it can't just be the trans community that gets all this wankfodder
I'll just be leaving this and this here...
Hello, flist. Today is my "Guess what? I'm trans!" day. Yesterday was too, what with RP!S's wanksplosion over the character Grell and how she's a transwoman who hasn't been respected by the people who play her enough to use the proper pronouns when referring to her in the third person. I gave my two cents about it in a few places, and overall after reading all this shit I'm just ready to say THAT'S IT I'M DONE.
There's so much shit being thrown around and wank within the trans community about these sorts of things. I will admit that these posts are old, but I've just found them all today so it's a little overwhelming to take in all at once.
The problem is: as much as I agree with one side or another on these matters (and for the record, I think: objectifying doesn't do any good and is only acceptable with the other person's consent, that BINGO board is oh so very true - as is Tumblr's own Privilege Denying Dude - and is a good way to vent frustration and transform it into potential humor, Grell is a transwoman and should be referred to with feminine pronouns period, no exceptions, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT SHE IDENTIFIES AS A WOMAN JFC, 'bio' is offensive and incorrect when used interchangeably with 'cis' or 'non trans'), I feel like without some sort of compromise in the communication there won't be any progress. If people just say 'you're wrong, you're not listening, you're obviously wrong', no matter what side you're on, nothing will come of it. Explanation - polite explanation, especially - works.
Back when I was new to the world of LJ and the online trans communities therein, there was a post made by a transwoman proclaiming her anger at transmen who use the word 'tranny' by reclaiming it as their own. I responded to it (and if you scroll down you can read what happened) and was confused by it until it was restated in a calmer manner. Even at that point, I still wasn't entirely sure of the reasoning behind it, but I had accepted that I just shouldn't use the word or try to reclaim it in any way. Now that it's been a while since then, I have a much fuller understanding of why my reclaiming the word is not appropriate and I fully support the people who have strong, personal feelings about this. However, I distinctly remember being unable to understand why it was so offensive to these women until I had it reiterated for me in a different way. Even though then I was still a little fuzzy on the why, I had enough sense to recognize that hey, I don't have to use this word, in fact I've used it very sparingly in the past and could easily go without it. My not using a word is a small price to pay and it shows that I respect these people, which is really what they're after: respect and acknowledgment.
I didn't have to do that, but I wanted to. What's really important to me is for other people to know that I respect them, even if they're not being very nice and not respecting me. I get so tired of wank because it's all a bunch of not listening to each other, disrespect, and nothing good ever comes from it. The subjects that are wanked about, though, I think they need to be talked about. It's good for them to come up and be shed light on so people can at least have the opportunity to talk about these things and try to gain an understanding of these important societal issues.
If anyone has any questions, doesn't understand something, wants to talk to me about anything, I welcome you to ask. When I first realized who I was I was so eager to discuss these things with people because I thought all they needed was to be educated and then everything would be solved and we could all live happily. I thought, because I previously thought this way for fifteen years of my life and discovered I was wrong all along, if I educated other people about these issues they'd realize the same thing. Of course, I was young and naive and still believed that these things could be resolved relatively quickly and didn't take into account that the only reason I shifted my way of thinking so dramatically was because I had to in order to be happy and at peace with who I am.
Now that I realize these things, I'm still open to discussion and being patient with people. I want to help educate and teach people about other perspectives and above all, simple respect for your fellow human being. It's taken me two years to fully align with myself (as in, change my thinking and my way of looking at myself to be supportive of who I am instead of self-detrimental) and I know I've had a lot of help along the way. I'll be the first to say I don't have all the answers, and I want to acknowledge that each person has their own personal truth. I'm not in any way an expert, just a member of the community, and from that perspective I'm certainly willing to help you gain a better understanding of these issues if you want one.
Significant edit of hope and love: I've only read a few of the articles on this blog, but so far I love it and I'm going to read more. I like it, and find it very refreshing as a transman who has yet to begin any sort of hormone therapy or undergo surgeries associated with physical transition.
