Alrighty then ... i'm hurt by your post from 2/21 i just figured out that it may be me you were angry at To be honest, seeing as each time I called you and tried to hand out with you, you always said you'd call back, we'd do something later. you never called. and I didn't want to press the issue, i figured you were busy with Kenny, he's beautiful and perfect. or maybe you were busy takin care of business with Carl. To be honest I thought you were done with me... grown up without me. *I* felt alone alot. And there was no way I was going to tell you that. you were right when you said that it was almost as if \i was taking the spotlight away from you when i found out i was pregnant. i dunno. I feel really alone. Other than Trevor. I love him so much. I don't know if i'd change anything, looking at how wonderful he is. Mike is trying to comnvince me that i should trust him and let him take trevor to his house whenever he wants. I just can't trust him like that. trevor's all i've got and I will spend every second of my existence protecting him. he's my world i don't know how you've done so well sometimes./ Snickers you impress me more and more every year. STOP GROWING UP DAMNIT!!! i would love to see our boys grow up together, but you already know that. please understand that this is not meant to be a harsh comment, but I never thought i'd see the day when I would so desperately need your advice so often. I never thought i'd be so weak. i wish there was someone to tell me what to do, and how to do it... and then assure me that the end result is ok. i too need to get out and meet people. what hasppen to those times we'd talk about clubbin and partyin and picking up strangers... ok, so we never talked about the strangers part --- but you were thinkin it! :p It seems that with every boyfriend so far i've lost more and more friends. and even now, when there is no boyfriend, a friend at work just moved to oklahoma. she was pretty much the only coworker of mine who was a friend. ok, i guess now i'm just venting. look, babe i'm sorry for making you upset in anyway, and you can delete this message as soon as you get it, but i just needed you to know that it was never intentional to push you away, i just stopped calling. i've felt like a pest lately. a moody one at that. pookie, just know that i love you always. and never meant to hurt you. kenny *is* perfect. he's such a sweet boy... and a little flirt, too! ;) <- like i said... PERFECT! *biiiiig hugs* ~cheesy
I don’t know if you will read this or not but I will reply to it anyways...I just read line by line what you wrote and commented on it so I might repeat things unintentionally…
Yes it was you I was mad at... and Carl... The reason I didn’t want to hang out was because you never paid me back for the Ladies retreat... but I no longer expect you to remember or care for that matter cuz you were too wrapped up in your own stuff... I have always been there for you... even when I had Carl... but you tended to stop being there for me when you had a guy. When you did call you never asked me how I was or how things were with Carl... so you wouldn’t know what I was busy with... To be really honest… I stopped calling you back because drama tends to follow you like a lost puppy. I was so tired of dealing with it. First DJ and the money… then your job, and then Mike, and then you “finally got your finances back in order”… but you still didn’t remember the money you owed me. So I stopped dealing with it. We were friends... we are supposed to tell each other things like "I feel alone". And you think that you felt alone? I lost everyone, which only consisted of Carl and you. You guys were my world. The only two people I really talked to… now I am scrounging around for people that I used to hang out with or talked to. I shut everyone else out the last year of high school and was left with no one to hang out with. Now I go to a moms group at church and am finding friends there but everyone is at least 5 years older than me. I tried giving you advice on how to deal with Mike... in fact I gave Mike advice too but neither of you took it so I will stop giving it. The reason I have done so well is because of God… Yes I made a mistake and slept with Carl and got pregnant… but I have asked God’s forgiveness and am working hard to accept it. I am doing things to better my life and Kenny’s. Did you even know that I am no longer going to date? I am waiting for the man God has for me. Then we will be courting not dating. I am actually reading my bible every night and keeping a prayer journal and I am praying over Kenny every night to be a strong man of God. Any advice I give will not make you any stronger, only God can make you stronger. And the only person that can tell you what to do and how to do it is Jesus. The only reason that you lose friends with every boyfriend is because you shut out your friends. (For example… Like with Jason… you mostly only told me the bad stuff… so I in turn grew to dislike him… you spent more and more time with him and I eventually didn’t want to hang out with you two because of those bad things and I couldn’t figure out why you were still with him.) (Not to hurt your feelings but Jason and I have been actually hanging out and have become good friends. He goes to church with me on Saturday nights. I thought you should hear it from me cuz you would have found out sooner or later.) Even if you didn’t mean to hurt me… you did… especially when you didn’t call me when you went to the hospital… especially when you made Jamie (or whatever) the godmother…among other things.
If you really want me/need me I will be there for you… I ALWAYS have been there for you… but I will no longer stand for the way you used to treat me/ lie to me. From now on I will tell it like it is… no sugar coating it. You need to be yourself around me and others, no more lies and no more pretending. I don’t wanna lose my best friend but I feel like she never really existed… like she was a made up person. We have so much history and so many inside jokes… I miss them. If you want me/ need me, I WILL be there for you but I wont let you mistreat me again. ~Snickers~
...
i'm hurt by your post from 2/21
i just figured out that it may be me you were angry at
To be honest, seeing as each time I called you and tried to hand out with you, you always said you'd call back, we'd do something later. you never called. and I didn't want to press the issue, i figured you were busy with Kenny, he's beautiful and perfect. or maybe you were busy takin care of business with Carl. To be honest I thought you were done with me... grown up without me.
