I hear beauty crying in her sleep...
i dont even know where to begin...the last 10 months of my life have been AMAZING. i mean anyone can see from the pics in my last post how happy i was. i have had a wonderful boyfriend who treated me right, always made it his priority to make me happy, supported me with anything i wanted to do, understood me, respected me, cared for me, this list goes on & on. anyway i understand WHY he ended things, but i dont understand WHY he loves me but is not IN love with me & why i am not the girl for him. he said he might be making the worst decision of his life. might be. i dunno. i was so not ready for this. it was not a mutual decision in any way shape or form. i didnt want it to end. i was in love with him & i never fall in love with guys. maybe i shouldnt try so hard next time to be such a good girlfriend. ugh i hate myself. i should never trust a guy again. he said thats the difference between us, he is very trusting with people until they give him a reason not to trust them anymore, whereas i just never trust people to being with. i dont let a lot of people in, so thats why its so hard for me to accept that things are over. i mean i will be fine on my own, i am good at being alone & keeping to myself. yeah im friendly & outgoing but im very selective in the things i tell people. but its just frustrating cause when i went to his house to pick up my things, i felt so strong inside, but than i just broke down & cried & cried & i just fell apart. i dont want to feel this way. im afraid i will never find another guy who treats me like he did, afraid that i wont ever be comfortable with another guy like i was with him. i just miss him terribly & it sucks & i want to get over it now but im scared that i never will & than i wont know what to do:( ok thats all i really have to say for now.
oh yeah i forgot...only in my lifetime would i see THREE ex bf's all in one day. so messed up.
oh yeah i forgot...only in my lifetime would i see THREE ex bf's all in one day. so messed up.