I'm not going to lose it, I'm going to keep calm.
All right, first off I have to quit my job. No, I'm serious.
I'm really quitting this time because in three hours I have to be there and it's just the right time to leave.
I've grown accustomed to the freedom of just being able to walk away and if I have to stand there and make another Cafe Mocha and think about how good Nicole was at bartending....I just can't, and I never liked Starbucks anyway.
Second off, my mother called me a bitch last night and I want to know just where the hell does she get off!
She had called me on the phone and I had told her calmly that Nicole is dead and she had said "WHAT!?"
because she thought I was talking about my older sister, Nicole.
So slightly annoyed I said, "No, Nicole from work."
To that she said that she was sure I was very upset and she'll come home straight away.
And she did and she sat down on my bed and asked me about what happened, like I was there.
And then I started talking and I just blurted out "And she was so young, so pretty-"
"Well it wouldn't matter if she were ugly, Angel." she said fairly haughtily.
And I said "That's not what I meant and don't tell me what matters!" slightly jumping the gun.
And she said "Don't you disrespect me!"
And I said thickly because I was about to cry "If you're going to make this harder then you can just leave."
And she said firmly "I'm not trying to make anything harder- god you're such a bitch."
And she left and I cried and tried to understand how that, for the hundredth time, went wrong.
Now in a few hours I'll have to face her and see how it's going to pan out. Will she be reproachful, will she be resentful, will she be sorry, will she be silent?
Third off, I've sent my friend Kristina a Care Bear Push on/Push off light. It's this big circular nightlight that you attach to the wall and just press down on the center to switch it on. It's got a picture of Sleepy Bear on it, or Nighttime Bear, or Grumpy Bear. I don't know, the blue one.
But she has a liking for those things, like the Care Bears and Strawberry Shortcake and My Little Pony. I sent it to her just because I'm worried that we're growing apart because I haven't seen her in so long. And I'm starting to recognize the importance of friends lately.
Plus the package was light enough that it wasn't very expensive to send.
I still have a much heavier box of stuff I've been meaning to send Tiara for ages. If only I could just...snap my fingers and have it suddenly appear in her lap.
Plus I've got about 3 years of Birthday presents I haven't sent Gabby. She's been politely miffed about my tardiness.
I'm tired, I haven't slept and I'm dreading walking back into work. Just two more days and then I'll be off for three days and I can find another job. Just two.
I think I'll use my tip money to go to Borders and buy something, that'll cheer me up.
I'm really quitting this time because in three hours I have to be there and it's just the right time to leave.
I've grown accustomed to the freedom of just being able to walk away and if I have to stand there and make another Cafe Mocha and think about how good Nicole was at bartending....I just can't, and I never liked Starbucks anyway.
Second off, my mother called me a bitch last night and I want to know just where the hell does she get off!
She had called me on the phone and I had told her calmly that Nicole is dead and she had said "WHAT!?"
because she thought I was talking about my older sister, Nicole.
So slightly annoyed I said, "No, Nicole from work."
To that she said that she was sure I was very upset and she'll come home straight away.
And she did and she sat down on my bed and asked me about what happened, like I was there.
And then I started talking and I just blurted out "And she was so young, so pretty-"
"Well it wouldn't matter if she were ugly, Angel." she said fairly haughtily.
And I said "That's not what I meant and don't tell me what matters!" slightly jumping the gun.
And she said "Don't you disrespect me!"
And I said thickly because I was about to cry "If you're going to make this harder then you can just leave."
And she said firmly "I'm not trying to make anything harder- god you're such a bitch."
And she left and I cried and tried to understand how that, for the hundredth time, went wrong.
Now in a few hours I'll have to face her and see how it's going to pan out. Will she be reproachful, will she be resentful, will she be sorry, will she be silent?
Third off, I've sent my friend Kristina a Care Bear Push on/Push off light. It's this big circular nightlight that you attach to the wall and just press down on the center to switch it on. It's got a picture of Sleepy Bear on it, or Nighttime Bear, or Grumpy Bear. I don't know, the blue one.
But she has a liking for those things, like the Care Bears and Strawberry Shortcake and My Little Pony. I sent it to her just because I'm worried that we're growing apart because I haven't seen her in so long. And I'm starting to recognize the importance of friends lately.
Plus the package was light enough that it wasn't very expensive to send.
I still have a much heavier box of stuff I've been meaning to send Tiara for ages. If only I could just...snap my fingers and have it suddenly appear in her lap.
Plus I've got about 3 years of Birthday presents I haven't sent Gabby. She's been politely miffed about my tardiness.
I'm tired, I haven't slept and I'm dreading walking back into work. Just two more days and then I'll be off for three days and I can find another job. Just two.
I think I'll use my tip money to go to Borders and buy something, that'll cheer me up.