(no subject)
I haven't updated in a minute.
BASICALLY.
Things are starting to look up, and its creepy.
I have this new job that is raking in large dollar amounts for me. It sucks, but the shifts aint beefy, and the money is worth it.
All good things.
AND...since this is basically secluded from eyes I wouldn't want readin'....
double fuck. I knew all along that this would happen. And don't get me wrong, I'm fucking thrilled. I took the plunge, and landed in a soft cushy little warm snuggly cloud. I've officially allowed myself to flip off the past and mean it, and move on into something that I never expected it to be. Its all just too great. And I'm a girl, so my brain is fucking BOILING. Its like a smart girl I know told me: IMMEDIATE OWNDERSHIP. You look at the myspace page..and its like: WHOSE THAT CUNT. WHAT DID HE SAY TO HER. WHAT DID SHE MEAN BY THAT. SHES FROM FUCKIN COLORADO, HES PROBABLY FUCKING HER. I HATE HER. AND HER. AND HER. AND HER. And on top of that, I couldn't handle another horrible relationship episode. ESPECIALLY WITH HIM. I don't see myself ever hating him. And I don't see him hating me very easily. But we've all been there. Shit happens. AND. I'M HORRIFIED OF DISSAPOINTING HIM. He thinks I'm this fucking awesome chick, and its so much pressure to live up to. I mean, I think hes awesome, too. Maybe thats how its supposed to be? Maybe we'll always feel that way about eachother, no matter what. Maybe this is going to go somewhere amazing, and I have nothing to worry about?
I've been fucking stupid for years and years. Crazy about the kid. And he was ALWAAAAAYS there. But maybe everything really does happen for a reason.
I just feel like I never ever ever ever want to not be around him.
I love who I am around him. I always have. But now theres this new element to it..UGH. I need to stop.
BED. Sorry for being so vomit worthy.
BASICALLY.
Things are starting to look up, and its creepy.
I have this new job that is raking in large dollar amounts for me. It sucks, but the shifts aint beefy, and the money is worth it.
All good things.
AND...since this is basically secluded from eyes I wouldn't want readin'....
double fuck. I knew all along that this would happen. And don't get me wrong, I'm fucking thrilled. I took the plunge, and landed in a soft cushy little warm snuggly cloud. I've officially allowed myself to flip off the past and mean it, and move on into something that I never expected it to be. Its all just too great. And I'm a girl, so my brain is fucking BOILING. Its like a smart girl I know told me: IMMEDIATE OWNDERSHIP. You look at the myspace page..and its like: WHOSE THAT CUNT. WHAT DID HE SAY TO HER. WHAT DID SHE MEAN BY THAT. SHES FROM FUCKIN COLORADO, HES PROBABLY FUCKING HER. I HATE HER. AND HER. AND HER. AND HER. And on top of that, I couldn't handle another horrible relationship episode. ESPECIALLY WITH HIM. I don't see myself ever hating him. And I don't see him hating me very easily. But we've all been there. Shit happens. AND. I'M HORRIFIED OF DISSAPOINTING HIM. He thinks I'm this fucking awesome chick, and its so much pressure to live up to. I mean, I think hes awesome, too. Maybe thats how its supposed to be? Maybe we'll always feel that way about eachother, no matter what. Maybe this is going to go somewhere amazing, and I have nothing to worry about?
I've been fucking stupid for years and years. Crazy about the kid. And he was ALWAAAAAYS there. But maybe everything really does happen for a reason.
I just feel like I never ever ever ever want to not be around him.
I love who I am around him. I always have. But now theres this new element to it..UGH. I need to stop.
BED. Sorry for being so vomit worthy.