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Gah livejournal sucks. I feel so crummy today. Its a Jonah day. I keep thinking that I'm this completely hideous fatass who has the IQ of a potato. I also have a strange craving to make myself throw up. Whoa i'm probably having some kind of psychological problem. I just really want to get plastic surgery and fix everything thats wrong with me. I think i just need sleep or something. I'm also constantly getting these panic attacks. What if I dont get into AP next year? What if I turn out an old maid because of my ugliness and short temper? What if I'm not good enough to be a surgeon? Strange illogical questions are like racing through my mind and the only person who i can talk to is moving to New Mexico in 2-3 months. It isnt fair that I have to lose the only person who will ever understand my weirdness and crazy ass ways. Well I'm not really losing her but New Mexico is awfully far away. I cant believe how unlucky I am right now. I need a hug =[ Oh yeah! I also get this desire to feel loved. My parents arent really demonstrative and neither am I but I'd really like to change that. I wanna hug people without being all stiff and awkward and tell people I love them even though I really dont. How sad is it that I cant say love ya bye to a few people because I feel like i'd be lying to them? Everyone lies anyways. OMG I'M SO EMO! RAWR. Speaking of emo, i heard this song recently that made me LOL. Its called Emo Kid by Adam and Andrew. Whoevers reading this, dont make fun of my pathetically depressing updates.