Life!!!

[topgunmaverick]

Well have a new problem and thought I would discuss it on here. Anyone who knows me will say I am a very nice, funny, intelligent, and generous person. Yeah, I can be very vengful and mean but only when provoked. I say this not to brag but because it is important to understand the person I was to understand my situation. Well I haven't been that person lately. I have been acting like a total bitch. I know why I was doing it but I didn't know everyone saw such a big change. Apparently, everyone did though. Have you ever been in so much emotional pain that it was just easier to be someone else than to be yourself and be in so much pain. Well that happened to me recently. For those of you who don't know, I have never really had a good relationship with some of my siblings. I don't know why, we just have never really gotten along. Well I have been dealin with a lot of those issues lately. But then about 3 or 4 months ago Alex and I stopped being friends. That process has probably been more painful than almost anything I have gone through in my life. To lose someone, even if just in an emotional sense, is one of the most traumatising experiences of one's life. Well I guess, when all of that started it was just too much. I shut down and just couldn't take the pain and apparently was just awful to everyone around me. For this I am sorry. However, now everything is okay. I have decided it is better to be in pain and be yourself than to be someone else and pretend to feel better. Anyways, just really needed to apoligize if I hurt anyone's feelings for no reason. Sorry. But now I am back to my kind, generous, funny and weird self. It is kind of strange to think back over everything that has happened to me. I have had some struggles but for the majority of my life I have had it easy. My parents are the best parents ever. They have made sure that I have and always had everything I ever wanted. Not only that, but they have also always been there for me. They have supported me and loved me for every day of my life. The push me to be better and to be a good person.They love me for the person I am and have never wanted me to be someone different. They have never disappointed me and never could. They have devoted every second of their lives to making me happy.I can't even think about my life without them in it. We have so many good times between us and so many laughs. We are totally honest with each other. They are my rock and foundation. And for that I am extremely grateful. I also have some of the most wonderful people as friends. Without Vicky, I don't know what I would do. she is also my rock and foundation. She guides and pushes me to be better too. But most importantly, she loves me for who I am and supports me no matter what. The honesty between us is unfathomable. We never fight and always laugh. I can't imagine my life without her. Erin is also one of the most kind people. Her religious guidance is a true blessing. She is so sweet and supportive as well. Kelly and Christian also get a shout out. God has truly blessed me and I hope for everyone out there he blesses you all the same way.
- Love always -
Stephanie