The Astronaut Farmer (2007)
The Cast
Billy Bob Thornton ... Charles Farmer
Virginia Madsen ... Audrey 'Audie' Farmer
Max Thieriot ... Shepard Farmer
Jasper Polish ... Stanley Farmer
Logan Polish ... Sunshine Farmer
Bruce Dern ... Hal
Mark Polish ... FBI Agent Mathis
Jon Gries ... FBI Agent Killbourne
Tim Blake Nelson ... Kevin Munchak
Sal Lopez ... Pepe Garcia
J.K. Simmons ... Jacobson
Kiersten Warren ... Phyllis
Bruce Willis ... Col. Doug Masterson
I don't know who Michael Polish thinks he is, but he really stretched the nepotism thing to its breaking point with The Astronaut Farmer. Michael Polish directed and co-wrote the film with his twin brother, Mark Polish, and Mark also has a supporting role in the movie. Not to mention that Michael Polish also put his two daughters, Logan and Jasper, into the movie as the daughters of the titular character. I'm not making a big deal about this because it significantly affected my enjoyment of the film. I'm just making a big deal about it because there is so little memorable about The Astronaut Farmer that I feel the need to inject a little controversy into the production of the movie just for something to talk about.
I'm not sure if you remember when The Astronaut Farmer was about to be released into theatres, but they had these commercials playing all the time with the top-notch funny line about the Weapons of Mass Destruction being the capper. That's the best line in the movie, and they gave it away for free on TV. It didn't make anyone rush to go see the movie (it grossed just under $11 million ... total) in hopes that they'd be getting some more edgy anti-Bush administration humour, it wasn't topical anymore, it was just there. Again, just making a point to make a point, since after watching the movie I can't see how it really got made in the first place.
Let's see here, Charles Farmer (Thornton) is an almost former astronaut who's slightly jaded that he never actually got to go out into outer space. So he's building his own rocket ship on his farm, with the full support of his family and terrible friends. Well, maybe not full support, since you can tell that this whole course of action is occasionally trying his wife Audie's (Madsen) patience. And his friends are terrible for not smacking the hell out of him and telling him that it's a dumb, crazy idea. I'm all for supporting everyone's crazy dreams, however only if it is within their means or if they've got plans for how to cover the cost in the end.
This film takes so many easy-way-outs because of the small-town mentality setting that it might as well be labeled a fantasy film. No, I don't live in a small town, but I can guarantee you that even if you're best friends with a loan officer, they won't continue to give you insane amounts of money when you don't have a viable way of paying them back.... ever. There's also so much clichéd film-making on display that the movie should be studied in Film Schools about what not to do if you want to make a timeless and memorable movie. I'd say the movie was inoffensive, but that may come across as offensive to smart people.
There is absolutely nothing for me to recommend about The Astronaut Farmer. It is pedestrian film-making. It's fluff. If someone puts a gun to your head and gives you a choice between hitting your own thumb with a hammer just enough to sting for five minutes, or sitting down to watch The Astronaut Farmer in a comfortable chair, I'd really recommend you choose the hammer. It'll be over way quicker and then you're free to do other stuff, like build a house, or watch pornography perhaps. Something that is even marginally more entertaining than the blandness that is this average movie.
1.5 / 5