fuck this! im soo tired but ican't sleep. i don't know what i took but i don't think it was the

[toriannarose]

same as what i took yester day they made me sleep for a long time now i can't clos my eyes.i was just trying to find a mood to make that star stop moving but it just keeps on bouncing. and i found a mood that they haven't got. its empty.i was soo surprised at all of the moods that i have never even heard of but they dont' have empty, which i am most of the time now. i mean seriously. what the fuck. whooohw i am geting too angry over something so insignificent.whooohw i think i spelled that word right.but i am quite empty i've relized. im emty of ambition, thoughts, happyness, i don't even think im sad any more and if i am then i must just be empty of tears. cuz i don't think that it is possibly for me to cry anymore.i think ive used up every though i could possibly of have thought. because instead of staying up thinking all night i would cry all night..and about what, i have no idea.im empy of sleep or soo full of it that i can't sleep any more...take your pick...im hungry but for what is the question.. im definently not hungry for anything in the refridgerator..so i went to jamies and i cant find anything there that sounds good nor can i at rallys.i thought alot yesterday actually, untill i found those pills. i am happy about those pills or at least i was but i dont think that those were the kind that i wanted it doesnt matter now though ..because they are all gone now. i found them when i was looking for emilys cds. which i can't find they were on my bed now all that is left is the nirvana dvd. i dont no where the rest could of have gone im really sorry. . . i want ambein. i think i am going to break up with exavior if he comes over today. i feel realy bad about it but ill feel worse if i just keep going out with him acting as if everything is fine. cuz its not...hell get over it. and soo will i. hopeflly ill get over this emptines soon. mabey if there was something to do i would feel better or if there was somethin gactually worth doing. ive lost all ambition for anything anymore. mabey if good things were actually possible for me then i would do something...what?was i talking about oh yea im not going to england. what was i thinking . i mean yeah its great to think about but honestly that wont ever happen to me.ill probably just stay here my whole life mabey go to delta to be a teacher or something...how pathetic..no offense.i wish i could just get up and leave go anywhere but here hitch hike out to someother state,at least id be exited, lonely or scared or something which would be beter than my current state of emptiness. but nooo im too i dont even know what to do that.
wow i can't believe i wrote that much i dont even think i really wrote about anything... noone is actually going to read this...hell i dont even know how i wrote it all.

But everything you do is leading to the point where you just won't know what to do.

And at that moment you may laugh but there is someone there who will be laughing louder than you.

So it's true, the trick is complete.
Now you have become everything you said that you never would be.
You're a fool!