04-02-1951
This is one of the several notes that Robert Gene Dessauer wrote on the back of checks after shooting his sweetheart, Libby Bershad, four times.
"She died instantly--painlessly and mercifully--and most important of all she died happy with joyous thoughts that could never be brought to reality but she was so happy. The back of her head faced me--I looked at her beautiful new silver blonde hair--and I squeezed the trigger--and when she died, I died too. It now remains for mine executioner to complete my work--his superficial task will end a life that should never have begun--but he will be killing a corpse for I have already left the realm of the living. How often had we spoken of it--one killing the other and then paying for it by dying alone and forsaken, possibly in terror--I doubt if either of us realized at that time that this would soon come to pass. It was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my entire misbegotten life and yet now and then it all seemed so easy, actually. The cynical philosopher spoke more truth than poetry when he said, 'dying comes easy, it's living that's hard.' Right and wrong in the accepted sense all are fools and religionists and cowards--I was not afraid to kill and I am not afraid to be killed for it--I have no beliefs--other than that the end fully justifies the means. And a few paltry dollars made her so happy!"
I am in love for serious with that note.
"She died instantly--painlessly and mercifully--and most important of all she died happy with joyous thoughts that could never be brought to reality but she was so happy. The back of her head faced me--I looked at her beautiful new silver blonde hair--and I squeezed the trigger--and when she died, I died too. It now remains for mine executioner to complete my work--his superficial task will end a life that should never have begun--but he will be killing a corpse for I have already left the realm of the living. How often had we spoken of it--one killing the other and then paying for it by dying alone and forsaken, possibly in terror--I doubt if either of us realized at that time that this would soon come to pass. It was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my entire misbegotten life and yet now and then it all seemed so easy, actually. The cynical philosopher spoke more truth than poetry when he said, 'dying comes easy, it's living that's hard.' Right and wrong in the accepted sense all are fools and religionists and cowards--I was not afraid to kill and I am not afraid to be killed for it--I have no beliefs--other than that the end fully justifies the means. And a few paltry dollars made her so happy!"
I am in love for serious with that note.