if i can see enough to type correct..
Right now, im almost in tears. i half know why the other reason i dont even know. im a single tiger, whos had the worst luck in relationships ever over the past few years. i try, and i try.. and i get nowhere. sometimes i try to hard, and i get pushy.. and that makes things worse. but when people let me get close, then decide theres somebody else who was there first, or is better than me cause im emo, or clingy.. i get so pushed outa wack i wanna scream. over the last year or so i just hold it all in, and it just boils inside till it comes out in ways i cant control. at times iver lost friends over it.. other times ive broken stuff i regret later. i dunno what to do about it.. i have all these awesome friends and roomates that live with me but its not the same as having that person there by your side that supports you no matter what.. or why. or that you can support right back in the same manor and respect they gave you.
is it too much to ask to not be lonely anymore? you think you have it all and your fine, then you see that other couple, or somebody on tv with their respective other.. gay, str8, or lesbian. i sometimes have to cry alone without anybody knowing just to release feelings that nobody has ever seen from me. and that hurts too. this is probly the first time ive ever wrote these feelings down, let alone for everybody to see.. but before people start wondering whats wrong with me.. or why i dont wanna talk about things is cause in the past ive been ridiculed as being the *Drama queen* and a emo whiney bitch.. and im tired of that crap too. so not talking about it hurts, talking about it hurts.. what am i to do?
lost and confused is what i call myself atm.. hurt and abused emotionaly.. broke and jobless physically..
theres a few people out there i care about deeply, but i cant even tell half the time if they care about me back. and i never know when the next blow to my emotions will come, and from who.
-Tora
is it too much to ask to not be lonely anymore? you think you have it all and your fine, then you see that other couple, or somebody on tv with their respective other.. gay, str8, or lesbian. i sometimes have to cry alone without anybody knowing just to release feelings that nobody has ever seen from me. and that hurts too. this is probly the first time ive ever wrote these feelings down, let alone for everybody to see.. but before people start wondering whats wrong with me.. or why i dont wanna talk about things is cause in the past ive been ridiculed as being the *Drama queen* and a emo whiney bitch.. and im tired of that crap too. so not talking about it hurts, talking about it hurts.. what am i to do?
lost and confused is what i call myself atm.. hurt and abused emotionaly.. broke and jobless physically..
theres a few people out there i care about deeply, but i cant even tell half the time if they care about me back. and i never know when the next blow to my emotions will come, and from who.
-Tora