"All We'd Ever Need" -- Chapter 7
Title: All We'd Ever Need
Characters/Pairings: Castle/Beckett (eventually)
Word Count: 1,490
Spoiler alert: Season 3 -- this was written before season 4.
Summary: What happens to Richard Castle and Kate Beckett if she agrees to marry another man?
Author's Notes: This story takes place, let’s say around the beginning of season 4. Except in my world, Roy is still alive and Kate was never shot. Also - I’ve sort of seen this story before, so I apologize if it looks similar to anything you’ve read. But I actually got the idea from the Lady Antebellum song, “All We’d Ever Need.” This isn’t really a song-fic, but that’s where the inspiration came from. I hope you like it!
Thanks to callsign_buzz and sparkles_mouse for beta-reading! I really appreciate all your help.
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Castle heard a knock on the door to his loft, so he placed his laptop on the coffee table, and headed towards the sound. His mind was still focused on his story, so he didn’t think to look through the peephole. Instead, he pulled the door wide open and let out an, “Oh,” of surprise.
“Writer Boy.”
“Lanie.” He cleared his throat and studied her. She’d done something different with her hair since the last time he’d seen her. “Want to come in?” he finally asked.
“As a matter of fact, I do.”
She brushed past him and entered his apartment. Castle reached up to scratch a hand through his hair, somewhat puzzled. He hadn’t seen Lanie for weeks, not since before he left Kate, and he wondered if something was wrong. His heart pounded a little harder at the thought that maybe something had happened to Kate. But no-if that were true, Lanie would look more panicked.
“So, uh, what’s up?” he asked, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. He knew this conversation was not going to be pretty, and going up against The Best Friend was a little scary.
She walked over to him and gave him a light slap on the cheek. “That’s what’s up, you jackass.”
He bobbed his head as he rubbed his cheek. It hadn’t hurt. It was more embarrassing than anything. “Yeah, I probably deserve that,” he said, as his cheeks burned a little.
“More than that,” Lanie scoffed. “I’d like to kick your ass, but there are more important things to attend to.”
Castle dropped down onto the couch and patted the space across from him. “Take a load off, Dr. Parish.”
She quirked an eyebrow at him, her arms folded across her chest, and he merely shrugged. She sighed in exasperation and sat down on the couch. “You look like hell,” she said.
He grunted. “Ha. Thanks.”
“You’re not sleeping well, huh?”
He swallowed and looked at her. “Not really.”
“Eating?”
“Nothing tastes good anymore. Or even really has a taste,” he said.
“Join the club,” Lanie said.
He raised an eyebrow. “You look well-rested to me, Lanie. And, as much as I hate to say this with the risk of being slapped again, you don’t look like you haven’t been eating.”
“Are you calling me fat?”
“No, no. See. I can’t win. I just meant that-“
“Shut it, Castle. I’m just messing with you.”
He sighed, his shoulders slumping a little with relief. “You’re a very beautiful woman. I don’t think I need to tell you that.”
“It never hurts a woman’s ego to hear it.” She grinned at him. After a moment, her face dropped all traces of humor. “I meant you can join that club with Kate.”
His eyes searched hers. “The boys told me... but that was a few weeks ago. She’s still not sleeping or eating?”
“She’s so thin you can see all the bones in her body and the bags under her eyes could hold all of her clothes for a week’s vacation.”
Castle groaned slightly and lowered his head into his hands. He rubbed the palms of his hands hard into his eyes as the guilt ate at him once again. “Fuck,” he muttered.
“Yeah. Fuck’s right. You wrecked her when you left, Castle.”
“She has Josh,” he whispered.
Lanie reached over to pat his shoulder. “Had Josh,” she corrected.
His head whipped up and his mouth went dry. “What? What happened?”
“They broke off their engagement last night.”
“Why?” His voice sounded very close to a pained moan.
