Gremlins (1984)
Ah, Mr. Futterman, truer words were never spoken so unpolitcally correctly. What an age 1984 must've been! I barely remember it myself, being the ripe ol' age of .. six. But I do remember Gremlins, & wishing I too could have a pet Mogwai, because they were the cutest damn things ever.
Still, what a schizophrenic movie we have here. It's almost like Evil Dead II, in that it's not sure if it's a comedy, horror, social commentary or Christmas movie. Well, scratch Christmas movie from the Evil Dead checklist anyways. There are some moments of chilling white-knuckled terror (plus the stereotypical "Black guy dies first" theme from the '80s). There are moments of another culture damning Americans (or humans, I took it as Americans) for screwing up nature. The spirit of Christmas is alive with the giving of a unique gift for a loved one, & the usual town-wide destruction that result... wait. I've said too much.
& then there's the comedy. It's like halfway through, the director (Joe Dante) decided "meh, this is alright. But what I REALLY want to see is a buncha these puppets in a bar. DRINKING, SMOKING, whatever! & they have to wear human clothes, 'cause they think they're people!" & then the ludicrousnessness... continues. Or begins, whatever, I forget.
There are some moments that had me laughing hard, just because of how ricockulous the whole scenario is. I can't believe how smart the Gremlins themselves were, making the humans look like the chumps we are. & this movie took place 20 freakin' years ago! Was there no outcry about Mr. Futterman about to drive his plow home while he was stinking drunk?!? So bizarre. Plus, the rules themselves are impossible! It's like, midnight SOMEWHERE all the time. Why would a Gremlins' metamorphisis depend on Central Standard Time?!?!
This ain't your typical Christmas movie, that's for sure. I'm tempted to watch it again with the cast commentary on, because there are so many weird aspects to the movie. This movie doesn't shove Christmas down your throat like most yuletide cinema favourites. It's like it sends Santa's little elves to wrap the Christmas lights around your neck in a garrotting-like fashion, while stabbing you in the chest with a pencil. Or not. Either way, it's a pretty enjoyable flick, but it doesn't age as well as some of it's other 80s counterparts. It's a pretty impressive special effects spectacular for 1984 though.
For the first Christmas movie review, I gotta go with 3.5 / 5 as a movie in general. 2 outta 5 as a Christmas movie.
Roger Ebert's review of Gremlins (1984)