the stars we could reach were just starfish on the beach.
I need to step back from the now and put things in perspective... I don't think that anyone will really read this because myspace is where it's at these days so I feel safe enough to share my thoughts with the select few who might actually remember the EllJay.
Basically, I feel that my life is unequivocally fucked up. Wait a second, it's not my life at all, it's actually me... my life is perfect compared to most. Though, certain aspects could be better but I honestly and completely believe that it's my fault that these 'aspects' could be better. So that brings me back to my previous statement. I am not the proverbial 'screw up' that most teens are these days, most of the kids that i fuck up with these days will eventually go to college, have a family and become just another human. My biggest fear, honestly, is to stay this way and screw myself over my entire life. That seems to be the path I'm headed down and no matter how hard I try to turn back it's just like I'm going in circles. So, what to do? Do I follow that road and accept the kind of person I am or do I stay going in circles to the point where I get dizzy from wanting to change. I know the best answer would be to turn around and go the right way but from where I'm standing.. that's not an option.
Basically, I feel that my life is unequivocally fucked up. Wait a second, it's not my life at all, it's actually me... my life is perfect compared to most. Though, certain aspects could be better but I honestly and completely believe that it's my fault that these 'aspects' could be better. So that brings me back to my previous statement. I am not the proverbial 'screw up' that most teens are these days, most of the kids that i fuck up with these days will eventually go to college, have a family and become just another human. My biggest fear, honestly, is to stay this way and screw myself over my entire life. That seems to be the path I'm headed down and no matter how hard I try to turn back it's just like I'm going in circles. So, what to do? Do I follow that road and accept the kind of person I am or do I stay going in circles to the point where I get dizzy from wanting to change. I know the best answer would be to turn around and go the right way but from where I'm standing.. that's not an option.