“Apparently he wanted to go to Somalia for Doctors Without Borders, even though he’d promised her he was done with that when he asked her to marry him. They fought and she broke it off. I went over afterwards to do damage control.” She sighed, and looked to be hesitating over something.
“What?” he asked, though he wasn’t sure why he was torturing himself by asking.
“I don’t have to tell you that she usually keeps all of her emotions bottled up inside of her. But I had to borrow a shirt from her when she was done, because I was soaked from the bucket of tears she dumped all over me. I have been her best friend since long before you came along and I have never seen her cry like that.”
“Then why are you here? If she’s so heartbroken over Josh, then what can I do? She’s not going to want to see me.”
“Maybe not at first, Castle. She won’t admit it, but she needs you.”
“How do you know?” he asked bitterly.
“Because she told me she’s tired of everyone she loves leaving her.”
Castle closed his eyes against the pain. “Josh didn’t exactly walk out on her.”
“He was going to Somalia. That’s close enough to leaving for her, even if I think she realizes now that she didn’t really want to marry him. But all she can focus on at the moment is that Josh didn’t want her enough. And neither did you.”
“God, Lanie, is that what she thinks? I left because I love her. Because I couldn’t stand to see her happy with another man. All I want is her.”
“I know that, and I told her as much. But you should have told her that.” She raised her eyebrows at him.
“How could I? She was getting married to someone else. It wasn’t exactly good timing.”
“No, you were the idiot who told her it was work-related, instead of being honest and avoiding this whole mess. For some crazy ass reason, you told her that you were never partners. You couldn’t just walk out and leave her with that, you had to rip that out of her hands, too.”
“Lanie-“
“No, it’s time you got your head out of your ass and listened.” She scooted a little closer to him on the couch to make her point. “That woman loves you so much that she stops eating and sleeping when you’re gone. And that whole fight with Josh? It was just an excuse to dump him, because she knew he wasn’t right for her. Both of you have been way too stubborn to just open up and tell each other how you feel. You dance around things, don’t talk about things, and outright lie when you’re asked a direct question. And it’s going to kill you both if you don’t do something about it. As her best friend, I will not let that happen. She knows that agreeing to marry Josh hurt you, but she can’t see past the things you said to her when you left. Or the fact that you left her in the first place. So, you are going to march your butt over there and tell her right now how you feel, or I will make good on my threat to hide your body somewhere that it will never be found.”
He winced. “Jeez, Lanie.”
“I’m serious, Castle. Don’t let her get away.”
“She’s never going to trust me again.” His heart clenched with the thought.
“Probably not at first. But you will make her trust you. You have to show her that you won’t walk away again. And then, you prove it, over and over again until she believes it.”
“Okay.”
“Today, Castle. Not tomorrow, or in a week, or in a month when you get up the balls to do it. Today. She has the day off work.”
“All right. I’ll go.”
“Like now.”
“All right, already!” He stood up from the couch and she followed him up. He stopped and looked at her for a second. “Are you sure this is going to work?”
Lanie sighed. “Yes… Probably.” She hesitated. “If you ever tell Kate I said this, I will kill you.” Lanie raised her eyebrows at him and waited until he nodded before continuing.
“Kate told me that after her mother died, that she had a hard time trusting people. Her mother didn’t have a choice in what happened to her, but after her death, Kate made the choice to be selective with her heart.”
Castle squeezed his eyes shut against the pain of that, knowing that he’d taken something so incredible - her trust - and broken it.
“But underneath all of the pain she’s in right now, and all the anger she feels, she knows why you really left, and she knows she loves you. She’s going to have a hard time trusting you now. But, you have to try. And I want you try harder than you’ve ever tried for anything in your life.”
He nodded. “I will.” Then he hesitated for a moment, before pulling her into a quick hug. “Thanks, Lanie, for coming here to tell me. And for kicking my ass into gear.”
“You’re welcome, Writer Monkey. Now move.”
