Film Review: You Only Live Twice
You Only Live Twice (1967)
Starring: Sean Connery, Teru Shimada, Donald Pleasence
Directed by: Lewis Gilbert
So after Saint's review of Austin Powers, I've got a review of the 'original' film to include a hollowed out volcano, You Only Live Twice. Kinda makes you think we planned the whole thing, donnit?
I have fascination with Japan. I've never been there of course, because that would ruin all the mystique that it holds in my eyes. Yet I'm absolutely enthralled by looking at pictures of Japan, Japanese pop culture, Japanese film, puroresu, and most importantly... J-ROCK! I'm also a fan of any Western movie that happens to be set in the land of the rising sun. Black Rain to Lost In Translation, chances are, if there's a white boy running around the neon streets of Tokyo, I'm a fanboy over it.
That said, even the gorgeous setting of Japan cannot save You Only Live Twice from the turkey pile.
The plot is typically over the top, and plays on the heightened sense of paranoia that circled the globe during the Cold War. Russia and the United States both lose space faring vessels within a short period of time, and end up accusing each other of sabotage. Of course, it takes the magnificent diplomatic skills of Great Britain to let the superpowers know that the mysterious rocket that destroyed both spacecrafts was actually tracked on satellite from somewhere over the Sea of Japan... and that they've sent their best man in to investigate. This begins one of the best pre-title sequences in Bond film history, where our main hero is 'killed' before the opening credits roll (a tactic blatantly lifted by a plethora of other films over the years).
It should also be noted that the opening credits contains perhaps the most beautiful Bond theme ever done, "You Only Live Twice" by Nancy Sinatra. Now, this could potentially be as lame as a album reviewer mentioning how cool a music video for a track is, but since the theme is typically a relevant part of a Bond movie, I think it's acceptable. John Barry's score is, as per usual, fantastic, and really captures the 'feel' of Japan and it's culture. The cinematography (oh no! mightygodking will smite us all!!!) is another high point, the lush landscapes, glowing lights, and orange skies that flash across the screen are something you could get lost in... and you probably will, because besides the aesthetic things, YOLT is boring.
No, really. Thunderball is often regarded as the 'slowest moving' Bond film because of all the underwater action, but at least I can stay awake through the entirety of that film. YOLT is the Bond movie I pop in the DVD player if I'm in dire need of a good sleep. Even if I'm wide awake and have the adrenaline pumping, I still can't keep my eyes open the entire time. The action scenes are inane, the dialogue in between the overly long set pieces is stiff and unmemorable, and to make matters worse, many of the non-English speaking actors are dubbed worse than a Godzilla movie. Normally dubbing doesn't bother me, but when it becomes horribly distracting, it's a problem.
That's only scratching the surface with my gripes against YOLT: The screenplay was written by a then rookie screenwriter, Roald Dahl (as opposed to Richard Maibaum), who ignored most of the source material from Ian Fleming's best Bond novel and decided to write a story based around a number of action set pieces instead of the other way round. The 'at last' moment when the leader of SPECTRE, Blofeld, is finally revealed is a huge disappointment. In two previous films, he was an unseen menacing figure, someone feared by even the toughest, most ruthless killers on the planet. In YOLT, well, you saw how much comedy Mike Myers got out of mocking Donald Pleasence in this film some thirty years later... I don't find Blofeld a match for Bond at all. Finally, the phoned in performance from Sean Connery sucks any potential life away from the rest of the movie. At this point in his life, he was bored with the part of Agent 007, and the frenzied Japanese media at the time didn't help matters, refusing to call him by his name, they hounded 'James Bond' wherever the filming went. When a stalking journalist followed him into a bathroom stall, Connery finally snapped. He quit the part soon after finishing this film.
You would think that any film containing pretty Japanese girls, NINJAS(!!!), and James motherfucking Bond would be a perfect 10 in my eyes, but sadly, You Only Live Twice is a major let down. However, the follow-up to this film would more than make up for it, even without Sean Connery on board.
4.5/10
Buy You Only Live Twice from DVD Empire