You are so annoying
JACK
“You are so annoying, Daniel! You never listen to me.”
No, that sounds too childish.
“Daniel, you must listen to me; you are putting us all in danger.”
But that’s not usually true, it’s only Daniel that Daniel puts in danger.
“Daniel, we need to talk. You must make more effort to listen to me.”
Hmmm, no, that’s no good, he will just say that he made the effort to listen to me but went ahead and did it anyway!
“Daniel, about that stunt you pulled last week? How about you listen to me for a change? I am your CO after all.”
No, that comes over too military and he’ll just flutter those eyelashes at me, smile coyly and declare that he never subscribed to the military anyway. Oh, Daniel, what am I going to do with you?
DANIEL
I’m in for it now; should never have run after that youngster. Got us all in a mess again, totally my fault. Jack’s gonna kill me, well, not so much but he sure won’t be happy. Took all of my fast talking to get us out of that one and I shouldn’t have had to. Damn it! Why can’t I think before I act?
OK, how to apologise.
“Jack, I’m sorry about going after that youngster and getting us all in such a mess, please forgive me?”
No, that sounds too trite and condescending.
“Jack, we need to talk …”
Um, didn’t get very far with that one. How about:
“Jack, I know you think I got us all into that mess on the last mission but I really couldn’t let that youngster go without explanation.”
No, that sounds as though I think I was right. But, I think I was right, just that Jack thinks I wasn’t. And if I think I am right, why am I apologising? I have got to get this right - I am not apologising for doing what I did, I am apologising for getting us into a situation which could have gotten extremely tricky. So…
“Jack, I’m sorry I got us into a tricky situation on our last mission but I still believe that I took the only course of action I could and I did get us out of there eventually.”
Too whiny? Too aggressive?
*****
Daniel continued to pace his office, chewing his pencil tip and gesticulating wildly. In his heart of hearts, he knew he was in the wrong. The youngster had been extremely rude to Sam but, in the presence of the Darternans, he should have let them deal with it, not gone after the guy to berate him for words and gestures. Sam was a big girl and could look after herself but Daniel’s sense of honour would not let him let it go. Consequently, SG1 had found themselves in the Darternian prison and only very fast talking by Daniel had got them released 48 hours later. Jack had been especially cranky, Sam apologetic for not dealing with the kid herself and Teal’c, well Teal’c was his usual stoic self, watching and listening to every nuance and language, both verbal and body.
Daniel knew Jack would be along soon. They had been released after their post mission check, de-briefing done but Hammond had asked to see Jack. Now Daniel was bouncing, waiting for Jack to pounce. He didn’t have to wait much longer.
*****
Jack walked towards Daniel’s office with a grim face. He’d finished talking to Hammond, has paid a visit to the facilities to think about what to say to Daniel and decided that this needed to be done off base. He reached the door and lent on the frame; Daniel was still pacing, muttering to himself, oblivious to Jack’s presence.
“Oh, Daniel.” He sing-songed.
“Jack.”
“My place, 18:00,” and he was gone.
Daniel sat done with a whoosh. Papers went flying, the pencil hitting the desk and ricocheting off a shelf.
“I’m in for it now,” he mused and glanced at his watch, deciding that, as it was heading towards 5pm already, he’d get a move on and at least buy some beer as a peace offering.
*****
Jack let him in and took the 6 pack peace offering and with “I ordered pizza” thrown over his shoulder at Daniel, he disappeared into the kitchen. Daniel wandered into the living room and perched on the edge of the sofa; he got up and stood by the fireplace. He wandered over to the window then sat down again. Why was Jack keeping him waiting?
In the kitchen, Jack stood with the fridge open. What was he going to do with Daniel? If he was honest, he didn’t want to change him. He was already too far from the innocent geek that had opened the Stargate and he wasn’t a soldier, he was their heart and soul, their balance when things got tough, their negotiator, his friend, his best friend, his soul mate - where did that come from? Shaking his head to get himself together, Jack grabbed two beers and closed the fridge, heading back to the living room. Daniel was, by now, pacing.
“Jack, I know…”
“”Hold it right there, Daniel, I need you to listen to me.”
“Jack?”
“Please Daniel, just promise me that you will give me a hearing.”
