Sadness that is tearing at my little heart.
So lately I have been really trying hard to find the positive in every negative thing I come across. I have actually been doing really well doing that but than somethings get to me worse than others. I have been struggling with the fact I have an issue with feeling replaced. I have always felt bugged by it, because I do feel like when someone is replaced than they are forgotten. (Trust me this is not like I made this up, it has happened to me several times) ANYWAYS not the point.
My baby sister, who I really do love but things with us are very difficult because it does not matter how much love I give that girl it just seems to be lost on her. I spend so much time trying to make sure things are okay between us, a lot of my energy goes towards her and most of my family. I spend a lot of time trying to help everyone and pleasing them but I am okay doing that because I love when everyone is happy and smiling. So I don't mind doing all that but it is bugging me that I feel like she moved out and is replacing me with everyone else. All because I asked her for the gas money she owed me. I do not really think I was in the wrong for asking for this. I am not sure she understands that I work and I drive back and forth.
Not to mention the other day I had to go to the doctor and I needed 4 dollars to fill my prescriptions and she wouldn't even help me with that. I really did feel hurt by that, these pills are to help me feel better because my blood pressure is so out of whack. So when I asked for help she was like sorry I really cannot do anything. When in fact she really could have helped me but her husband has asked her to stop helping us and stop seeing us as much. I haven't spent more than 2 hours with her in 2 weeks. It really hurts my feelings and makes me so sad to even think about it. I actually needed her and she just said nope.
*sigh*
Maybe I took it to heart to much.
I really am trying not to be sad over this but it is hard.. she is suppose to be my baby sister.... not just his wife.
Family always comes first in my eyes. ALWAYS.
And my friends are my family so they always come first.