If our love had words...

[toria44]

One month and twelve days ago I met a man. Not just a man, but thee man. The man who took me out of darkness and showed me light, the man who took a broken heart, and made it whole, made it complete to more levels then it ever knew. A man who continues to do this everyday, more and more. A man who has shown me more about myself then anyone else ever could, and who understands more about me then anyone else ever could. Dima Ionan...A man who loves me more then anyone on this earth ever will...he has given me the greatest gift this world has to offer and the only way I can receive this to the fullest is to give him everything I have back...I am fully in love with him, to the highest of my abilities and yet it continues to grow each day and especially each time I see his face in my hands...the first time I saw him I knew...and every time after that I learn more and more and feel more and more and its overwhelming but yet my body, mind, heart, and soul adjust to what I feel, and I'm growing more every day. I once thought I was in love...well no, I was once...and I was happy, content in ways..but even then I was restless and felt like I selfishly wanted more, but I didn't deserve more...slowly beginning to believe that there was no more then this that could be offered to me...which wasn't too hard to believe because I was already getting a great deal of love from this other guy....but now...NOW I know what it was that kept me restless...what I wanted and Needed and searched for...it was as if his love..dima's love.. was calling to me...I think his love has been calling me for years...getting me ready...sometimes I didn't always listen to it and I would doubt it thinking it would never just come to me! I could feel it and hear it..in the back of my mind I KNEW it was there...for if I didn't I could have possibly been happy in any number of my previous relationships...but I Knew what was out there waiting for me...then finally I stopped and listened...and I waited...knowing with open eyes and an open heart it would come to me. Then one glorious night, one month and twelve days ago, it came to me. I only knew a portion of the love that was waiting for me, I knew it would be great, I knew it would be a grand love above Alll else...but I never knew how great and how grand. Never could I have expected this...I've never felt emotions that were so real, so overwhelming, and so....perfect. There isn't a thing about Dima that I don't love, and everything about him blows me away, the more I learn about it and the more I can feel it, and feel him...the more and more I love it and love him. Yesterday I went to his house, and it was only the third time I got to be with him....but it was AMAZING....what happened to me while I was there was beyond words, but I will do my best. While he was on me and next to me and I was holding him...watching a beautiful movie with him...near the end of the movie..it all just kind of hit me...like a realization breaking free..before now I had never known what TRUE love felt like...never like this...so real, so strong, so..everlasting...its not something that will ever go away...and then I was just flooded with the strongest emotions I've ever felt...I Love this BEAUTIFUL, amazing man, here in my arms..and it was as if the word love wasn't strong enough...but at the same time my mind was bringing a whole new meaning to the word love. It was like I was once blind and now waking up from a dream and seeing with my eyes for the first time clearly, and all I could say...as I whispered to him with teary eyes was simply..."So this is what love feels like"....It is not fair that we have to go one second without each other, being able to hold each other and feel each other...but the moments I get with him are more meaningful then anyone could ever imagine...I love this man and always will...never will it fade and only will it grow.....When I was laying there with him, his soft skin gliding under the palm of my hand, his hair running through my fingers, gliding my finger tips along his face...I feel so utterly peaceful and love flows through me the ocean on a windy day, full, strong and powerful...In those moments that I have with him, it makes the decision to be with him forever feel no longer like a decision, in which case I would have had a separate choice, but instead a matter of what I have to do in order to survive...I lose my breath and my stomach turns at just the thought of not being with him....and its in those moments that I know it will always be us and we will always be one, it is the order of life and the way it was meant to be...I wish I had more words to express this other then saying that I love him so much...because I do! and I say it constantly because its so strong I always have the need to say it and tell him how much I love him...but it never feels like enough! How do you put an eternity of love and commitment, every ounce of what you are, every spec of what you feel, what feels like the combination of all of purest love on this earth poured into two people....all of that emotion and all those feelings for one person....into words...I need to express myself to him in every way that I can...and I need to be with him to do it..which is why in those moments...and I'm feeling him express himself to me....seeing that same love in his eyes...that I know what I want and feel and need...and its all him...and everything in me begins to express itself while I can look into his eyes as my love reflects his and we can deeply feel each others love...in everything that we do..and there is SO much that we want to do with and for each other...every kiss..every embrace...every look, every breath..every touch, every ounce of pleasure that we can give each other...and its going to take a life time of all of this, to really bring out how we feel for each other...and we can't waste a second of it....If there was only one thing worth living for in my life, it's him...The love that he has for me and shows me...god, its so much more then I ever have or will receive from anyone else on this earth...and I will never let that go..EVER...taking him away from me would be like taking away my air, my life source...you might as well physically tear me in half....because he is my other half, but the mental tear of that would be far worse then anything you could do to me physically....which is why I will never take a single ounce, a single moment, a single kiss, a look, a touch....anything..everything with him..about him..in him...I will NEVER take any of it for granted....I seriously could go on forever, trying to explain how he makes me feel...and what I love about him...I've hardly mentioned how astonishingly similar we are. Every time I learn something new about him, its always something I would love to see in anyone, but the fact that its something about him...and all of the little things about him...EVERYthing..put together...make him the single most amazing person I have ever met, or will meet in my entire life. Everything he says, everything he feels, from the slightest comment he makes, to his opinion on something, to the way he does something, or did, or wants to do...I love ALL of it...the things I always wanted to see in someone and wished someone could feel and see with me the way I do...he now does..and to have that in my life is more amazing then anyone could ever know! I appreciate every single thing about him...SOOo much...I more then love him for exactly what he is, and everything about him. To conclude this dedication to my love...I suppose I could try to sum this up...but no words can sum up what we are and what I have found....but its close to this....I have found love, I have found life, I have gained the other half of my survival...I have gained the love that could have only been granted to me by God himself...I could move oceans and mountains with the love I have for this one man...I can now spend the rest of my life happy and know that no matter what else I do or do not have...I will ALWAYS have him...and with that everything will be okay, for he is all I need in this world. I need him more then I need the air I breath or the water that keeps me a live. I say to you now...I start my journey of life with a whole new meaning, a whole new inspiration, a whole new love, and with new, pure eyes...With him. For now and for all eternity....forever and always. I love Dima.
<3 Torie

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