Mostly Harmful:Part Five, last part (Doctor Who/HGTTG ficlet)
Jack sighed. “When I was a conman, I travelled to Betelgeuse and tried to con him. He saw past my trick though.”
“Ah didn’t think you were charming enough?” The Doctor asked, trying not to grin.
“Well let’s just say, he’s not like the rest of them.” Jack replied before peaking out the door. “It seems that the Vogons have taken them, should we try to...”
“No Jack, we can’t they have their own destiny while we have ours.” The Doctor replied with a smile. “Now let’s get you back to Cardiff.”
“Wait, what was this about Vogon poetry?” Donna asked putting her hands on her hips. “As it’s been awhile since I’ve read the book, why is it bad luck?”
“Well, Vogon poetry is the third worst in the universe. I had the unfortunate opportunity of sitting in on a poetry reading by Grunthos the Flatulent and his poem Ode to a small lump of green putty I found in my armpit one midsummer morning. Four audience members died of internal haemorrhaging and I seem to remember that the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is part of a race called the Azgoths of Kria and they have the reputation for having the second worst poetry in the galaxy.....”
“Who’s the first?” Jack interrupted.
“Well if Douglas Adams is to be believed, the very worst poetry perished on earth with its creator Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England.” The Doctor replied.
“Well only in a parallel universe.” Jack replied.
“Yes of course, in our universe the Daleks have been said to have mini poetry readings.”
“You got that from Mock the Week!” Jack exclaimed with a smile.
“Really? I have never watched that show.” The Doctor protested before walking over to the console. “Now let’s get you home.”
A few minutes later there was a big bang and Jack and Donna were sent to the floor while The Doctor was flung forward. After it settled the Doctor pointed to the door.
“Ok Cardiff, 2008.”
Jack nodded and walked over to the door, opened it but was met by.....
“Oh you filthy hun scum, have a piece of this.... Oh it’s you...”
“Hello Lord Flashheart....”
“What’s going on out here...?” The Doctor asked walking out. “Oh this isn’t Cardiff.”
“No Doctor, you brought us to the year 1917.” Jack replied.
“What’s going on here spaceman?” Donna asked as she stepped out of the Tardis. She stopped when she saw Lord Flashheart.”
“Oh god, it’s that man from Blackadder Goes Forth.”
The Doctor just rolled his eyes.