the upward spiral on a downward trend...
So...I'm sitting in lab... and yes, i guess in all actuality, I really should be working. But I decided. Maybe just this once I would actually take some time for myself. And so I decided to actually do some homework, play some text-twist, and pretty much just all around fart around. I really am sorta bored. But when it comes down to it, if I start anything im gonna be here for who knows how long, and quite frankly, I would really like to go to gradiv bible study tonight.
So surfing the net like nobody’s business… well… maybe like it’s my business, or maybe more like its my job. And im thinking to myself… Deirdre told me about the jack’s mannequin concert that is in Greensboro, and OAR isn’t playing with them… hmm… who will be there? Click the link, and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a show that contains Copeland, daphne loves derby, and some other band that I’ve never heard of (but u can bet ur butt that im gonna check em out). I almost wet myself right there. A show. with jack’s mannequin about 45 min away. But not only that, with Copeland. And to top it off, with daphne loves derby!!!!! Maybe this grey sky day wont be too bad after all =)
Been listening to the snow patrol cd eyes open nonstop repeat since I got here. I seriously feel like it is a soundtrack for my life. Every song. EVERY SONG… ::sigh:: so good. I was listening to a couple weeks ago when I was working out, and I seriously had to stop b/c it made me so sad, nostalgic, and morose, that I actually started crying… not like anime projectile tears, but… little bitty ones that make ur eyelashes slightly wet, and can only smear ur make up if u smudge ur eyes… fortunately I don’t think anyone saw… I hate crying in front of people… =O
Ugh. So. Ive been spending a lot of time trying to get a hang of my classes, and lab work. And everyone has been telling me this past week that I have spent too much time in the lab. But I don’t feel like that is true. Yes I haven’t been going home till at the earliest 8:30pm and am starting around 8:30 in the morn. But. In all fairness. I do have classes in there. I was so frustrated with everything last week b/c for the first time since I can remember I had to sit through class with a teacher who was talking about something I had no dang clue, and could NOT for the LIFE OF ME figure out what the heck he was getting at or how the frick to do the homework. So I pretty much hated my life for all of 5 days. And then I had a study group, and I was the stupid person in the group. The one who could bring nothing to the table to discuss b/c I couldn’t figure out the stupid homework to begin with. I wanted to cry. WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE!!! I felt like a total failure, and I thought to myself… OMG! Is this how my entire grad school experience is gonna be? Me not understanding a dang thing in my classes? And sliding by with mediocre grades? I really hope not. That would be uber depressing. In every sense of the word. Ugh. So I spent yesterday actually reading the assignment and since I didn’t understand it to begin with, I didn’t remember any of the answers we wrote down (though I had them at easy access…. So I could quickly reference if I was getting it at all…) and lo and behold, maybe they were right… maybe I was spending too much time in the lab b/c all it took was me sitting down with a brain that wasn’t over-loaded, or tired… with an uninterrupted couple of hours and I totally figured it out, no problem. This of course made me feel tons better b/c.. well… maybe next time I wont be the stupid one in the group (and I did understand lecture, or what can loosely be called lecture, on Friday…since I got microbial genetics in the bag baby…) and, of course even more importantly, this material that was covered this past week will be 50% of the midterm. Ugh.
So I at least feel like im not failing in my lab rotation. While I may be feeling like a slacker right at this very moment, it’s a dang holiday! Neither one of the post docs is here, and while all the grad students are…. Well… the PI went to st. johns. So. Yeah. I dunno. Maybe I should be doing something. Ugh. I hate this idle hands feeling.
