Halloween (2007)
Michael Myers: Tyler Mane
Michael Myers, age 10: Daeg Faerch
Laurie Strode: Scout-Taylor Compton
Dr. Samuel Loomis: Malcolm McDowell
Deborah Myers: Sheri Moon Zombie
Ronnie White: William Forsythe
Sheriff Lee Bracket: Brad Dourif
Tommy Doyal: Skyler Gisondo
Lindsay Wallace: Jenny Gregg Stewart
Annie Bracket: Danielle Harris
Lynda van der Klok: Kristina Klebe
Judith Myers: Hanna Hall
Ismael Cruz: Danny Trejo
Dimension Films presents a film written and directed by Rob Zombie. Based off the 1978 screenplay by John Carpenter and Debra Hill.
Running time: 109 minutes
Rated R for strong brutal bloody violence and terror throughout, sexual content, graphic nudity and language.
Release Date: August 31, 2007
Review Date: September 3, 2007
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In his three directorial efforts, Rob Zombie has shown that he can be plenty creative. In fact, it's only when he's creative that I feel he's any good. His shameless ripoff of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House of 1000 Corpses, was boring and laborious to sit through. However, when the script got original in The Devil's Rejects it felt fresh, if not uncomfortable. The third time doesn't prove the charm, though, as both the good and bad sides of Zombie's direction are present in Halloween.
The film actually begins with some promise. I suppose that would be the "prequel" portion of Halloween. Young Michael Myers (Faerch) is picked on both at school and home and doesn't seem to be coping with it in the most positive of ways. When he's sent home from school for hurling expletives at the principal and the discovery of his mutilated animal photos, it's clear that Michael will be going about his days differently than most 10-year-olds. Zombie understands that killing people is perfectly acceptable in 21st century film. It's killing animals that will make people think the villain is truly evil.
The first act tries to show us how big, bruising Michael Myers came to be the man he is, and it gives us a few key points. But something doesn't click. There's no real incentive for a 10-year-old boy - any 10-year-old boy - to go about murdering his enemies and members of his family. We all got picked on in school at some point and not all of us grew up in the most stable of households, but not too many of those kids are butchering everything in sight. What makes Michael Myers different?
There's no need to find out, I guess. Once the big "Fifteen Years Later" marquee gets stamped up on the screen, everything goes swirling down the drain. Halloween simply becomes, as Roger Ebert so eloquently put it, yet another "dead teenager film." That would be the "remake" portion of the film.
But, then again, Zombie is remaking the "dead teenager film." So can he really be at fault for the fact that the original Halloween has been copied from ad nauseum for the past three decades? No, but he should be aware that it's happening. Halloween in 1978 was a genre-defining picture that was unlike most anything ever put on celluloid. Halloween in 2007 degenerates into the same old garbage that has been filling theaters since the original.
I'm guessing the scary movie rule-makers from Scream were supervising the script of Halloween with a watchful eye. If you have sex, you're not going to survive. Check. If you drink or do drugs, you're not going to survive. Check. If you go out to investigate a strange noise, you're not going to survive. Actually, don't check that one.
There are no strange noises to investigate in Halloween. Despite being about nine feet tall and a good seven hundred pounds - or, at least, he looks that way - Michael Myers appears as stealthy as James Bond. How he maneuvers his way around the town - sometimes in broad daylight - without really ever being noticed or questioned remains a mystery to me. How does nobody notice this gargantuan in a creepy mask lurking so close to them? Does Michael wear magic shoes that make the floorboards not creak? He's looking for someone and I'm sure you can guess who. But how on Earth does he know where to go and how to find that someone? Did he stop by the library or ask around?
I could ask for an explanation to all of this, but it seems to warrant the same reasoning as Michael's psychopathic behavior. According to Dr. Loomis (McDowell), there is no reason. No real reason behind needing to cover his face. No real reason behind why he mercilessly butchers so many people. And, in my book, no real reason to sit through the same dull slasher flick that's been made a thousand times before.
* (out of ****)