“OK, Jack, fire away.”
“Daniel …… you, you’re our heart and soul, you are my conscience and I need you to be that but PLEASE, please, please, stop putting yourself in the line of fire. The SGC needs you SG1 needs you, I need you. We were only part of a whole when you were … not here, ascended, whatever. Just try to listen to me, please?”
“What, you’re not gonna tear me out, throw me off SG1, leave me behind, put me on report?” Silence.
“Hang on, back up a bit, I’m … YOU need me? I think you are gonna have to explain that one Jack. You and I, we have this, call it an ‘odd relationship’. I hope we are still friends, even best friends and we are colleagues and work partners but … you need me? Why’s that Jack? When have you ever felt that you needed me? I thought I was the proverbial pain in the ass, the thorn in your side, the noose around your neck…..” Daniel ran out of steam, especially as Jack was advancing on him. Daniel stepped back, then again until he was stopped by the sofa. Jack continued to advance.
“Jack, please, physical violence won’t get you anywhere. I know we don’t always see eye to eye but …”
“Shut up, Daniel.”
“Uh oh - I hate it when you say that. What have I got to do to …”
“Daniel, if you don’t stop talking I’ll …”
“You’ll what, Jack? Hit me, knock me over, hit me with that bottle of beer you are carrying?” Jack looked at the bottle, put it down and continued to advance. Daniel continued to nervously waffle on about what Jack might want to do to him. Jack had had enough and did the only thing he could think of to stop Daniel talking, he kissed him.
Daniel froze. It had just been a chaste kiss, soft on the lips but full of promise. Jack stepped back. Daniel opened his mouth a few times but nothing came out.
“That’s better,” stated Jack, standing back but putting his hands on Daniel’s shoulders. “Stop aping a guppy and look at me.” Daniel did exactly as he was told and looked Jack straight in the eyes.
“You kissed me!” he eventually declared.
“Only way I could think of to shut you up, Danny. Shame I can’t make a habit of it.”
“And why not?” Daniel declared.
“Daniel, two straight guys here!” Jack waved a finger between them.
“Who says?”
Jack faltered. He had always presumed Daniel was straight - after all, he’d been married and he’d obviously been with that Sarah/Osiris girl/woman/snake and then there was Ke’ra and Shyla - girl on every planet, that’s our Daniel. Jack knew he himself had dabbled in what he called buddy fucking and he also knew that he felt far more for Daniel than he should but what on earth had made him think kissing Daniel would a) shut him up and b) be the right thing to do? Daniel was waiting for an answer. Jack took his hands from Daniel’s shoulder and turned away as he said,
“Well, you are, aren’t you?”
“Doesn’t mean I haven’t tried. There’s this label and, although I don’t like labels, sometimes I need to SPELL IT OUT TO YOUR THICK SKULL that there is this thing called bisexuality. Do you really think, Jack, that as an anthropologist, I wouldn’t be the least bit curious about male bonding and relationships? The Greeks were at it all the time, it is not a sin and it is actually quite pleasurable ….” He tailed off. “Too much information, huh?”
They stared each other out.
“So, you’re not opposed to thinking about the possibility of maybe having what would be classed as a homosexual relationship … with another man?”
“That’s what homosexual means, Jack.”
“Yeah, I knew that.”
“So, where do we go from here, Jack? I come over here expecting earache and chewing out after a mission I nearly screwed up and you kiss me?”
“Yeah, life’s funny like that!”
“Can I do it back?”
“Do what back?”
“”Kiss you?”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Dani….” Daniel launched himself at Jack and plastered his body against his friend, kissing him with all the love and passion that had just been released from the constant UST that plagued the pair. Jack’s body responded in response to Daniel’s and, within seconds was giving as good as he was getting. Hands were everywhere as clothes were divested and Jack was urging Daniel up the few stairs and along the hall to his bedroom. They fell together across the bed, frantically groping and kissing like teenagers until Daniel suddenly froze then whispered Jack’s name and came all over their bellies. Jack followed suit and they clung to each other as though their lives depended on it.
The doorbell rang.
“Uh, that’ll be the pizza.”
“Like me and you, pizza’s good in bed too, Jack!” There was no going back now!