*I* felt alone alot. And there was no way I was going to tell you that. you were right when you said that it was almost as if \i was taking the spotlight away from you when i found out i was pregnant. i dunno.
I feel really alone. Other than Trevor. I love him so much. I don't know if i'd change anything, looking at how wonderful he is.
Mike is trying to comnvince me that i should trust him and let him take trevor to his house whenever he wants. I just can't trust him like that.
trevor's all i've got and I will spend every second of my existence protecting him.
he's my world
i don't know how you've done so well sometimes./
Snickers you impress me more and more every year.
STOP GROWING UP DAMNIT!!!
i would love to see our boys grow up together, but you already know that.
please understand that this is not meant to be a harsh comment, but I never thought i'd see the day when I would so desperately need your advice so often. I never thought i'd be so weak.
i wish there was someone to tell me what to do, and how to do it... and then assure me that the end result is ok.
i too need to get out and meet people. what hasppen to those times we'd talk about clubbin and partyin and picking up strangers... ok, so we never talked about the strangers part --- but you were thinkin it! :p
It seems that with every boyfriend so far i've lost more and more friends. and even now, when there is no boyfriend, a friend at work just moved to oklahoma. she was pretty much the only coworker of mine who was a friend.
ok, i guess now i'm just venting.
look, babe i'm sorry for making you upset in anyway, and you can delete this message as soon as you get it, but i just needed you to know that it was never intentional to push you away, i just stopped calling. i've felt like a pest lately. a moody one at that.
pookie, just know that i love you always. and never meant to hurt you.
kenny *is* perfect. he's such a sweet boy... and a little flirt, too! ;) <- like i said... PERFECT!
*biiiiig hugs*
~cheesy
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Yes it was you I was mad at... and Carl... The reason I didn’t want to hang out was because you never paid me back for the Ladies retreat... but I no longer expect you to remember or care for that matter cuz you were too wrapped up in your own stuff... I have always been there for you... even when I had Carl... but you tended to stop being there for me when you had a guy.
When you did call you never asked me how I was or how things were with Carl... so you wouldn’t know what I was busy with...
To be really honest… I stopped calling you back because drama tends to follow you like a lost puppy. I was so tired of dealing with it. First DJ and the money… then your job, and then Mike, and then you “finally got your finances back in order”… but you still didn’t remember the money you owed me. So I stopped dealing with it.
We were friends... we are supposed to tell each other things like "I feel alone".
And you think that you felt alone? I lost everyone, which only consisted of Carl and you. You guys were my world. The only two people I really talked to… now I am scrounging around for people that I used to hang out with or talked to. I shut everyone else out the last year of high school and was left with no one to hang out with. Now I go to a moms group at church and am finding friends there but everyone is at least 5 years older than me.
I tried giving you advice on how to deal with Mike... in fact I gave Mike advice too but neither of you took it so I will stop giving it.
The reason I have done so well is because of God… Yes I made a mistake and slept with Carl and got pregnant… but I have asked God’s forgiveness and am working hard to accept it. I am doing things to better my life and Kenny’s. Did you even know that I am no longer going to date? I am waiting for the man God has for me. Then we will be courting not dating. I am actually reading my bible every night and keeping a prayer journal and I am praying over Kenny every night to be a strong man of God.
Any advice I give will not make you any stronger, only God can make you stronger. And the only person that can tell you what to do and how to do it is Jesus.
The only reason that you lose friends with every boyfriend is because you shut out your friends. (For example… Like with Jason… you mostly only told me the bad stuff… so I in turn grew to dislike him… you spent more and more time with him and I eventually didn’t want to hang out with you two because of those bad things and I couldn’t figure out why you were still with him.) (Not to hurt your feelings but Jason and I have been actually hanging out and have become good friends. He goes to church with me on Saturday nights. I thought you should hear it from me cuz you would have found out sooner or later.)
Even if you didn’t mean to hurt me… you did… especially when you didn’t call me when you went to the hospital… especially when you made Jamie (or whatever) the godmother…among other things.
If you really want me/need me I will be there for you… I ALWAYS have been there for you… but I will no longer stand for the way you used to treat me/ lie to me. From now on I will tell it like it is… no sugar coating it. You need to be yourself around me and others, no more lies and no more pretending. I don’t wanna lose my best friend but I feel like she never really existed… like she was a made up person. We have so much history and so many inside jokes… I miss them. If you want me/ need me, I WILL be there for you but I wont let you mistreat me again.
~Snickers~
Reply
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