(no subject)
Yay! Thomas made it and weve seen so much more of the city in just a few hrs than the two days I walked around with crew members. Seeing him has made me a tad more aware of how much I miss home and just how bad the circus might be for my mental health. We talked so much of how people on tour can go psychotic, my rm might make me claustrophobic and I need to maintain my personal identity. I work for a corporation and they do not own me.
His friend Paul joined us and he had a vehicle which makes transportation infinitly easier. Really makes one be grateful for all of the years her parents paid for a car. Thanks mom and dad!
We drove to Japantown, had dinner and crepes for dessert. From there we ended up at Lombard to see the sights at night. I can not stress enough just how pretty San Fran is.
From there we went to the hotel and had a great life talk. He commented on my lost weight, mentioned I was unfocused and was worried for my mental health. A lot of people who go on tour go psychotic and are unable to enter regular life again. He told me stories of people who would be homeless right after a 6000 payout.
I suppose I am un focused. I dont really know what to do with my future and this place gets under my skin more often than I like to admit.
Between talking with Thomas and being denied my raise because I need to learn how to approach these people with my ideas, today I feel used and worthless.
1 Show, load out, load in on a holiday and then animal walk the next day that i may have to sacrifice more time with Benya and a date for.
It may be time to look into other life options just so I know I am not trapped in this life.
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