there won't be any news because it inevitably knocks the wind out me, sticks to my ribs for days and days. But I have to check. I have to.
Do you know how this love feels now? It's more like a sickness, hot like too much Tequila. Yesterday, she went through my phone while I was at class and found an old text message I sent you. She got upset, and when I asked why, she said "I just want you to say that to me."
But, I will never love you like that, I thought.
It's only for you. I don't give a shit how horrible I've been. I love you. I love you. I love you.