“You are so annoying, Daniel! You never listen to me.”
No, that sounds too childish.
“Daniel, you must listen to me; you are putting us all in danger.”
But that’s not usually true, it’s only Daniel that Daniel puts in danger.
“Daniel, we need to talk. You must make more effort to listen to me.”
Hmmm, no, that’s no good, he will just say that he made the effort to listen to me but went ahead and did it anyway!
“Daniel, about that stunt you pulled last week? How about you listen to me for a change? I am your CO after all.”
No, that comes over too military and he’ll just flutter those eyelashes at me, smile coyly and declare that he never subscribed to the military anyway. Oh, Daniel, what am I going to do with you?
DANIEL
I’m in for it now; should never have run after that youngster. Got us all in a mess again, totally my fault. Jack’s gonna kill me, well, not so much but he sure won’t be happy. Took all of my fast talking to get us out of that one and I shouldn’t have had to. Damn it! Why can’t I think before I act?
OK, how to apologise.
“Jack, I’m sorry about going after that youngster and getting us all in such a mess, please forgive me?”
No, that sounds too trite and condescending.
“Jack, we need to talk …”
Um, didn’t get very far with that one. How about:
“Jack, I know you think I got us all into that mess on the last mission but I really couldn’t let that youngster go without explanation.”
No, that sounds as though I think I was right. But, I think I was right, just that Jack thinks I wasn’t. And if I think I am right, why am I apologising? I have got to get this right - I am not apologising for doing what I did, I am apologising for getting us into a situation which could have gotten extremely tricky. So…
“Jack, I’m sorry I got us into a tricky situation on our last mission but I still believe that I took the only course of action I could and I did get us out of there eventually.”
Too whiny? Too aggressive?
*****
Daniel continued to pace his office, chewing his pencil tip and gesticulating wildly. In his heart of hearts, he knew he was in the wrong. The youngster had been extremely rude to Sam but, in the presence of the Darternans, he should have let them deal with it, not gone after the guy to berate him for words and gestures. Sam was a big girl and could look after herself but Daniel’s sense of honour would not let him let it go. Consequently, SG1 had found themselves in the Darternian prison and only very fast talking by Daniel had got them released 48 hours later. Jack had been especially cranky, Sam apologetic for not dealing with the kid herself and Teal’c, well Teal’c was his usual stoic self, watching and listening to every nuance and language, both verbal and body.
Daniel knew Jack would be along soon. They had been released after their post mission check, de-briefing done but Hammond had asked to see Jack. Now Daniel was bouncing, waiting for Jack to pounce. He didn’t have to wait much longer.
*****
Jack walked towards Daniel’s office with a grim face. He’d finished talking to Hammond, has paid a visit to the facilities to think about what to say to Daniel and decided that this needed to be done off base. He reached the door and lent on the frame; Daniel was still pacing, muttering to himself, oblivious to Jack’s presence.
“Oh, Daniel.” He sing-songed.
“Jack.”
“My place, 18:00,” and he was gone.
Daniel sat done with a whoosh. Papers went flying, the pencil hitting the desk and ricocheting off a shelf.
“I’m in for it now,” he mused and glanced at his watch, deciding that, as it was heading towards 5pm already, he’d get a move on and at least buy some beer as a peace offering.
*****
Jack let him in and took the 6 pack peace offering and with “I ordered pizza” thrown over his shoulder at Daniel, he disappeared into the kitchen. Daniel wandered into the living room and perched on the edge of the sofa; he got up and stood by the fireplace. He wandered over to the window then sat down again. Why was Jack keeping him waiting?
In the kitchen, Jack stood with the fridge open. What was he going to do with Daniel? If he was honest, he didn’t want to change him. He was already too far from the innocent geek that had opened the Stargate and he wasn’t a soldier, he was their heart and soul, their balance when things got tough, their negotiator, his friend, his best friend, his soul mate - where did that come from? Shaking his head to get himself together, Jack grabbed two beers and closed the fridge, heading back to the living room. Daniel was, by now, pacing.
“Jack, I know…”
“”Hold it right there, Daniel, I need you to listen to me.”
“Jack?”
“Please Daniel, just promise me that you will give me a hearing.”
