Random

[torre85]

I hate my new house. It’s big, it’s beautiful, in a good neighborhood, and I hate it. I’ve come to recall the old neighborhood with a comfort. The big trees, the city park only a block away. The imperfect broken sidewalks. It was comfortable. Walking the streets, the sunset, and of course the familiar trees. I don’t go out into the neighborhood

Comments

[sharpeslass]

*hugs you so hard*
I think you give too much to too many people. It sounds like no one is taking care of Torre85, not even Torre85. I hope your husband realizes what he's got in you and starts freakin' valuing it before he loses it, and I hope that you won't be afraid to let him lose it if he doesn't start giving you a little bit of what you need to survive and stay sane while working and raising his children and (presumably) cooking his meals and cleaning his house and loving him more than he deserves. My husband took all of that for granted in me and spent the time he did have with me bitching and nagging and yelling at me about my failings until I believed him and thought I was worthless. But eventually I left. The last time he called he told me about all of the things he missed. He told me he was wrong. He told me he'd changed. I told him it was too late

[torre85]

Thanks. I really needed that. I feel a lot better now. Actually, I felt good as soon as I clicked the post button. Nice to just be heard, you know. And at the moment, there's no one to talk to. This work environment is kinda weird. Before I was stuck in a room full of therapists, and we were talking about our feelings all the time. They even provided me with a therapist. I was being heard all over the place. This one doesn't, and everyone assumes that I'm made of steel or something

[sharpeslass]

Out of curiosity, have you ever sat your hubby down and explained to him the way he is making you feel? He needs to know that his support and understanding is important to you during times of stress (and always, really, but baby-steps). If he can't listen to your feelings and consider trying to make some changes in his behaviour, you should consider swapping him out for a new one. (I jest... sort of).
*hug*

[torre85]

Ugh! I hate doing the sit down this is serious talks sooo much! I do it of course, 'cause I'm girly like that, but I so much prefer to goof off after work. My line of work feels like a long line of sit-down-this-is-serious-talks. You know what I mean? Anyway he knows he's my only source of support and he gloats at it. He's always bugging me to keep in touch with my old friends and whatnot.

I actually I have no issues with his behavior. He's pissed and it's justified. I mean I screw up ALL the time. It's just rough to have to hear about it after working like crazy. And friday was really rough. I felt like I was fighting against the world for my patient, even people in the SAME company; management, nurses, doctors, the whole bit. And what do I have to show for it? The guy's going to die anyway and I will be left behind having to deal with the mess I've made on his behalf. I come home and I wanted someone on my side dammit, but the husband felt like fighting also.

[illusionary001]

*hugs*
I am sorry you are having such a rough time. Moving from one neighborhood to another can be rough. But I understand moving to a safer area for your kids, especially if there are gang wars going on. Those are the scariest things in the world, let me tell you, there were times when my neighborhood was caught in the crossfire. And times when you saw other gang members beat up another. It wasn't pretty.

As for your husband, men can be very unsympathetic ,unappreciative of what you do, and downright cruel. My father is like that, my ex-boyfriend was like that, and some of my guy friends are like that. I hope your husband realizes all you do for him, before it escalates into something nasty.

Well I hope everything turns out alright for you. *hugs again*

[torre85]

Thanks. It feels good to be heard, you know.

I've never experienced the actual shootings. I can only imagine it being very scary. I did witness a kid getting his ass kicked in the middle of the street by like ten other kids. And another time this one guy was attacked by a stranger and was wondering around the neighborhood looking confused by the blood in his hand that was coming from the side of his head. Poor guy. and the two guys that kidnapped a girl and raped her in their house. Hmmm... Might be good that we moved. With all that I witness and the finding a stripped down stolen car in my carport and the naked guy scaring the old women, the cops must think I have their number on speed dial.

Guys are asses. However I really don't do much for the husband which is part of the problem. I'm a selfish, lazy bastard. Working on it though.