WWF Royal Rumble 2000
With the annual Royal Rumble occurring this Sunday, I thought a look back at some recent Rumbles might be good for retrospect. Hopefully more to come this week, & I rate wrestling events by how much I was entertained.
Kurt Angle vs. TBA Opponent : TBA turns out to be Tazz, making his first WWF appearance with his awesome theme music. Match turns into a suplex-fest, & Tazz was pretty much screwed as a WWF wrestler from his first match. Ref "stopped" the match apparently at 3:15 with Tazz "choking out" Angle. 1.5 / 5
Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boyz - Tag Team Table Match : Terri Runnels was still with the Hardyz at this point, & Buh Buh hadn't lost his ECW stutter. Match was a back & forth spotfest that highlighted the Dudleyz ECW-style brutality & the Hardyz insanity. Ending was a little anti-climatic, but it was basically a mini-TLC match, with the Hardyz winning after 10:18 of action. 3.5 / 5
Miss Rumble 2000 - Ivory, Terri Runnels, Jacqueline, B.B., Luna, The Kat & Mae Young in a bikini contest: First deadman sighting of the night, with Classy Freddy Blassie's appearance as a judge. Hey, Andy Richter's one of the judges too! Count the implants! Ivory's alright, Terri's a whore, Jacqueline's a dirty slut, B.B.'s relatively unremarkable, Luna refuses to strip (thank fucking god), Lawler's wife will do anything... ANYTHING, & Mae is disgusting & victorious. Waste of digital video technology. 0 / 5
Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly - Triple Threat IC Title Match : I can't remember why, but Y2J & Chyna were co-IC champions. Jericho had an awesome entrance even five years ago. Jericho was still using the awesomely painful version of the Liontamer. Goddamn was Chyna a terrible "wrestler." Jericho wins with a Lionsault on Chyna at 7:30 to regain the IC title all for himself.
New Age Outlaws vs. The Acolytes - Tag Titles Match : 3 out of the 4 wrestlers in this match are gone from WWE, two of them very thankfully. The one left is currently World Champion over on SmackDown! This was also back during Billy Gunn's horrible Mr. Ass phase. Whoever thought that see-through pink tights with a thong on a dude was a good idea should be curb-stomped. Gunn pins Bradshaw after the Fameasser at 2:36 to retain the tag titles. 1 / 5
Cactus Jack vs. Triple H - World Title Street Fight : Ahhh, back before Trips wasn't hated on the 'Net, back when he wasn't so tubby & he was only in a fake marriage with Stephanie McMahon. Awesome match that featured a guest spot by The Rock, & Trips getting his calf punctured by a frickin' nail. Also, the debut of the 2x4 wrapped in "barbed wire." Why they needed a ref bump in a street fight match boggles my mind. Trips bleeds like a stuck pig about 12 mintues in, & Foley makes him look like a god, even going so far as to allow himself to be handcuffed by Trips, a big no-no in the Foley household after the traumatic debacle the year before. I'm surprised Trips wasn't killed by the piledriver that didn't break the announcer's table. Then that sick fuck Foley takes a Pedigree on thumbtacks to lose at 26:51. 4.5 / 5
Order of elimination, number in brackets is postion entered:
1. Headbanger Mosh (3) by Rikishi, 2:41 total time
2. Christian (4) by Rikishi, 2:15 total time, Rikishi's 2nd elimination
3. D'Lo Brown (1) by Rikishi, 5:51 total time, Rikishi's 3rd elimination
4. Grand Master Sexay (2) by Rikishi, 8:18 total time, Rikishi's 4th elimination
5. Scotty 2 Hotty (6) by Rikishi, 1:05 total time, Rikishi's 5th elimination
6. Steve Blackman (7) by Rikishi, 0:48 total time, Rikishi's 6th elimination
