Moving On.
So im headed to tokyo to start a new chapter in my life. If you would call it that.
What is life really ? new chapters?
i contradict myself.
i'm good at running from things, it's all ill ever know.
Hey, have you ever wanted something so bad , you know you wont have it so you give up ? not only that you give up because you hate yourself so much? my dad did it to my mom , he gave up on her. He didnt like himself. It wasnt her fault he felt this way. I used to mourn cause he wasnt here, now im starting to build this unknown hate inside of me for him i never knew. . . . 'namida namida namida'. He was everything to me and more. He taunt me so many things, but i guess it just wasnt what i truely needed. Im not sure who i am anymore, i do realize i am his daughter... it's obvious. But other than that.... what's left?...
im not sure when im leaving but it will be very soon. i need to get out of here. my insides are set on fire.
idk. this post wont make sense , but it'll be the last for a month or so till i get settled in tokyo.
'me no mae me asu ga mienai...'
EDIT: ... i wonder if he were still around if i'd still be the same way? would i be like him? like i am now.... or would i be better?...maybe even worse?.... i hate him. im unsure ive ever truely hated anyone before. i never thought i'd ever say that. i wanted to do everything he was unable to do... and now... i could care less... why do we live just to die ? ... is there really a point in it ? .... nobodys ever truely happy with their life... they can put up a front , i wish we all could just see right through it. Read people... their minds , feelings...know their every move... now im just sounding like a fucking freak.
i guess imma do something to keep me busy , ive been trying to sleep all day... obviously... it hasnt worked.
What is life really ? new chapters?
i contradict myself.
i'm good at running from things, it's all ill ever know.
Hey, have you ever wanted something so bad , you know you wont have it so you give up ? not only that you give up because you hate yourself so much? my dad did it to my mom , he gave up on her. He didnt like himself. It wasnt her fault he felt this way. I used to mourn cause he wasnt here, now im starting to build this unknown hate inside of me for him i never knew. . . . 'namida namida namida'. He was everything to me and more. He taunt me so many things, but i guess it just wasnt what i truely needed. Im not sure who i am anymore, i do realize i am his daughter... it's obvious. But other than that.... what's left?...
im not sure when im leaving but it will be very soon. i need to get out of here. my insides are set on fire.
idk. this post wont make sense , but it'll be the last for a month or so till i get settled in tokyo.
'me no mae me asu ga mienai...'
EDIT: ... i wonder if he were still around if i'd still be the same way? would i be like him? like i am now.... or would i be better?...maybe even worse?.... i hate him. im unsure ive ever truely hated anyone before. i never thought i'd ever say that. i wanted to do everything he was unable to do... and now... i could care less... why do we live just to die ? ... is there really a point in it ? .... nobodys ever truely happy with their life... they can put up a front , i wish we all could just see right through it. Read people... their minds , feelings...know their every move... now im just sounding like a fucking freak.
i guess imma do something to keep me busy , ive been trying to sleep all day... obviously... it hasnt worked.