Feeling Sorry For Rogue-Chapter Four
Title: Feeling Sorry For Rogue
Author: Tornado Ally
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Set about 4 months after X2. Rogue's life has become pretty complicated. Logan's gone, Christmas is coming, and her relationship with her friends consists mostly of notes left in unlikely places. Ororo gets the brilliant idea to teach the kids the Joy of the Envelope, and now a total stranger knows more about her than anyone else. Told through letters, emails, and notes from Secret Societies, like in Feeling Sorry for Celia
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em
Rogue,
Welcome to another year.
Just one more year for you to screw up and regret. Another year to push away friends and make new enemies, to slip on banana peels, burn cookies, and choke on your own words. Another year that Logan isn't here and neither is Jean, or John. Another year for you to have other people's nightmares, and wish for your own.
Cheers!
THE COLD HARD TRUTH ASSOCIATION
Rogue,
Also, admit it. You thought Logan would be home for Christmas, didn't you? You thought he'd show up on his snow covered sleigh (okay, motorcycle), stomp his boots on the mat, and announce that he was staying for good now. You thought he might even have a present for you, something exotic and beautiful for you to wear in place of his dogtags.
At the very least, you expected a phone call. And what did you get? Nothing.
See all that leftover wrapping paper from Christmas Rogue? We suggest you use it to cover your face for the remainder of the year. While you're at it, roll yourself out to the curb with the dead Christmas trees.
THE COLD HARD TRUTH ASSOCIATION
Students,
Just a reminder that your mid-term examinations will begin approximately one month from now, on the week of January 31st-February 3rd.
I maintain that this is no reason for undue panic or stress. However, some students may find it helpful to start preparing now, instead of the night of January 30th?
Have a wonderful New Year.
Sincerely,
Professor Xavier
Rogue,
Didja see X's New Years post in the Main Hall? No need to panic or stress? Then why are all the teachers piling on so much work? I feel like I'm about to cave in under all this pressure.
Jubes and me are going to the mall after. Wanna come?
Kitty
Kitty,
I know what you mean...Scott is going to kill me...I still haven't finished the trig assignment he gave us over the holidays...and he's already given me an extension.
I think I'll forgo the shopping. I'm just going to take a Tylenol and get started on my Physics homework. Have fun!
Rogue
Rogue,
Maybe simply taking a Tylenol isn't such a good solution. Perhaps curling up in a ball and dying would be preferable?
Yours Truly,
Helpful Suggestions at Your Service, Inc
Rogue,
I guess you forgot about our meeting last night? No need to worry about it, but do be sure you come to the next one. We're never going to figure this thing out unless you make an effort. See you next week.
Hank
ROGUE! LOOK AT THIS NOTE! HANGING FROM THE CEILING FAN!
Why didn't you come shopping with us? I thought it was going to be a weekly ritual from now on? Way to let me down. You better come next time, we saw this shirt that would look great on you.
James from Starbucks says hi. He's that guy that always sits in the corner with a baseball cap, remember? You know the one we thought was a rapist/pedophile/evil minion of Magneto's sent to spy on us? Funny story: It turns out he was just trying to channel the spirit of his dead wife. Man, am I relieved!
Jubilee
Rogue,
I know things are getting stressful, what with exams and all, but that history assignment is three days late. I'm going to have to give you a zero if it's not on my desk by Friday.
Ororo
Rogue,
No! What are you doing? This is not right. Are you actually...doing your homework?
We're confused. Because we know that what you really want to do is go downstairs and watch Friends reruns while filing your nails. Or, better yet, crawl into bed and put your head under the covers. We know that your brain is getting fuzzy and your vision is getting blurry and those numbers look like tiny bugs marching across the page.
So tell us, Rogue, why are you still at your desk?
If you don't straighten up and fly right, we may have to dismiss you from our Society.
The Society of People Who Are Going to Fail High School
(And most likely life too)
To: Rogue.XaviersSchool.edu.org
From: Address Withheld
Hey,
So, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to write to you again, but here I am. I'm sure it's pissing you right off, but I just remember how easy it was to talk to you sometimes. Before you and Bobby became an item.
"What?" you're thinking. "John saying something obnoxious about me/my personal life choices? Shocker." I've realized recently what a big mouth I have. It's getting me into a bit more trouble here than it ever did at school. Go figure.
Hey, do you remember last Christmas when Bobby and Kitty had gone home, and it was just me, you, and Jubilee of the older kids left? I remember thinking how happy you looked when we played the pranks on the younger kids and the teachers. After, when the two of us sat by the Christmas tree eating chocolate oranges and you told me that sometimes you really wished you could go home, too? That was the first time I felt I really got to know you.
But then Bobby came back, and things got back to normal, and it seemed like you had put Christmas Rogue away, and Regular Rogue came back. After that I started to notice all the different masks you put on. Maybe masks is the wrong word. Versions of you. There was Exam Rogue, who would keep all of us from getting stressed out by bringing us coffee the night before the test, the whole time telling us that we needed to get sleep. I really never figured out how you did so well, with all the time you spent looking after us.
Then there was Friday night Rogue, who would get dressed up with Kitty and Jubilee even if we weren't really doing anything and get all giggling and smiley, until some point in the night when I'd look over and see something sad in your eyes. I used to wonder why. I still do.