7. Viscera (8) by Rikishi, 1:41 total time, Rikishi's 7th elimination - most eliminations
8. Rikishi (5) by everyone in the ring, 16:31 total time
9. Bob Backlund (14) by Chris Jericho, 1:45 total time
10. Chris Jericho (15) by Chyna, 3:58 total time
11. Chyna (17) by Big Boss Man, 0:50 total time
12. Faarooq (18) by Boss Man, 0:24 total time, Boss Man's 2nd elimination - shortest time of the night
13. Davey Boy Smith (11) by Road Dogg, 15:25 total time
14. Edge (13) by Al Snow & Val Venis, 14:51 total time
15. Big Boss Man (9) by The Rock, 24:56 total time
16. Crash Holly (16) by The Rock, 15:00 total time, Rock's 2nd elimination
17. Test (10) by Big Show, 26:51 total time - longest time of the night
18. Gangrel (12) by Big Show, 23:35 total time, Show's 2nd elimination
19. Bradshaw (27) by New Age Outlaws, 0:34 total time
20. Val Venis (21) by Kane, 11:51 total time
21. Prince Albert (22) by Kane, 11:24 total time, Kane's 2nd elimination
22. Hardcore Holly (23) by Al Snow, 11:56 total time, Snow's 2nd elimination
23. Godfather (29) by Big Show, 2:36 total time, Show's 3rd elimination
24. Al Snow (20) by Rock, 17:51 total time, Rock's 3rd elimination
25. Road Dogg (19) by Mr. Ass, 19:04 total time
26. Mr. Ass (25) by Kane, 9:41 total time, Kane's 3rd elimination
27. Kane (28) by X-Pac, 6:30 total time
28. X-Pac (30) by Big Show, 3:30 total time, Show's 4th elimination
29. Big Show (26) by Rock, 11:26 total time, Rock's 4th elimination
The Rock (24) wins the Royal Rumble, 14:52 total time, which was pretty much a foregone conclusion when the World Title shot at WrestleMania is on the line. Alright Rumble, if you don't count the dead weight & the dancing at the beginning. 3 / 5
Boss Man at #9 is the 2nd deadman of the night, followed by Davey Boy at #11, & Crash Holly at #16. This Rumble doesn't have as high of a mortality rate apparently.
The whole PPV doesn't score well with me, but I always enjoy a good ol' Royal Rumble. 2.2 / 5
Kurt Angle vs. TBA Opponent : TBA turns out to be Tazz, making his first WWF appearance with his awesome theme music. Match turns into a suplex-fest, & Tazz was pretty much screwed as a WWF wrestler from his first match. Ref "stopped" the match apparently at 3:15 with Tazz "choking out" Angle. 1.5 / 5
Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boyz - Tag Team Table Match : Terri Runnels was still with the Hardyz at this point, & Buh Buh hadn't lost his ECW stutter. Match was a back & forth spotfest that highlighted the Dudleyz ECW-style brutality & the Hardyz insanity. Ending was a little anti-climatic, but it was basically a mini-TLC match, with the Hardyz winning after 10:18 of action. 3.5 / 5
Miss Rumble 2000 - Ivory, Terri Runnels, Jacqueline, B.B., Luna, The Kat & Mae Young in a bikini contest: First deadman sighting of the night, with Classy Freddy Blassie's appearance as a judge. Hey, Andy Richter's one of the judges too! Count the implants! Ivory's alright, Terri's a whore, Jacqueline's a dirty slut, B.B.'s relatively unremarkable, Luna refuses to strip (thank fucking god), Lawler's wife will do anything... ANYTHING, & Mae is disgusting & victorious. Waste of digital video technology. 0 / 5
Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly - Triple Threat IC Title Match : I can't remember why, but Y2J & Chyna were co-IC champions. Jericho had an awesome entrance even five years ago. Jericho was still using the awesomely painful version of the Liontamer. Goddamn was Chyna a terrible "wrestler." Jericho wins with a Lionsault on Chyna at 7:30 to regain the IC title all for himself.
