When a Stranger Calls (2006)
Jill Johnson: Camilla Belle
The Stranger: Tommy Flanagan
Tiffany: Katie Cassidy
Scarlet: Tessa Thompson
Officer Burroughs: David Denman
Mr. Johnson: Clark Gregg
Sony Pictures presents a film written by Jake Wade Wall and directed by Simon West. Based off part of the 1979 screenplay by Steve Feke and Fred Walton.
Running Time: 87 minutes
Rated PG-13 for intense terror, violence and some language.
Release Date: February 6, 2006
Review Date: May 19, 2006
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With all of the remakes, carbon copies, and simply uninspired movies coming out these days, there's only one question to ask. Can things in Hollywood get any worse? If When a Stranger Calls does anything, it answers that question with an emphatic yes. Just when I think I've seen the "cream of the crap", I get another movie thrown into the hat of the absolute worst pictures I've ever seen.
In fear of cutting my life short and having my head explode, I will not spend too much time trying to think about the plot. Jill Johnson (Belle) is grounded for going over on her cell phone minutes - seriously - and is forced to spend the night babysitting in the middle of nowhere instead of partying with her friends. She goes to the house to do her job, despite there being a maid there as well who could probably just watch the kids for her - especially because the kids are sick and in bed by the time she gets there at 5 PM. I for one have gotten sick to the point where I felt like I was going to die when I was a kid, and I was never in bed and sound asleep at 5 PM. And despite the phone ringing off the hook and the alarm system going off at various points in the night, the children stay sound asleep for the majority of the film.
Nevertheless, Jill begins getting said series of phone calls - most of which are just from friends, but that doesn't stop the suspenseful horror music from playing every time the phone rings. Finally, the stranger (the same one from the title!) does call and Jill gets scared. Then, after about an hour of absolutely nothing, the police inform Jill that the call is coming from inside the house. While this was in the previews and, thus, everyone in the theater is aware of this coming in, this plot point is revealed no more than fifteen minutes before the film is over. The rest is primarily just Jill walking around the house and being scared of seemingly nothing. And entertaining guests, who come into the house left and right despite the home having a top-of-the-line alarm system.
There is nothing right with this film. It's a horror film with no horror, and - in order to keep the PG-13 rating in tact - there's no gore, nudity, or any of the other characteristics of a horror film that people would actually want to see. The film also has no spine, as nobody important gets killed and nothing is done to surprise anyone with more than seventeen brain cells. The stranger is not who you might think it is, because it's not anybody - it's just some guy. It could have been me for all you know. Nevertheless, When a Stranger Calls raked in a ton of money at the box office and - given the lack of depth and need for greed in Hollywood these days - I'm guessing a stranger will be calling back in a couple of years. And that kind of makes me want to throw up, just a little bit.
Maybe if this film were titled When a Babysitter Doesn't Pick Up The Phone I could have saved an hour and done something more fun. Like watch the grass grow.
Zero Stars (out of ****)