This past weekend I didn’t really do all that much, but still had a lot of fun =) Friday my stomach felt like it was seriously going to implode. I don’t know why… actually I have my suspicions… I think I may be developing a mild case of lactose intolerance, of which the gobs of icecream that I ate probably didn’t help out too much… so yeah… I went out anyways… and it was a blast. I gambled away the rest of john’s chips, since I didn’t feel like buying in to the poker game, and he so graciously gave me his second buy in after losing a couple hands… (he lost the first buy in, too…) so yeah… I was so ticked… b/c I folded the first hand, and totally lost the second… and I was all in (tho I didn’t have many chips…) I really did think it was a decent hand… 2 pair, jacks and nines… none of which were on the flop… so… yeah… who knew… oh well… I ended up playing taboo with a bunch of developmental biology people, some cell and molecular bio people, and of course the MGMers were represented by john and me. =) I laughed so hard, and it made m laugh even harder when I realized that almost every single word we all pretty much described them in scientific terms. It was ridiculous, but fun all the same. We were all nerdy… yet completely normal in doing it. Ahhh… nerd haven. =) Sat. went out to d-town durham, and hungout at a couple bars. They were alright… but chapel hill is definitely better in my opinion. More people. Better night life.
Got the mae cd from RC, and realized what exactly ive been missing. I was so ticked when I lost my original cd from nate last year. And then I found it, and was so excited, only to realize that it was really scratched. So… been listening nonstop and trying to make up for all the time I coulda been listening to it… but couldn’t…
And… now… in gearing up for the jack’s mannequin concert, listening to them on myspace… although Id really like to buy their cd for real. Ugh. I just gotta save up some money. That’s so hard. And I wont be paid until the end of this month. Fortunately I have a good chunk saved up… so the bills that are coming due aren’t going to be a problem at all… I just want my paychecks…. Ugh!!!!
So been looking up plane tix on line… we’ll see… id really like to come home… but I feel like it’s going to be a lot… ill be spending money on tix for oct., nov, and dec…. but… it would be nice…. I miss u guys all so much =(
So my computer is really irritating me b/c it’s running so fricken slow. Ugh. I think I need a new one…. Poopers….
Well after the worlds longest entry… im about to… pece out girl scouts =)
After of course a little bit of additional wordage…
These lyrics from Jack’s mannequin… oh man… they are 100% how I feel… my life… hardcore…
I wake up to find it's another
Four aspirin morning, and I dive in
I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday.
When did society decide that we had to change
And wash a tee shirt after every individual use;
If it's not dirty, I'm gonna wear it.
I take the stairs to the car
And there's fog on the windows.
I need caffeine in my blood stream,
I take caffeine in the blood stream.
I grip the wheel and all at once I realize:
My life has become a boring pop song
And everyone's singing along.
So surfing the net like nobody’s business… well… maybe like it’s my business, or maybe more like its my job. And im thinking to myself… Deirdre told me about the jack’s mannequin concert that is in Greensboro, and OAR isn’t playing with them… hmm… who will be there? Click the link, and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a show that contains Copeland, daphne loves derby, and some other band that I’ve never heard of (but u can bet ur butt that im gonna check em out). I almost wet myself right there. A show. with jack’s mannequin about 45 min away. But not only that, with Copeland. And to top it off, with daphne loves derby!!!!! Maybe this grey sky day wont be too bad after all =)
Been listening to the snow patrol cd eyes open nonstop repeat since I got here. I seriously feel like it is a soundtrack for my life. Every song. EVERY SONG… ::sigh:: so good. I was listening to a couple weeks ago when I was working out, and I seriously had to stop b/c it made me so sad, nostalgic, and morose, that I actually started crying… not like anime projectile tears, but… little bitty ones that make ur eyelashes slightly wet, and can only smear ur make up if u smudge ur eyes… fortunately I don’t think anyone saw… I hate crying in front of people… =O
Ugh. So. Ive been spending a lot of time trying to get a hang of my classes, and lab work. And everyone has been telling me this past week that I have spent too much time in the lab. But I don’t feel like that is true. Yes I haven’t been going home till at the earliest 8:30pm and am starting around 8:30 in the morn. But. In all fairness. I do have classes in there. I was so frustrated with everything last week b/c for the first time since I can remember I had to sit through class with a teacher who was talking about something I had no dang clue, and could NOT for the LIFE OF ME figure out what the heck he was getting at or how the frick to do the homework. So I pretty much hated my life for all of 5 days. And then I had a study group, and I was the stupid person in the group. The one who could bring nothing to the table to discuss b/c I couldn’t figure out the stupid homework to begin with. I wanted to cry. WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE!!! I felt like a total failure, and I thought to myself… OMG! Is this how my entire grad school experience is gonna be? Me not understanding a dang thing in my classes? And sliding by with mediocre grades? I really hope not. That would be uber depressing. In every sense of the word. Ugh. So I spent yesterday actually reading the assignment and since I didn’t understand it to begin with, I didn’t remember any of the answers we wrote down (though I had them at easy access…. So I could quickly reference if I was getting it at all…) and lo and behold, maybe they were right… maybe I was spending too much time in the lab b/c all it took was me sitting down with a brain that wasn’t over-loaded, or tired… with an uninterrupted couple of hours and I totally figured it out, no problem. This of course made me feel tons better b/c.. well… maybe next time I wont be the stupid one in the group (and I did understand lecture, or what can loosely be called lecture, on Friday…since I got microbial genetics in the bag baby…) and, of course even more importantly, this material that was covered this past week will be 50% of the midterm. Ugh.