“OK, Jack, fire away.”
“Daniel …… you, you’re our heart and soul, you are my conscience and I need you to be that but PLEASE, please, please, stop putting yourself in the line of fire. The SGC needs you SG1 needs you, I need you. We were only part of a whole when you were … not here, ascended, whatever. Just try to listen to me, please?”
“What, you’re not gonna tear me out, throw me off SG1, leave me behind, put me on report?” Silence.
“Hang on, back up a bit, I’m … YOU need me? I think you are gonna have to explain that one Jack. You and I, we have this, call it an ‘odd relationship’. I hope we are still friends, even best friends and we are colleagues and work partners but … you need me? Why’s that Jack? When have you ever felt that you needed me? I thought I was the proverbial pain in the ass, the thorn in your side, the noose around your neck…..” Daniel ran out of steam, especially as Jack was advancing on him. Daniel stepped back, then again until he was stopped by the sofa. Jack continued to advance.
“Jack, please, physical violence won’t get you anywhere. I know we don’t always see eye to eye but …”
“Shut up, Daniel.”
“Uh oh - I hate it when you say that. What have I got to do to …”
“Daniel, if you don’t stop talking I’ll …”
“You’ll what, Jack? Hit me, knock me over, hit me with that bottle of beer you are carrying?” Jack looked at the bottle, put it down and continued to advance. Daniel continued to nervously waffle on about what Jack might want to do to him. Jack had had enough and did the only thing he could think of to stop Daniel talking, he kissed him.
Daniel froze. It had just been a chaste kiss, soft on the lips but full of promise. Jack stepped back. Daniel opened his mouth a few times but nothing came out.
“That’s better,” stated Jack, standing back but putting his hands on Daniel’s shoulders. “Stop aping a guppy and look at me.” Daniel did exactly as he was told and looked Jack straight in the eyes.
“You kissed me!” he eventually declared.
“Only way I could think of to shut you up, Danny. Shame I can’t make a habit of it.”
“And why not?” Daniel declared.
“Daniel, two straight guys here!” Jack waved a finger between them.
“Who says?”
Jack faltered. He had always presumed Daniel was straight - after all, he’d been married and he’d obviously been with that Sarah/Osiris girl/woman/snake and then there was Ke’ra and Shyla - girl on every planet, that’s our Daniel. Jack knew he himself had dabbled in what he called buddy fucking and he also knew that he felt far more for Daniel than he should but what on earth had made him think kissing Daniel would a) shut him up and b) be the right thing to do? Daniel was waiting for an answer. Jack took his hands from Daniel’s shoulder and turned away as he said,
“Well, you are, aren’t you?”
“Doesn’t mean I haven’t tried. There’s this label and, although I don’t like labels, sometimes I need to SPELL IT OUT TO YOUR THICK SKULL that there is this thing called bisexuality. Do you really think, Jack, that as an anthropologist, I wouldn’t be the least bit curious about male bonding and relationships? The Greeks were at it all the time, it is not a sin and it is actually quite pleasurable ….” He tailed off. “Too much information, huh?”
They stared each other out.
“So, you’re not opposed to thinking about the possibility of maybe having what would be classed as a homosexual relationship … with another man?”
“That’s what homosexual means, Jack.”
“Yeah, I knew that.”
“So, where do we go from here, Jack? I come over here expecting earache and chewing out after a mission I nearly screwed up and you kiss me?”
“Yeah, life’s funny like that!”
“Can I do it back?”
“Do what back?”
“”Kiss you?”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Dani….” Daniel launched himself at Jack and plastered his body against his friend, kissing him with all the love and passion that had just been released from the constant UST that plagued the pair. Jack’s body responded in response to Daniel’s and, within seconds was giving as good as he was getting. Hands were everywhere as clothes were divested and Jack was urging Daniel up the few stairs and along the hall to his bedroom. They fell together across the bed, frantically groping and kissing like teenagers until Daniel suddenly froze then whispered Jack’s name and came all over their bellies. Jack followed suit and they clung to each other as though their lives depended on it.
The doorbell rang.
“Uh, that’ll be the pizza.”
“Like me and you, pizza’s good in bed too, Jack!” There was no going back now!