Movie Review: Kingpin (1996)
Kingpin (1996)
Starring: Woody Harrelson, Randy Quaid, Vanessa Angel, Bill Murray, Chris Elliott
Directed by: Bobby and Peter Farrelly
Before I start, I need to thank theskooch for lending me DVDs from time to time. He doesn't force me to watch them, I ask to borrow them of my own volition. Until tonight, I'd never seen Kingpin, so if he didn't lend it to me, I'd never have seen it. I feel like I should thank him because I seem to be trashing all the movies he lends me, and I don't want to seem ungrateful. I'm worried that I'll hurt his feelings, since he obviously liked the movies enough to own them, and not in that fun way of hurting Skooch's feelings.
With that out of the way, I'm ready to consider Kingpin as a contender for the title "Worst Movie I've Ever Seen". It was god-fucking-awful. The only reason I watched the whole thing is so I could see Bill Murray's (the reason I borrowed it) scene at the end, and so I could fully trash it here. Making it to the end of the film (which is only 117 minutes) was a Herculean feat for me, and I sit here knowing that it is 117 minutes that I will never get back, and I must now dedicate more time making sure that none of it scars my memory.
Since it is a Farrelly brothers film, I wasn't expecting high art. But, I've enjoyed the other two Farrelly brothers films I've seen in full (There's Something About Mary and Dumb and Dumber). I was expecting a wacky comedy that made me laugh and some crude content that made me laugh in spite of myself. Instead, I found the movie remarkably unfunny, and there were scenes in the film that genuinely made me want to vomit. And not in that ha-ha way.
More than being unfunny, it was completely uninspired. Once you get past the Amish bowler taught by a washed-up former bowler with a rubber hand concept of the movie, there is no joke remotely resembling anything original. You could see the jokes coming from a mile away, making me long for the subtle nuance of, say, A Night at the Roxbury.
Let's try to find some positives: Vanessa Angel made a few scenes with her bouncy bimbo part watchable. But this isn't because of her acting abilities, which ranged from terrible to serviceable. There's a reason why this steaming pile of elephant dung is the most notable performance of her career. What else? Woody Harrelson bought into his shitty character. Bill Murray mailed his in, mostly relying on a bad hairpiece joke that had already been exhausted by Harrelson's character 20 minutes into the movie. Hmmm... I like the opening sequence with Woody bowling in the 70's like a disco star, except that the accompanying animated credits were distracting and out of place. Oh, and I liked when Bill Murray [SPOILER ALERT] won at the end of the film, and said something along the lines of "finally I'm above the law". That drew a chuckle. Also, Roger Clemens had a cameo. Too bad I fucking hate that guy.
So, for Angel's boobs, a 2 minute bowling scene, and one piece of dialogue, I give this film half a star out of five.
0.5/5