The Goonies (1985)
The Cast
Sean Astin .... Mikey Walsh
Josh Brolin .... Brand Walsh
Jeff Cohen .... Lawrence 'Chunk' Cohen
Corey Feldman .... Clark 'Mouth' Devereaux
Kerri Green .... Andy Carmichael
Martha Plimpton .... Stef Steinbrenner
Jonathan Ke Quan .... Richard 'Data' Wang
John Matuszak .... Lotney 'Sloth' Fratelli
Robert Davi .... Jake Fratelli
Joe Pantoliano .... Francis Fratelli
Anne Ramsey .... Mama Fratelli
Mary Ellen Trainor .... Harriet Walsh
Steve Antin .... Troy Perkins
If you grew up in the '80s, chances are fairly good that you smile a little at the mention of a Baby Ruth chocolate bar. You probably have a little brief flashback inside your mind, remembering that giant mongoloid Sloth and how he was horribly mistreated by his family. Then the rest of the movie comes flooding back into your head. Chunk, Mikey, Brand, Data, Mouth, the Fratellis, Andy and Stef, Troy... Astoria... One-Eyed Willy. A treasure hunt to save the lives you love, all thanks to that klutz Chunk dropping a picture frame containing a treasure map.
Based on a story written by Steven Spielberg that was adapted into a screenplay by Chris Columbus and directed by Richard Donner (that's a lot of box office power right there), this is the tale of The Goonies, a small group of barely-teenaged misfit kids enjoying their last weekend together before the evil rich men of Astoria complete the sale to buy their property and turn it into a golf course. I may have inadvertantly made the film sound much more complicated than it actually is, but you try reviewing a movie that's become a pop culture touchstone for your generation. Come to terms with your growing adultivity and realise that many of the movies you loved in the past aren't as perfect to you as they once were.
On the surface, there's very little about The Goonies that is promblematic to dwell on. It's a pretty thrilling adventure movie, with a large cast of fun and interesting characters that feel real despite the over-the-top movie world they're living in. Mama Fratelli (Ramsey) always scared the hell out of me when I was a kid, but now I can savour every little bit of stank she put on the slaps to her son Jake (Davi). Who amongst us didn't know a kid like Mouth (Feldman), always lipping off to their elders and being an all-around smartass. You can probably remember a Chunk (Cohen) in your circle of friends, a klutzy chubby kid that just couldn't win, but you still thought was alright anyways. And we all had crushes on some sweet older high school girl like Andy (Green). Or Brand (Brolin) I guess, depending on which way you swing.
There are a couple minor quibbles with the film, most not even worth mentioning. Except for the plot contrivances that is. I realise this was a movie made for kids of a certain age (there's a hell of a lot of usage of the word "shit" though), but even when you're younger, you'll question the logic of some scene progressions. Like how did ancient Mama Fratelli make her way across the log covered in oil by Data's (Quan) slick shoes? Why did the water suddenly start to well up over that log when both Fratelli brothers had fallen on it? Did Mama Fratelli ride the waterslide down into the pirate ship cave? Spielberg and Columbus kind of sneaked those little plot developments past us when we were young, but I want answers now, dammit! Anyways, like I said, minor quibbles barely worth mentioning but still affect my overall enjoyment of the movie.
Now that this movie is 21 years old, we've all come to the realisation that we're now living on Their Time Up Here. It's very much like the Peter Pan Syndrome in that we all grow up eventually, the real world is inescapable. But every once in awhile, for a couple hours, we can sit down and relive our childhood. Sit around wishing that we could go on one of those ridiculous waterslides that the Goonies use to escape the Fratellis. Remember the days before DVDs existed and that day that we finally saw what the cut scene involving the giant rubbery octopus looked like. Days when bands like The Ataris weren't penning odes to The Goonies and when there wasn't a 20th Anniversary trip to The Goonie House. A time when we all enjoyed Corey Feldman.
4.5 / 5