we don't speak, alone apart. miserable, without company, breaking my own heart.

[tornspacetime]

we have days like this and i punish myself, but it doesn't feel like i'm doing it quite enough.
my frustration and hate for my self, for this is so much harder than can be fair to express to the outside world.
can't sentences. broken broken broken.
heart, emotions.
i've fucked myself all up, i've fucked it all up, it's because it's my fault.
i'm the one, with the guilt.
i'm the one who deserves it.

i'm alone, it's my fault. i'll wrap myself in a blanket of blame you'll never unravel, i'll never let you heal me of my shame.

i deserve it.
you punish me, but i'll punish myself harder.