That god damn cycle.
So once again, I am updating. Why? Don't know why, maybe if I whore myself enough people will all swarm my journal, trying to get me to join their stupid little community about ranting or child free bullshit that just ends up surronding me with fucking kids. Love to be a cynic.
Anyway, things have been going swimmingly. I have done my duties, gotten my job, cleaned my shit, and have god damn money in the bank for once. It might just be possible that I could become happy with a medicore job and a medicore income. Why dare you ask? Well, I've come to terms that when you want everything to be the best, the most perfect thing possible, you just fuck it all up and end up with and even more twisted peice of shit life. Attaining perfection is impossible, and once you do, your more then likely dead. After all, what is happiness without a little contrast of bad events?
I've had a bit of a falling out with my mom, mostly due to the fact that I've gotten sick of her imposing beliefs on people, and me telling her my opinion. That, or I openly question something infront of her. She hates that I question things for whatever reason, if I knew, I'd keep doing it regardless. Thus are my ways. In theory, I'm going to go live with my dad for awhile as I need to find some sort of sense of family. Yes yes yes, I just talked about how my life is getting all nice and dandy and happiness and blah blah blah, but I haven't seen this man most of my life, I haven't dealt with him enough to get annoyed whenever he does something he always does or when he does something I knew he was going to do. Damnit, I need that. Need to get to know him and his family more then just as passing gifts and thank you notes, more then just holiday dinners and family announcments. I'm not some fucking voyuer, I don't like to watch, I want to get in on the action. My mom having two new girls is also pushing it, knowing that I should exit stage right from her life .
She'll deny it, but I know that she has in essence, moved on with the son she really didn't plan on. And actually, I'm fine with that. I didn't hate her...but to say that I lack that feeling of love or worry about something is not something I take ashame to. She'll move on, I'll move on, and I'll never ever tell her that I suck dick as much as fuck pussy. Total mind fuck for her black and white world.
As for anything else, I might as well just add some stuff for people to look at.
If you like eletronica and it's sort, get some Lemon Jelly. I really, really like some of his stuff as I've gotten tired of Underworld, DJ Shadow, Cirrus, Chemical Brothers, and others I don't want to mention before I sound like the mainstream buff.
Oh well...lets keep it going.
Anyway, things have been going swimmingly. I have done my duties, gotten my job, cleaned my shit, and have god damn money in the bank for once. It might just be possible that I could become happy with a medicore job and a medicore income. Why dare you ask? Well, I've come to terms that when you want everything to be the best, the most perfect thing possible, you just fuck it all up and end up with and even more twisted peice of shit life. Attaining perfection is impossible, and once you do, your more then likely dead. After all, what is happiness without a little contrast of bad events?
I've had a bit of a falling out with my mom, mostly due to the fact that I've gotten sick of her imposing beliefs on people, and me telling her my opinion. That, or I openly question something infront of her. She hates that I question things for whatever reason, if I knew, I'd keep doing it regardless. Thus are my ways. In theory, I'm going to go live with my dad for awhile as I need to find some sort of sense of family. Yes yes yes, I just talked about how my life is getting all nice and dandy and happiness and blah blah blah, but I haven't seen this man most of my life, I haven't dealt with him enough to get annoyed whenever he does something he always does or when he does something I knew he was going to do. Damnit, I need that. Need to get to know him and his family more then just as passing gifts and thank you notes, more then just holiday dinners and family announcments. I'm not some fucking voyuer, I don't like to watch, I want to get in on the action. My mom having two new girls is also pushing it, knowing that I should exit stage right from her life .
She'll deny it, but I know that she has in essence, moved on with the son she really didn't plan on. And actually, I'm fine with that. I didn't hate her...but to say that I lack that feeling of love or worry about something is not something I take ashame to. She'll move on, I'll move on, and I'll never ever tell her that I suck dick as much as fuck pussy. Total mind fuck for her black and white world.
As for anything else, I might as well just add some stuff for people to look at.
If you like eletronica and it's sort, get some Lemon Jelly. I really, really like some of his stuff as I've gotten tired of Underworld, DJ Shadow, Cirrus, Chemical Brothers, and others I don't want to mention before I sound like the mainstream buff.
Oh well...lets keep it going.