hey what can i say i fucked up, and yes this time it was my fault. i thought i was ready, but i wasn't. i thought i might be able to re capture what i thought we once had but i can't. i just simply don't have that in my heart anymore, and i know it sucks that it took this to find that out. I've been telling you to move on and everything else for quite some time. friends is all we can be and only friends because we have a kid. if we didn't have lorelei i would never have spoken to you again. i would'nt have paid you all that money to get into a place or bought you dishes and towels and a microwave and all that other shit. frankly i would have never given a shit or thought about you ever again. i know stuff is hard, its hard for me too. everyone thinks i am such a asshole, and maybe i am. but remember i am the one who stayed committed in the relationship. i am the one who helps whenever i can, the one who is willing to try to stay friends, or at least on good terms. i can only give you so much. i cannot give you or anyone else my heart
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