It's been a while
Original here
As it is done, a prince found a portrait of a beautiful girl amongst a trader's wares from distant lands. And he began to search for her - he had fallen in love at first sight.
For a year he searched, and for two; he asked friends, and acquaintances, and friends of friends and their relatives; he turned to search agencies and to private detectives - and finally, one day, he had an answer.
So he came to the place he was told about. He knocked on the castle gates, and a fat, hairy man in a leather apron came forth.
"Is it here that the Beautiful Princess resides?"
"And what if she does?"
"Could you call her?"
"Why call? I am already here."
"What?"
"Just that. I am Beautiful Princess."
"You're pulling my leg. Here, I have her portrait!"
"Does it really matter what userpic I use?"
Original here
The Handsome Prince leaned over the Sleeping Beauty and kissed her on the lips.
"What time is it?...", she asked sleepily.
"Half past two."
"And the date?"
"September 12th, 1567."
"You shameless monster!", she sighed. "I could have slept for another five years!"
Original here
The Beauty and the Beast lived in a flask.
There was plenty of room for both of them. The Beauty, as is the custom, was miniature, and the Monster had been enchanted and turned insect-size by a magician. He wasn't a good magician, but he wasn't an evil one, either. Just an ordinary one. A professional magician. Like an engineer, or a sailor... it was just a job.
His hobby was keeping decorative Monsters. Like one might keep goldfish in an aquarium. And he'd put Beauties in with them. Like snails. For the same purpose: to keep the aquarium clean. Because Monsters can't tidy. But Beauties do. Not all of them, naturally. After all, you wouldn't put any old snail in with the fish, either. But the aquarium kind can.
So, the Beauty and the Monster lived comfortably in their flask. They were good friends. They reacted to their imprisonment differently, though. The Beauty wanted freedom, but the Monster was afraid of open spaces.
"You see", the Monster would say, "here, in the flask, I'm just a cute tiny creature. But if I escape - who knows how it will end? If the spell is broken, I will become big and fearsome. And if I also turn out to be evil - rivers of blood will flow. I don't want to risk it. I'd rather live peacefully in my flask."
The Beauty, specially bred for aquariums, would reply: "Nonsense! You are a free, powerful animal. Your purpose is to do great things. Whether good or evil, it is wrong to deny your nature!"
Whenever the magician worked from home, the Beauty would watch him. She would learn the magical gestures, practice the tongue-twisting words...
And there came a day when she finally realised: she knew enough. She could free them both from the flask.
The Monster tried to talk her out of it. "If you want to escape that badly - here, I'll give you a leg up and you can climb out. Trust me, I'm better off in here."
"Silly!", the Beauty replied. "I'm doing this for you! Such a wonderful, mighty creature should not be kept locked up!"
She spoke the incantation, the flask cracked and they made their way out.
Freedom was hard for both of them at first. They had to find places for themselves in a new, unfamiliar environment. A year on, though, the Monster had found himself a job at an amusement park, giving rides to small children on his back. As for the Beauty, she finished a course in Higher magic as a remote student, and just a few months after that she already had herself a crown and was named a Dark Lord, commander of demons.
That's all. Happy end.
In other news, we have goldfish. But no snails.