(no subject)
I suck at updating. But fuck. Who really reads this? Who's interested in this bullshit. I'm sick of being a fucking moron dammit. I'm sleep deprived. Very. It could be all the ritalin I took to try and make myself not depressed. Yea that worked for a bit. Then I went BOOM... and now all that's left are the after effects which are making me sleep deprived. FUCK I feel awake. Like very. Not really all that tired at all. Dammit. My throat is gonna hurt so bad. FUCK FUCK. I'm insane I'm pretty sure. And I'm a bitch. And I'm just a horrible person in general and the public should be kept away from me. Then I wouldn't cause so many people problems dammit. I don't wanna hear OMG SUSIE YOU SHOULDN'T DO DRUGS. Cuz I'm aware of that. And I didn't really.. just took more than the prescribed amount for myself. And I don't really plan to do that again. I was just sick of feeling depressed at that particular moment so I was like eff this I'm taking some goddamn pills. So just don't. I don't even know what to write. I'm not nice. I need to learn to deal with people's feelings better. That much has become obvious. Perhaps the fact that so few people have ever considered mine that might have something to do with it I have no idea... I don't do it on purpose really... it just happens and then I'm like fuck.. I could've handled that one better... but the damage is done. It's a vicious cycle and I need to break it already dammit. I think maybe I should attempt sleep again... who knows... so many thoughts... going so fast... through my little head. It's hard to shut up the voices.