New Age Outlaws vs. The Acolytes - Tag Titles Match : 3 out of the 4 wrestlers in this match are gone from WWE, two of them very thankfully. The one left is currently World Champion over on SmackDown! This was also back during Billy Gunn's horrible Mr. Ass phase. Whoever thought that see-through pink tights with a thong on a dude was a good idea should be curb-stomped. Gunn pins Bradshaw after the Fameasser at 2:36 to retain the tag titles. 1 / 5
Cactus Jack vs. Triple H - World Title Street Fight : Ahhh, back before Trips wasn't hated on the 'Net, back when he wasn't so tubby & he was only in a fake marriage with Stephanie McMahon. Awesome match that featured a guest spot by The Rock, & Trips getting his calf punctured by a frickin' nail. Also, the debut of the 2x4 wrapped in "barbed wire." Why they needed a ref bump in a street fight match boggles my mind. Trips bleeds like a stuck pig about 12 mintues in, & Foley makes him look like a god, even going so far as to allow himself to be handcuffed by Trips, a big no-no in the Foley household after the traumatic debacle the year before. I'm surprised Trips wasn't killed by the piledriver that didn't break the announcer's table. Then that sick fuck Foley takes a Pedigree on thumbtacks to lose at 26:51. 4.5 / 5
Order of elimination, number in brackets is postion entered:
1. Headbanger Mosh (3) by Rikishi, 2:41 total time
2. Christian (4) by Rikishi, 2:15 total time, Rikishi's 2nd elimination
3. D'Lo Brown (1) by Rikishi, 5:51 total time, Rikishi's 3rd elimination
4. Grand Master Sexay (2) by Rikishi, 8:18 total time, Rikishi's 4th elimination
5. Scotty 2 Hotty (6) by Rikishi, 1:05 total time, Rikishi's 5th elimination
6. Steve Blackman (7) by Rikishi, 0:48 total time, Rikishi's 6th elimination
7. Viscera (8) by Rikishi, 1:41 total time, Rikishi's 7th elimination - most eliminations
8. Rikishi (5) by everyone in the ring, 16:31 total time
9. Bob Backlund (14) by Chris Jericho, 1:45 total time
10. Chris Jericho (15) by Chyna, 3:58 total time
11. Chyna (17) by Big Boss Man, 0:50 total time
12. Faarooq (18) by Boss Man, 0:24 total time, Boss Man's 2nd elimination - shortest time of the night
13. Davey Boy Smith (11) by Road Dogg, 15:25 total time
14. Edge (13) by Al Snow & Val Venis, 14:51 total time
15. Big Boss Man (9) by The Rock, 24:56 total time
16. Crash Holly (16) by The Rock, 15:00 total time, Rock's 2nd elimination
17. Test (10) by Big Show, 26:51 total time - longest time of the night
18. Gangrel (12) by Big Show, 23:35 total time, Show's 2nd elimination
19. Bradshaw (27) by New Age Outlaws, 0:34 total time
20. Val Venis (21) by Kane, 11:51 total time
21. Prince Albert (22) by Kane, 11:24 total time, Kane's 2nd elimination
22. Hardcore Holly (23) by Al Snow, 11:56 total time, Snow's 2nd elimination
23. Godfather (29) by Big Show, 2:36 total time, Show's 3rd elimination
24. Al Snow (20) by Rock, 17:51 total time, Rock's 3rd elimination
25. Road Dogg (19) by Mr. Ass, 19:04 total time
26. Mr. Ass (25) by Kane, 9:41 total time, Kane's 3rd elimination
27. Kane (28) by X-Pac, 6:30 total time
28. X-Pac (30) by Big Show, 3:30 total time, Show's 4th elimination
29. Big Show (26) by Rock, 11:26 total time, Rock's 4th elimination
The Rock (24) wins the Royal Rumble, 14:52 total time, which was pretty much a foregone conclusion when the World Title shot at WrestleMania is on the line. Alright Rumble, if you don't count the dead weight & the dancing at the beginning. 3 / 5
Boss Man at #9 is the 2nd deadman of the night, followed by Davey Boy at #11, & Crash Holly at #16. This Rumble doesn't have as high of a mortality rate apparently.
The whole PPV doesn't score well with me, but I always enjoy a good ol' Royal Rumble. 2.2 / 5