He let go of her, laughing slightly, as they headed for the door together.
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Characters/Pairings: Castle/Beckett (eventually)
Word Count: 1,490
Spoiler alert: Season 3 -- this was written before season 4.
Summary: What happens to Richard Castle and Kate Beckett if she agrees to marry another man?
Author's Notes: This story takes place, let’s say around the beginning of season 4. Except in my world, Roy is still alive and Kate was never shot. Also - I’ve sort of seen this story before, so I apologize if it looks similar to anything you’ve read. But I actually got the idea from the Lady Antebellum song, “All We’d Ever Need.” This isn’t really a song-fic, but that’s where the inspiration came from. I hope you like it!
Thanks to callsign_buzz and sparkles_mouse for beta-reading! I really appreciate all your help.
----------------------------------------------------
Castle heard a knock on the door to his loft, so he placed his laptop on the coffee table, and headed towards the sound. His mind was still focused on his story, so he didn’t think to look through the peephole. Instead, he pulled the door wide open and let out an, “Oh,” of surprise.
“Writer Boy.”
“Lanie.” He cleared his throat and studied her. She’d done something different with her hair since the last time he’d seen her. “Want to come in?” he finally asked.
“As a matter of fact, I do.”
She brushed past him and entered his apartment. Castle reached up to scratch a hand through his hair, somewhat puzzled. He hadn’t seen Lanie for weeks, not since before he left Kate, and he wondered if something was wrong. His heart pounded a little harder at the thought that maybe something had happened to Kate. But no-if that were true, Lanie would look more panicked.
“So, uh, what’s up?” he asked, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. He knew this conversation was not going to be pretty, and going up against The Best Friend was a little scary.
She walked over to him and gave him a light slap on the cheek. “That’s what’s up, you jackass.”
He bobbed his head as he rubbed his cheek. It hadn’t hurt. It was more embarrassing than anything. “Yeah, I probably deserve that,” he said, as his cheeks burned a little.
“More than that,” Lanie scoffed. “I’d like to kick your ass, but there are more important things to attend to.”
Castle dropped down onto the couch and patted the space across from him. “Take a load off, Dr. Parish.”
She quirked an eyebrow at him, her arms folded across her chest, and he merely shrugged. She sighed in exasperation and sat down on the couch. “You look like hell,” she said.
He grunted. “Ha. Thanks.”
“You’re not sleeping well, huh?”
He swallowed and looked at her. “Not really.”
“Eating?”
“Nothing tastes good anymore. Or even really has a taste,” he said.
“Join the club,” Lanie said.
He raised an eyebrow. “You look well-rested to me, Lanie. And, as much as I hate to say this with the risk of being slapped again, you don’t look like you haven’t been eating.”
“Are you calling me fat?”
“No, no. See. I can’t win. I just meant that-“
“Shut it, Castle. I’m just messing with you.”
He sighed, his shoulders slumping a little with relief. “You’re a very beautiful woman. I don’t think I need to tell you that.”
“It never hurts a woman’s ego to hear it.” She grinned at him. After a moment, her face dropped all traces of humor. “I meant you can join that club with Kate.”
His eyes searched hers. “The boys told me... but that was a few weeks ago. She’s still not sleeping or eating?”
“She’s so thin you can see all the bones in her body and the bags under her eyes could hold all of her clothes for a week’s vacation.”
Castle groaned slightly and lowered his head into his hands. He rubbed the palms of his hands hard into his eyes as the guilt ate at him once again. “Fuck,” he muttered.
“Yeah. Fuck’s right. You wrecked her when you left, Castle.”
“She has Josh,” he whispered.
Lanie reached over to pat his shoulder. “Had Josh,” she corrected.
His head whipped up and his mouth went dry. “What? What happened?”
“They broke off their engagement last night.”
“Why?” His voice sounded very close to a pained moan.
