The Break-Up (2006)
Gary Grobowski: Vince Vaughn
Brooke Meyers: Jennifer Aniston
Johnny O: Jon Favreau
Addie: Joey Lauren Adams
Dennis Grobowski: Vincent D'Onofrio
Marilyn Dean: Judy Davis
Christopher: Justin Long
Riggleman: Jason Bateman
Carson Wigham: Ivan Sergei
Lupus Grobowski: Cole Howser
Universal Pictures presents a film directed by Peyton Reed. Written by Jeremy Garelick and Jay Lavender.
Running time: 105 minutes.
Rated PG-13 for sexual content, some nudity and language.
Release Date: June 2, 2006
Review Date: November 23, 2006
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In a sane world, The Break-Up would last about five or ten minutes. It wouldn't take dates with other people, loud annoying music, and the selling of a condo to resolve an issue started by the fact that Gary (Vaughn) didn't buy enough lemons and wanted to wait until morning to do the dishes. At least I would hope not.
But, alas, for Gary and Brooke (Aniston), this is what it takes. And what an eyesore it is to be on the outside looking in at all this. The majority of the film is spent with these antics, and usually involves Gary and Brooke's friends - who are all pretty expendable as characters, with the exception of the fact that it gives others for Gary and Brooke to gripe at - rolling their eyes at the stupidity of their ex-lover's quarrel. If the characters in the film think that what's going on is stupid, what is the audience supposed to believe?
If you were dating and living with Jennifer Aniston and all she asked you to do was do the dishes to keep the relationship going, wouldn't you? Of course. But it's not as simple as all that. Gary eventually puts down his copy of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (one of 684 product placements in the film) to do the dishes, but that's not okay because Brooke had to ask. She wants him to want to do the dishes. Gary, rightfully, wants to know who on Earth actually wants to do the dishes. And so this goes on for a hundred pain-staking minutes until they finally realize what a bunch of immature idiots they both are.
There are "relationships" between middle schoolers right now with more balance and maturity than the one between Gary and Brooke. I suppose if any of the disputes in this film were actually funny, things would be different. The only time I so much as chuckled was when Gary accused Brooke's sister of being a whore and her brother of being a homosexual. I suppose just because it was so over-the-top and offensive in contrast to the rest of a rather boring film that it grabbed my attention. Maybe that means if Gary held a Ku Klux Klan meeting in the condo while Brooke let two dozen drunken, homeless people move into the living room this film would have at least had something going for it.
Instead, there's very little going for it. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston - playing characters similar to the one's they've played a hundred times or more - are, of course, capable of being liked just by showing up. I did want them to end all of this and get back together, but I feel it was more because the movie would be over rather than because I like Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston.
The only thing that should have been broken up here was the meeting at Universal when they decided to greenlight this movie.
* (out of ****)