IC: letter to the Embryon
Hey guys, I figured I was pretty bad at saying this, and I couldn’t find a good time when you were together anyway. But, I’ve made my decision.
For the moment I’m staying with Bat. I’m not going to get involved on either side of the fights anymore. It’s pretty clear that both him and you are happier fighting each other, and if I get in the way all you’ll do is worry about me. I’m planning on getting him to leave me on his own, we all know that if he finds someone better he’ll move on. This way you guys won’t worry about me, and Bat doesn’t get any more bitter about the Embryon affecting the way he lives his life.
A few times people brought up things about making up for the past and taking the easy way out, and they were right. If I wanted things to be simple I’d either choose one side or the other and try to forget that someone was getting hurt, but I can’t do that when I’d be doing it for myself as much as whatever side I went with. Honestly even if I did want to just leave Bat I couldn’t, I couldn’t honestly tell him that I wasn’t being forced to make that choice. I don’t want to think of what’d he’d try to do to the Embryon if he heard that
I still don’t know about my feelings for you guys or Bat. Bat’s never going to be a good person and I can’t stand it when he talks about what he wants to do to you, but I care about him, and it’s for some reason other then he’s interested in me. And until recently the Embryon’s been just about the closest I’ve been to anybody here, but I think you’re so used to being around each other that you don’t remember that everybody doesn’t understand how you guys work. I want to believe Gale or Heat when they say they’ll be there for me, but I remember when I woke up in the hospital and only one of you really came around. You were all worried about Cielo, but from the way you described it, I didn’t think there were comrades who were more or less important to the tribe. I’m not sure a comrade would make someone they care about choose between two things like this. But I’ve got a pretty good idea that I’m not really a comrade of most you anymore, so that makes sense.
Well, this ended up being a lot longer then I planned, but if you guys want to talk about it, you know where I live.
[Included with the note are enough @home keycards for the people who don’t have one.]