“Apparently he wanted to go to Somalia for Doctors Without Borders, even though he’d promised her he was done with that when he asked her to marry him. They fought and she broke it off. I went over afterwards to do damage control.” She sighed, and looked to be hesitating over something.
“What?” he asked, though he wasn’t sure why he was torturing himself by asking.
“I don’t have to tell you that she usually keeps all of her emotions bottled up inside of her. But I had to borrow a shirt from her when she was done, because I was soaked from the bucket of tears she dumped all over me. I have been her best friend since long before you came along and I have never seen her cry like that.”
“Then why are you here? If she’s so heartbroken over Josh, then what can I do? She’s not going to want to see me.”
“Maybe not at first, Castle. She won’t admit it, but she needs you.”
“How do you know?” he asked bitterly.
“Because she told me she’s tired of everyone she loves leaving her.”
Castle closed his eyes against the pain. “Josh didn’t exactly walk out on her.”
“He was going to Somalia. That’s close enough to leaving for her, even if I think she realizes now that she didn’t really want to marry him. But all she can focus on at the moment is that Josh didn’t want her enough. And neither did you.”
“God, Lanie, is that what she thinks? I left because I love her. Because I couldn’t stand to see her happy with another man. All I want is her.”
“I know that, and I told her as much. But you should have told her that.” She raised her eyebrows at him.
“How could I? She was getting married to someone else. It wasn’t exactly good timing.”
“No, you were the idiot who told her it was work-related, instead of being honest and avoiding this whole mess. For some crazy ass reason, you told her that you were never partners. You couldn’t just walk out and leave her with that, you had to rip that out of her hands, too.”
“Lanie-“
“No, it’s time you got your head out of your ass and listened.” She scooted a little closer to him on the couch to make her point. “That woman loves you so much that she stops eating and sleeping when you’re gone. And that whole fight with Josh? It was just an excuse to dump him, because she knew he wasn’t right for her. Both of you have been way too stubborn to just open up and tell each other how you feel. You dance around things, don’t talk about things, and outright lie when you’re asked a direct question. And it’s going to kill you both if you don’t do something about it. As her best friend, I will not let that happen. She knows that agreeing to marry Josh hurt you, but she can’t see past the things you said to her when you left. Or the fact that you left her in the first place. So, you are going to march your butt over there and tell her right now how you feel, or I will make good on my threat to hide your body somewhere that it will never be found.”
He winced. “Jeez, Lanie.”
“I’m serious, Castle. Don’t let her get away.”
“She’s never going to trust me again.” His heart clenched with the thought.
“Probably not at first. But you will make her trust you. You have to show her that you won’t walk away again. And then, you prove it, over and over again until she believes it.”
“Okay.”
“Today, Castle. Not tomorrow, or in a week, or in a month when you get up the balls to do it. Today. She has the day off work.”
“All right. I’ll go.”
“Like now.”
“All right, already!” He stood up from the couch and she followed him up. He stopped and looked at her for a second. “Are you sure this is going to work?”
Lanie sighed. “Yes… Probably.” She hesitated. “If you ever tell Kate I said this, I will kill you.” Lanie raised her eyebrows at him and waited until he nodded before continuing.
“Kate told me that after her mother died, that she had a hard time trusting people. Her mother didn’t have a choice in what happened to her, but after her death, Kate made the choice to be selective with her heart.”
Castle squeezed his eyes shut against the pain of that, knowing that he’d taken something so incredible - her trust - and broken it.
“But underneath all of the pain she’s in right now, and all the anger she feels, she knows why you really left, and she knows she loves you. She’s going to have a hard time trusting you now. But, you have to try. And I want you try harder than you’ve ever tried for anything in your life.”
He nodded. “I will.” Then he hesitated for a moment, before pulling her into a quick hug. “Thanks, Lanie, for coming here to tell me. And for kicking my ass into gear.”
“You’re welcome, Writer Monkey. Now move.”
He let go of her, laughing slightly, as they headed for the door together.
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