I wish I wasn't this way today.
I haven't updated in a long time and I know this is a bad way to start the trend.
No one knows what I'm holding back right now. I have so much anger. I want to scream. I would cry right now but I don't want anyone to hear. I want to watch my soap and eat ice cream. I don't think my friends realize how much I hurt right now, I don't think they can see how much I am there for them more then they are there for me. It's not like they even care, no one calls me, I always have to call them. Nobody listens to me so I have trouble telling people stuff. When I tell the truth I'm just a 'bitch', I just want to be honest...I'm a good listener, I care about what people have to say. I can never trust anybody right away it takes me awhile. and when I do trust you, you better keep your word. I want a relationship but I want someone loyal and trustworthy as I am, I like the nice guy act, I don't want to be hurt like my friends have. I love my family, I truly do, NOTHING can change that. I know my mom and dad care a lot for me, I see it more and more each day. I don't want to grow up, I am to scared to. I should be doing my research paper right now, but I just can't concentrate on that right now. School has got me so stressed, I hate it more and more each day, the only up about it is I can see my 'friends'. I feel like I'm putting on an act in front of everyone, I pretend I am happy but only I know that I'm sad. and I don't want to be...I'm normally an all around happy person and it makes me feel good to know that. I slammed my door today because I was angry, and now I feel bad. I get really nervous around people these days, so I just sit and be quite. I though I was doing really good in life till just recently when I took some time to myself. I heard this song and I cried...I haven't in awhile. I think it would be better to do that then yell at the top of my lungs or worst at someone. I want to be with someone RIGHT NOW, I want to be with someone who will listen to what I have to say, and not criticize me, they don't even have to give advise, just listen. and don't worry, I'm going to be strong, I always will, I always have. I have to go, I can't write anymore...
No one knows what I'm holding back right now. I have so much anger. I want to scream. I would cry right now but I don't want anyone to hear. I want to watch my soap and eat ice cream. I don't think my friends realize how much I hurt right now, I don't think they can see how much I am there for them more then they are there for me. It's not like they even care, no one calls me, I always have to call them. Nobody listens to me so I have trouble telling people stuff. When I tell the truth I'm just a 'bitch', I just want to be honest...I'm a good listener, I care about what people have to say. I can never trust anybody right away it takes me awhile. and when I do trust you, you better keep your word. I want a relationship but I want someone loyal and trustworthy as I am, I like the nice guy act, I don't want to be hurt like my friends have. I love my family, I truly do, NOTHING can change that. I know my mom and dad care a lot for me, I see it more and more each day. I don't want to grow up, I am to scared to. I should be doing my research paper right now, but I just can't concentrate on that right now. School has got me so stressed, I hate it more and more each day, the only up about it is I can see my 'friends'. I feel like I'm putting on an act in front of everyone, I pretend I am happy but only I know that I'm sad. and I don't want to be...I'm normally an all around happy person and it makes me feel good to know that. I slammed my door today because I was angry, and now I feel bad. I get really nervous around people these days, so I just sit and be quite. I though I was doing really good in life till just recently when I took some time to myself. I heard this song and I cried...I haven't in awhile. I think it would be better to do that then yell at the top of my lungs or worst at someone. I want to be with someone RIGHT NOW, I want to be with someone who will listen to what I have to say, and not criticize me, they don't even have to give advise, just listen. and don't worry, I'm going to be strong, I always will, I always have. I have to go, I can't write anymore...