Hello, flist. Today is my "Guess what? I'm trans!" day. Yesterday was too, what with RP!S's wanksplosion over the character Grell and how she's a transwoman who hasn't been respected by the people who play her enough to use the proper pronouns when referring to her in the third person. I gave my two cents about it in a few places, and overall after reading all this shit I'm just ready to say THAT'S IT I'M DONE.
There's so much shit being thrown around and wank within the trans community about these sorts of things. I will admit that these posts are old, but I've just found them all today so it's a little overwhelming to take in all at once.
The problem is: as much as I agree with one side or another on these matters (and for the record, I think: objectifying doesn't do any good and is only acceptable with the other person's consent, that BINGO board is oh so very true - as is Tumblr's own Privilege Denying Dude - and is a good way to vent frustration and transform it into potential humor, Grell is a transwoman and should be referred to with feminine pronouns period, no exceptions, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT SHE IDENTIFIES AS A WOMAN JFC, 'bio' is offensive and incorrect when used interchangeably with 'cis' or 'non trans'), I feel like without some sort of compromise in the communication there won't be any progress. If people just say 'you're wrong, you're not listening, you're obviously wrong', no matter what side you're on, nothing will come of it. Explanation - polite explanation, especially - works.
Back when I was new to the world of LJ and the online trans communities therein, there was a post made by a transwoman proclaiming her anger at transmen who use the word 'tranny' by reclaiming it as their own. I responded to it (and if you scroll down you can read what happened) and was confused by it until it was restated in a calmer manner. Even at that point, I still wasn't entirely sure of the reasoning behind it, but I had accepted that I just shouldn't use the word or try to reclaim it in any way. Now that it's been a while since then, I have a much fuller understanding of why my reclaiming the word is not appropriate and I fully support the people who have strong, personal feelings about this. However, I distinctly remember being unable to understand why it was so offensive to these women until I had it reiterated for me in a different way. Even though then I was still a little fuzzy on the why, I had enough sense to recognize that hey, I don't have to use this word, in fact I've used it very sparingly in the past and could easily go without it. My not using a word is a small price to pay and it shows that I respect these people, which is really what they're after: respect and acknowledgment.
I didn't have to do that, but I wanted to. What's really important to me is for other people to know that I respect them, even if they're not being very nice and not respecting me. I get so tired of wank because it's all a bunch of not listening to each other, disrespect, and nothing good ever comes from it. The subjects that are wanked about, though, I think they need to be talked about. It's good for them to come up and be shed light on so people can at least have the opportunity to talk about these things and try to gain an understanding of these important societal issues.
If anyone has any questions, doesn't understand something, wants to talk to me about anything, I welcome you to ask. When I first realized who I was I was so eager to discuss these things with people because I thought all they needed was to be educated and then everything would be solved and we could all live happily. I thought, because I previously thought this way for fifteen years of my life and discovered I was wrong all along, if I educated other people about these issues they'd realize the same thing. Of course, I was young and naive and still believed that these things could be resolved relatively quickly and didn't take into account that the only reason I shifted my way of thinking so dramatically was because I had to in order to be happy and at peace with who I am.
Now that I realize these things, I'm still open to discussion and being patient with people. I want to help educate and teach people about other perspectives and above all, simple respect for your fellow human being. It's taken me two years to fully align with myself (as in, change my thinking and my way of looking at myself to be supportive of who I am instead of self-detrimental) and I know I've had a lot of help along the way. I'll be the first to say I don't have all the answers, and I want to acknowledge that each person has their own personal truth. I'm not in any way an expert, just a member of the community, and from that perspective I'm certainly willing to help you gain a better understanding of these issues if you want one.
Significant edit of hope and love: I've only read a few of the articles on this blog, but so far I love it and I'm going to read more. I like it, and find it very refreshing as a transman who has yet to begin any sort of hormone therapy or undergo surgeries associated with physical transition.