So I at least feel like im not failing in my lab rotation. While I may be feeling like a slacker right at this very moment, it’s a dang holiday! Neither one of the post docs is here, and while all the grad students are…. Well… the PI went to st. johns. So. Yeah. I dunno. Maybe I should be doing something. Ugh. I hate this idle hands feeling.
This past weekend I didn’t really do all that much, but still had a lot of fun =) Friday my stomach felt like it was seriously going to implode. I don’t know why… actually I have my suspicions… I think I may be developing a mild case of lactose intolerance, of which the gobs of icecream that I ate probably didn’t help out too much… so yeah… I went out anyways… and it was a blast. I gambled away the rest of john’s chips, since I didn’t feel like buying in to the poker game, and he so graciously gave me his second buy in after losing a couple hands… (he lost the first buy in, too…) so yeah… I was so ticked… b/c I folded the first hand, and totally lost the second… and I was all in (tho I didn’t have many chips…) I really did think it was a decent hand… 2 pair, jacks and nines… none of which were on the flop… so… yeah… who knew… oh well… I ended up playing taboo with a bunch of developmental biology people, some cell and molecular bio people, and of course the MGMers were represented by john and me. =) I laughed so hard, and it made m laugh even harder when I realized that almost every single word we all pretty much described them in scientific terms. It was ridiculous, but fun all the same. We were all nerdy… yet completely normal in doing it. Ahhh… nerd haven. =) Sat. went out to d-town durham, and hungout at a couple bars. They were alright… but chapel hill is definitely better in my opinion. More people. Better night life.
Got the mae cd from RC, and realized what exactly ive been missing. I was so ticked when I lost my original cd from nate last year. And then I found it, and was so excited, only to realize that it was really scratched. So… been listening nonstop and trying to make up for all the time I coulda been listening to it… but couldn’t…
And… now… in gearing up for the jack’s mannequin concert, listening to them on myspace… although Id really like to buy their cd for real. Ugh. I just gotta save up some money. That’s so hard. And I wont be paid until the end of this month. Fortunately I have a good chunk saved up… so the bills that are coming due aren’t going to be a problem at all… I just want my paychecks…. Ugh!!!!
So been looking up plane tix on line… we’ll see… id really like to come home… but I feel like it’s going to be a lot… ill be spending money on tix for oct., nov, and dec…. but… it would be nice…. I miss u guys all so much =(
So my computer is really irritating me b/c it’s running so fricken slow. Ugh. I think I need a new one…. Poopers….
Well after the worlds longest entry… im about to… pece out girl scouts =)
After of course a little bit of additional wordage…
These lyrics from Jack’s mannequin… oh man… they are 100% how I feel… my life… hardcore…
I wake up to find it's another
Four aspirin morning, and I dive in
I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday.
When did society decide that we had to change
And wash a tee shirt after every individual use;
If it's not dirty, I'm gonna wear it.
I take the stairs to the car
And there's fog on the windows.
I need caffeine in my blood stream,
I take caffeine in the blood stream.
I grip the wheel and all at once I realize:
My life has become a boring pop song
And everyone's singing along.