Evil Rob Strikes Back!
Motherfucker.
First off, I should probably explain that I'm not in a good mood. Nor am I in some sort of bad mood, in fact I really just don't give a shit about anything at the moment. However, I was definitely put in my place tonight. It didn't hurt, I didn't go off and wander around alone and mope, I didn't lock myself up in my room, I went over to my friends and didn't even think about it...for the most part.
Blah. I really fucked up. I've really fucked up this week too. I let my premintions get the best off me and I'm lucky she still gives me the time of day. For some reason, I just got mad about my situation. Why the fuck do I put up with this? Why do I go off chasing some girl whose affection is already mis/displaced enough? And it just got brought on by a question about a flowers. I don't know. I haven't been really mad in a long time, and I was hardly so tonight, I was hurt and consistently wanted an answer from a girl whose already given me enough answer as she can. Blah.
I'm wondering if things will ever return to the "way" they "were." Except the only real difference between "then" and "now" was I got kissed regularly. Woot. I keep reminding myself it doesn't matter. And it doesn't. For some reason I want to yell and complain to those assholes back in my past who convinced me of my current mentality, but of course. It's fucking me. It's my fault, I put myself in this position. Partially. So some girls treated me like shit, so
I don't really know what I'm trying to say, but I'm quite frustrated. I am angry, I am tired of being alone. I'm tired of waiting, and terrified of a relationship.
Now why the fuck am I? Am I so afraid of a repeat of what wasn't even that big of a deal? Oh no! The girl who pretty much had be wrapped around her finger hates me because I grew some balls and dumped her! Oh no! Ugh. I can't justify why I'm scared. Maybe I'm lying to myself, wouldn't be the first time.
So fuck it, I'm not going to change any time soon. I've done what I can, did more than that, did way too much, got sort of pushy, and now I'm pretty much back where I was, except I have more people to talk too.
So, in short:
I put my foot in my mouth quite the bit.
I got a shirt from a girl I used to like today. Hooray?
Oh no, don't worry, I'm not barking up that tree again.
Two year anniversaries can kiss my ass.
One year anniversaries will probably bug the hell out of me.
I should listen to my mom's advice she's been telling me for about two years now and "just get laid."
Thanks, Mom.
First off, I should probably explain that I'm not in a good mood. Nor am I in some sort of bad mood, in fact I really just don't give a shit about anything at the moment. However, I was definitely put in my place tonight. It didn't hurt, I didn't go off and wander around alone and mope, I didn't lock myself up in my room, I went over to my friends and didn't even think about it...for the most part.
Blah. I really fucked up. I've really fucked up this week too. I let my premintions get the best off me and I'm lucky she still gives me the time of day. For some reason, I just got mad about my situation. Why the fuck do I put up with this? Why do I go off chasing some girl whose affection is already mis/displaced enough? And it just got brought on by a question about a flowers. I don't know. I haven't been really mad in a long time, and I was hardly so tonight, I was hurt and consistently wanted an answer from a girl whose already given me enough answer as she can. Blah.
I'm wondering if things will ever return to the "way" they "were." Except the only real difference between "then" and "now" was I got kissed regularly. Woot. I keep reminding myself it doesn't matter. And it doesn't. For some reason I want to yell and complain to those assholes back in my past who convinced me of my current mentality, but of course. It's fucking me. It's my fault, I put myself in this position. Partially. So some girls treated me like shit, so
I don't really know what I'm trying to say, but I'm quite frustrated. I am angry, I am tired of being alone. I'm tired of waiting, and terrified of a relationship.
Now why the fuck am I? Am I so afraid of a repeat of what wasn't even that big of a deal? Oh no! The girl who pretty much had be wrapped around her finger hates me because I grew some balls and dumped her! Oh no! Ugh. I can't justify why I'm scared. Maybe I'm lying to myself, wouldn't be the first time.
So fuck it, I'm not going to change any time soon. I've done what I can, did more than that, did way too much, got sort of pushy, and now I'm pretty much back where I was, except I have more people to talk too.
So, in short:
I put my foot in my mouth quite the bit.
I got a shirt from a girl I used to like today. Hooray?
Oh no, don't worry, I'm not barking up that tree again.
Two year anniversaries can kiss my ass.
One year anniversaries will probably bug the hell out of me.
I should listen to my mom's advice she's been telling me for about two years now and "just get laid."
Thanks, Mom.