Oh, there was also movie Rogue, the one who would drag us all out to rent a movie, and after you had finished shushing us about a million times, would start pointing out all of the little things that nobody else noticed. Or get really quiet and sit looking at the t.v with this glazed expression on your face, and it was hard to tell if you were even watching at all.
You should be an actress. I know I've suggested it to you before and you told me about that time in third grade when you forgot all your lines on opening night, and then threw up on the stage, but seriously. You can look like you're having the best of times, and then I'll catch your eye. It takes just a second for you to react, but I always see some underlying emotion there, and I don't get it. Why do you pretend so much? Why do I have to look at exactly the right moment to catch you doing it?
Anyway, I've been on this computer for over an hour now, and I'm not even supposed to be here. And you should be studying for exams. It's about that time, isn't it?
John
DELETED EMAIL:
No. You cannot do this to me John. You aren't here anymore. You left, okay? You are no longer a part of my life, and you aren't allowed messing with my head now. Not now. I have too much to freaking deal with, and I don't need you, along with Ororo, Scott, Kitty, Jubilee, Bobby, and the Professor and Hank, not to mention the oh, about THREE THOUSAND VOICES IN MY HEAD up my ass right now. You do know that Kitty can figure out where your writing from in about three seconds, don't you? I would get her to do that too, except for the fact that I DON"T CARE. I don't care about you, or your stupid lame attempts to make me feel sorry for you. I don't care if Magneto isn't the great guy you thought he was, and life as an evil minion isn't all it's cracked up to be.
It's not going to work this time, John. If you want to come home, then do it. Don't send me these immature, lame attempts at a cry for help, because I'm not going to tell the Professor. There isn't going to be a rescue team knocking at the door of Magneto's evil lair anytime soon. So give up the act, because I'm through with caring. There was a time, once, when I would have, but you pretty much destroyed that chance when you left us to die. Leave me the hell alone.
Rogue,
Wow. I mean Wow. Did you drug that letter or something, because...Wow. Make a movie out of your life? Hell, you should have your own comic book. They should have trading cards with your name on them. Action figures, a book series, THERE SHOULD BE T-SHIRTS WITH YOUR FACE ON THEM. And an amusement park too.
I cannot believe that all of that stuff actually happened to you. I'm at a loss for words. Actually, that's not true, I'm never at a loss for words. In fact, I feel so stupid for even telling you all of my stupid lame problems. I should be, like, kissing the ground at your feet. Now I seriously can't tell you what happened at New Year's.
Do you have exams soon? We do. I hate exams.
Keltie
Dear Ms D'Ancanto,
Yes, we can replay that for you:
"Where's the kid?"
Again?
"Where's the kid?"
One more time?
"Where's the kid?"
Unfortunately, we cannot tell you who said it. We can replay, fast-forward, rewind, and put things in slow-motion. Black and white, high-definition, 3-D, however you want. We can't however, tell you who said it. And quite frankly, we don't care. You understand, don't you?
Of course you do.
Sincerely,
The Instant Replay Society
Rogue
Perhabs id would be a good idea dnot to visid Logan undill you can breathe dnormally. He bight be slighdly disgusted if your dose bmelts righd off your face.
Sdiffelly,
Helpful suggestions at your service, Ltd
Rogue
Did we hear that right? Was that Logan that we just heard in the hall...! Is he back for real? What are you waiting for? Go say hi! Or...wait--don't! Wait for him to come find you!
Anxious but also Extremely Excited, Inc.
Rogue, this is a good thing. You've been waiting for Logan to come back since forever...Remember? You have absolutely nothing to worry about.
You guys are friends. You've been friends for a while now. You had all those great talks during the summer, and you've even talked on the phone a couple of times since he's left. Everything is perfectly normal and okay.
So what if he didn't tell you where he's been? So what if you haven't heard from him in a while? You don't care. You're cool, light, and breezy...like a fluffy cloud on a warm spring day. Just float into the entrance hall like you haven't a care in the world, and casually notice that he's back. It will all be okay.
The Take a Deep Breath And Calm Down Society
In fact, you have everything to worry about. You think Logan's going to care about seeing you? When he has all-important Secret Missions to go on? When he didn't even say good-bye the last time he left? And when the only way he ever refers to you is as "kid"?
Delusional could be your middle name, kid.
THE COLD HARD TRUTH ASSOCIATION
Rogue,
Sean told me he saw a huge, scary looking guy with a cigar glaring at him in the hallway. I guess either Logan's back or Sean's been inhaling too deeply in Chem class again. Can you meet me tonight after dinner? I haven't spent any time with you since I got back.
Love,
Bobby
Keltie,
Wow. What was with that letter? What do you mean, you can't tell me what happened on New Years? Of course you can! I was afraid something like this would happen, and I really don't want you to be mad at me. Your letters are the only things that keep me sane. And I'm actually starting to cry, a little bit, now. I hate when I get this emotional.
Please, don't stop writing to me, I don't think I could get through these next few weeks without you. I have something important to tell you too, but I wont say anything until you write me back.
I'm really sorry I wrote that letter at all. I wish I hadn't, now. If you don't tell me what happened, I'm going to have to come to your school and sit outside on the unsalted walk until I figure out who you are, and force you to tell me everything.
Rogue