(no subject)
i just , just now, read livejournaljunk back back, lots of entries, back to 2004. two years of this. and things change and friends leave and my brain is different. but i am still so worried of my mom dying. and i dont think i write the same. and when i started this thing i was in twelevth grade and now i am almost 21. fuck 21. oh my god 21. i dont want to be old. i dont want to get old. i do not want to be 21. i want to be 17. i want to be a little teeny and live again. i want to be 6 and love my mom and slip and slide and run and play with barbies in simone basement and drink juice and stuff. our fucking backyard forts. alcohol go away, and apartment and college and life. scary and i dont want it and i feel like i am pretending. and michael, thats done.
i am tired now.
i am tired now.