Top 5 Comic Book Movies I Am Least Likely To Ever See
I've reviewed a lot of comic book movies here, filling up a rather-ridiculous index for Comic Book Movies and TV Shows. To do so, I went out of my way to watch some movies based on comic books/graphic novels that I had missed, like American Splendor, Hellboy, and From Hell. I think I was gearing up to do a different list than this one, but that'll have to wait. Despite my apparent weakness for movies based on comic books, there are some that I hope to never see. There are plenty that I've never seen, and probably will never see, like Elektra or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. But even those won't make this list, as I can see a situation that I could wind up seeing them, like say they came on TV and I lost my remote control. Such is not true for these wretched five. I'd make the effort and turn off the TV manually to avoid these five.
5. AVP: Alien Vs. Predator (2004) This is probably the best film of the bunch, but since I've never seen an Alien or a Predator film, I have no reason to check this horror/sci-fi flick based on the comic books based on the movies. Especially since I'm not into horror at all.
4. Man Thing (2005)- Marvel had been doing so well with its recent move offerings, then came Elektra. Avi Arad, the producer in charge of all of Marvel's movies admits that Elektra was not a good film, considering it Marvel's only failure amongst their recent batch of films. That's because he doesn't want anyone to know about their straight-to-DVD Man-Thing release starring and directed by a bunch of people you've never heard of. Reminds me of Marvel's late 80's/early 90's straight-to-video releases, in that no one really wants to talk about them.
3. The Punisher (1989)- Speaking of Marvel straight-to-video releases, there's always the Dolph Lundgren "classic". I never really cared for the Punisher character anyway, but I did go see the 2004 feature film. Probably won't be seeing any sequels to that one. The best indicator of the 1989 version's usefulness as a comic book movie is this: they never put him in a skull t-shirt. The makers of this film had so little respect for the source material that they avoided using a cool, easy-to-replicate, merchandisable, realistic costume. I get not putting him in tights, but no skull? Utter bullshit.
2. Howard the Duck (1986)- Hailed by some as one of the worst movies ever, and one of the biggest flops ever. That should be enough to keep me away from it. That, and the fact that I can't even conceive of a way I'd have a chance to see it. I think it'd be easier to get my hands on Roger Corman's never-released 1994 Fantastic Four movie. Of course, never having seen Howard, I'm not entirely convinced that it's the worst film that George Lucas has been associated with.
1. Judge Dredd (1995)- Yeah, I know... this is kinda like shooting fish in a barrel. I could've just loaded this list with turkeys like Dredd, Steel, and Tank Girl, but that wouldn't have been that interesting. Dredd deserves mention though, since it was a major release, with a big movie star, and features Rob Schneider. But why this really deserves mention is that some comic book movie websites are reporting that a sequel is in the works. *shudder* If this fucking movie gets a sequel and Serenity doesn't, then I quit. According to IMDb trivia for this flick, director Danny Cannon "was so disheartened over his constant creative disputes with Sylvester Stallone that he swore he would never again work with another big-name actor". Take that, Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Other Dishonourable Mentions: Spawn, Garfield, Captain America (1991), Richie Rich, any straight-to-video sequel of The Crow
5. AVP: Alien Vs. Predator (2004) This is probably the best film of the bunch, but since I've never seen an Alien or a Predator film, I have no reason to check this horror/sci-fi flick based on the comic books based on the movies. Especially since I'm not into horror at all.
4. Man Thing (2005)- Marvel had been doing so well with its recent move offerings, then came Elektra. Avi Arad, the producer in charge of all of Marvel's movies admits that Elektra was not a good film, considering it Marvel's only failure amongst their recent batch of films. That's because he doesn't want anyone to know about their straight-to-DVD Man-Thing release starring and directed by a bunch of people you've never heard of. Reminds me of Marvel's late 80's/early 90's straight-to-video releases, in that no one really wants to talk about them.
3. The Punisher (1989)- Speaking of Marvel straight-to-video releases, there's always the Dolph Lundgren "classic". I never really cared for the Punisher character anyway, but I did go see the 2004 feature film. Probably won't be seeing any sequels to that one. The best indicator of the 1989 version's usefulness as a comic book movie is this: they never put him in a skull t-shirt. The makers of this film had so little respect for the source material that they avoided using a cool, easy-to-replicate, merchandisable, realistic costume. I get not putting him in tights, but no skull? Utter bullshit.
2. Howard the Duck (1986)- Hailed by some as one of the worst movies ever, and one of the biggest flops ever. That should be enough to keep me away from it. That, and the fact that I can't even conceive of a way I'd have a chance to see it. I think it'd be easier to get my hands on Roger Corman's never-released 1994 Fantastic Four movie. Of course, never having seen Howard, I'm not entirely convinced that it's the worst film that George Lucas has been associated with.
1. Judge Dredd (1995)- Yeah, I know... this is kinda like shooting fish in a barrel. I could've just loaded this list with turkeys like Dredd, Steel, and Tank Girl, but that wouldn't have been that interesting. Dredd deserves mention though, since it was a major release, with a big movie star, and features Rob Schneider. But why this really deserves mention is that some comic book movie websites are reporting that a sequel is in the works. *shudder* If this fucking movie gets a sequel and Serenity doesn't, then I quit. According to IMDb trivia for this flick, director Danny Cannon "was so disheartened over his constant creative disputes with Sylvester Stallone that he swore he would never again work with another big-name actor". Take that, Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Other Dishonourable Mentions: Spawn, Garfield, Captain America (1991), Richie Rich, any straight-to-video sequel of The Crow